The definition of an Aunt

Posted on January 12, 2021 by nicdempsey

This was one of my Christmas presents…

One of those things is true, and my sister in law is way cooler than I am!

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Monday Miscellany: 2021 is not getting off to a good start

Posted on January 11, 2021 by nicdempsey

Happy Monday!

My hope for this coming week is that it’s not as awful as last week. We are 9 days closer to Trump not being President of the USA, unfortunately Boris Johnson and his government of incompetent liars is not going anywhere but let’s hope that the lockdown starts to have an impact and infection rates start to go down before the NHS collapses in a heap.

In other news, going to back to work this week was deeply ok, I had a good year end appraisal and eased back into work, I have a ton of ideas right now, I just need to maintain sufficient focus to implement them. It’s January and right now I feel like I have the attention span of a goldfish!

The tree came down on Wednesday morning but I’ll be hoovering up pine needles at least until April! I have been getting out for a walk most days and trying to establish a routine again after Christmas, which has become really important as January and lockdown seem to be combining almost to produce stress and depression.

I’m ok, because I have strategies in place and I’m good at noticing when I’m slipping. I’ve found this really useful to gauge whereabouts I am and when I need to ask for help. So I’m putting it here just in case it’s useful to you. Bear in mind that not everything will apply to you, but for instance I find that my first signs of trouble are often that I’m more easily overwhelmed or irritated and I get very focussed on control.

The other thing to remember is that although other people may be struggling in ‘worse’ situations (I feel so bad for parents right now), it doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to struggle with your circumstances. I haven’t touched a human being apart from my mother since October, and I haven’t seen her for over a week. It’s ok to find that difficult and if you are finding yourself on the yellow, orange or red place in this please, talk to someone, sooner rather than later.

Ok, let’s power through this week!

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Friday Links: 2021 was supposed to be better….

Posted on January 8, 2021 by nicdempsey

Happy Friday!

Last week, I intended to start blogging again but it just didn’t happen. I’ve been busy and the news has been rubbish and I’m having a problem with uploading photos.

Anyway, the week has been full of news, the return of lockdown, an attempted coup in the US (you have to name it to see how serious it is) and all sorts of other stuff, I really feel that 2021 has a lot to do to be worse than 2020 but it’s really trying, hopefully it’ll lose momentum..

Britain could be mass-producing its Covid shot. Shame we junked our industrial base

If Boris Johnson cared about schools, he’d already have sacked Gavin Williamson

Call it what it was: a coup attempt

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Friday Links: Early Edition for Christmas

Posted on December 23, 2020 by nicdempsey

You know how you often get paid the week before you usually would in December? Well as Friday is Christmas Day, so reading for the week is going to be slightly earlier.

Let’s get the bad stuff over with now.

With his sudden U-turn over Christmas, Boris Johnson caps a year of debacles

‘Most incompetent government’: Londoners’ fury at Covid tier 4 rules.

This crisis isn’t just for Christmas, but for months to come – Britain needs leadership

Away from the awfulness of this Govt.

Early humans may have survived the harsh winters by hibernating. If this is true, I must be part Neanderthal….

Romp and circumstance: why Netflix’s Bridgerton is just our cup of tea this year. We are so watching this over Christmas…

Frying-pan pizza and frozen grapes: Guardian readers’ best kitchen tips from lockdown

Why moth orchids make perfect housemates. I really want an orchid but I’m running out of room for house plants.

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Monday Miscellany: Tier Four

Posted on December 21, 2020 by nicdempsey

Happy Monday!

I’m so angry. On Saturday night our idiot Prime Minister put all of London and most of the South East into a new Tier 4 lockdown from midnight. Which means that family Christmas is out. We’re ok, Ma and I are a support bubble and will spend Christmas together but I’m very much mourning my Christmas with my brother, sister in law, the nephews and the new puppy and really sad for all the people who will be alone for Christmas and didn’t plan to be.

My Christmas will not like this in 2020

Anyway, fortunately for us, Ma and I ordered some beef from Dorset Meats, we have all the food and drink we could want (we also went to The Cheddar Deli on Saturday, so have an outrageous amount of cheese too!)

I bought a Christmas tree at the weekend, it’s currently outside in a bucket of water and we’ll put it up and decorate it on Christmas Eve as usual.

Christmas will be more like this

Christmas isn’t cancelled, but it’s going to look different for lots of people this year and Johnston could have avoided much of the stress and disappointment that people are feeling right now by being open and honest earlier, when everyone with a clue was saying there was an issue. As ever he dodged it, tried to entirely blame the new variant and now there is a travel ban from 11 EU countries. It’s not just events, it’s the government’s complete inability to understand that actions have bloody consequences.

This week is quiet at work and at home, I’ll just be wrapping things and making cheese stars and mince pies and then it will be Christmas. If you aren’t having the Christmas you planned, I hope you manage to have a peaceful, joyous time anyway!

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Friday Links: Tier Three and other disasters…

Posted on December 18, 2020 by nicdempsey

Happy Friday! This is going out late because I’ve had a week. I was reminded this morning that I’ve been working from home for 40 weeks, which is the time it takes to grow a baby. I haven’t done that but it’s quite a wedge of time. I don’t think it’s been a complete loss, I’ve still managed to achieve things and learnt lots, I know this year hasn’t been easy for anyone but it’s been easier for me than for others. However, it’s been we got to the end of this year. People are still living, children are growing, people are getting married and having babies. Life is finding a way. Many amazing, clever people developed multiple vaccines for a disease that didn’t exist 18 months ago. Life is hard and uncertain but hope is possible because we are surrounded by miracles.

Ok enough sentimentality, here are some links…

Boris Johnson won’t be able to escape responsibility for a crash-out Brexit

Facing a lonely holiday? Single moms know how to help. I’m not sure I agree with all of this and I’m not sure that I’d mind spending Christmas alone, but I also know that I’ve never done it yet and I won’t this year. I think if you have to, do something lovely for you and to hell with what anyone else thinks..

Le Carré’s death touched me. It feels like the grownups are leaving the room. November and December are the times I think most about my dead. I’m sad about John Le Carré but I’m glad that he seemed to have lived a good life and died surrounded by the people he loved, who loved him. Last week, my eldest godson found out that his cousin, in her early 20’s was found dead. So I’ve been thinking a lot about the eulogy at my father’s funeral. Michael didn’t really know my dad but he knew the rest of us and he has a gift, Michael talked about people who die young and how some would see it as a waste. He talked about the mystery of being human that we don’t know why we’re here and that having sung ‘our’ song we die, but we don’t know and can’t understand what that is or when it’s done. This week, I’ve been thinking about that a lot. We never fully recover fo

Boris Johnson’s lack of clarity is offloading Christmas anxiety on to the nation

Boris Johnson has a habit of delaying tough choices. In a pandemic, it’s lethal. I think this is actually rather flattering to Johnson.

Viruses adapt, it seems: what a tragedy that Tory cabinet ministers don’t

Waste, Negligence and Cronyism: Inside Britain’s Pandemic Spending. Even the Americans have noticed…

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Allotment Adventures: Winter Work

Posted on December 16, 2020 by nicdempsey

Last weekend was probably the most work we’ll do on the plot until Christmas but the winter work continues. I really enjoy the more relaxed pace of winter, we don’t have to spend all day on the plot but the work we do here really helps make spring and summer easier.

This year, all of the work is about making the plot work better and having it ready to go in spring. We’re in December but we only have about 12 weeks before we start thinking about spring planting!

My plan for this weekend was to move a blackcurrant bush and the gooseberries. I did move the blackcurrant, then I topped up all the raspberry and blackcurrant beds with wood chip. The area where we had blueberries had gotten really weedy, so I decided that we’d weed that and re-up the wood chip.

While we were doing that we took a decision to move the verbena, remove the rose and lemon balm plant. Then we laid down cardboard and wood chip. If we get time this week, I think the plan is for a weed and wood chip the main path at the back.

Over the next few months, we want to work on the weedy areas, down by the gooseberries need some work, as does the area by the apple tree and the side path near there. And this bit by the kale.

Over Christmas, I want to move the gooseberries and work on weeding and tidying up those edges.

I think we’ve also decided that the planned patio will have to wait for another year because that money would be better spent on building all the beds we need to build and sorting out the ones that need dealing with on the old half. We need to build three entirely new beds, move the bed that currently has chard in it, and move and split the big squash bed. I don’t think we’ll get to that over Christmas but I would like to have all of that done by the end of January.

So in February, we can start filling them up with compost! The work is never done but I feel like we’re on track!

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Monday Miscellany: Running to Christmas

Posted on December 14, 2020 by nicdempsey

Happy Monday!

I feel, as I always do this time of year, that I am running towards Christmas and I’m not ready. I have just under two weeks and it’ll be fine. This week will be busy at work but it’s going to calm down and with any luck in the week before Christmas, I’ll be able to work on some stuff for the new year and it will be ok. Home stuff will sort itself out, mostly next weekend and it’ll be ok.

What else? First a story. After Stef died, I was a mess, I felt very alone and very needy and it sucked, for me and for the people around me. I’ve spent a lot of time in therapy working on not feeling like that, on being a less high maintenance friend on enjoying my friendships for what and where they are. I think it’s a particular problem when you’re single because your friendships can be more unbalanced and mean more to you than they do to your friends who have partners and children. This year has been weird in that sense, I’ve seen more of some friends and much less of others but it’s been ok.

This week, I had a conversation with a friend that upset me, not because it was intentionally hurtful, but because someone I care about hadn’t even considered that they might hurt me, either with the action or the conversation. It was the casual dismissal of me, as if I had no feelings. Well that’s how it felt.

This year has been spectacularly awful, I would not encourage big emotional swings but this time has made me really think about effort and love and ease. In trying to be an easy friend, I’ve found that I’ve become an unconsidered friend. It’s also really been a time of ease in other friendships that have felt much closer.

I mention it here because I think year has changed a lot of our relationships and I’m probably not the only one pondering how or whether to tackle something that isn’t as easy or good for us as it used to be.

Racing elves

In other news, I finally got an office chair, which is easier on my back. I got out of the house every day except Sunday and I finally wrote my Christmas cards. There was a really good day on the allotment on Saturday, we bought this year’s racing crackers (polar bears this year!). A pretty good week considering the circumstances of 2020.

This week, I have the work Christmas party on Friday, via Zoom god help us! My mental health plan for the week, is golden hour, daily yoga and going for a walk every day. Next weekend, I need to buy a Christmas tree and finish Christmas present buying and get to some baking. If there are no Cheese Stars, is it really Christmas?

Have a good week!

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Friday Links: Where is that Oven Ready Deal we were promised?

Posted on December 11, 2020 by nicdempsey

Happy Friday? It’s been a week and I still need to make mince pies!

The Covid vaccines bring hope: but in many parts of the UK this crisis will last

‘This Must Be Your First

By stopping players taking the knee, Millwall have handed racists a victory. Or as Mum would like it known, ‘the club that was full of people who supported Enoch Powell is bound to be racist.’ But it’s good to see that QPR is walking the walk, if only they could win a game.

Brexit was never a grassroots movement, but an elitist political takeover

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Allotment Adventures: We built compost bins

Posted on December 9, 2020 by nicdempsey

We finally got the compost bins built this week! They are not straight but they are built!

That done, I got on with cutting down the autumn raspberries and removing the summer one. Ma got on with weeding the area by the compost bins.

If you cast your mind back to last year, this area was the first bit of the new half that we worked on.

December 2019

The weeds are persistent and we had another compost bin there. So once Ma had weeded, I moved the compost pile and we laid down cardboard and covered in wood chip. I’m going to move the wooden compost bin to the back with the others. I think we’ll leave the black one in place. We are going to remove the little wooden fence and add two more raised beds to that space but that probably can wait until spring.

At the other end, we’ve made some decisions. The summer raspberries are gone (I’m sure they will make an attempt to come back in the spring but we’ll just keep pulling them up!) We currently have two blackcurrant bushes in one bed, so next week, I’ll move one of them to the bed where the summer raspberries were. If there is woodchip, I’ll top up all the fruit bushes with it as that’s always helped them.

Also on the list for next week, is moving the gooseberries into the bed and weeding so much weeding on that that part of the plot. I also need to strim the paths as well.

I’ll like to list all the other things I need to do next week but we have about 3-4 hours and if I get all of that done, I’ll be surprised!

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