Monday Miscellany: Birthday

Posted on August 11, 2026 by nicdempsey

Happy Tuesday !

  • I’m a day behind this week because I spent yesterday with a migraine. I’m now at the point that I’ve decided it’s the weather. I’m not built for days that are 25c or above and I think it’s adding stress to my system, that I just can’t cope with.
  • As I get older birthdays really do become less important. This one was very quiet. I was at Mum’s, I had to log in and do some work because this month’s reporting was a disaster. I took Mum for a walk and we watched The Philadelphia Story, which is still my favourite film..
  • On Friday, I went home and was quite tired. Sue and Kathy came over for a Friday fizz and that was great. Sue and Kathy and I are all doing or have done elderly parent care (and more besides for both of them) it helps to be understood.
  • I think that the biggest problem that I have is restorative rest. I have an ever increasing list of things that need doing in every corner of my life and I never get enough space to complete the lists or even just to do enough to feel good about them. I really understand why Mum was so grumpy in her late forties/early fifties, it’s relentless and I don’t have children to deal with either.
  • Saturday was a mum day, I did shower, bed change, food prep and I washed the net curtains in mum’s bedroom. I’m behind in my housework but up to date with hers, (I really can’t be excelling in all areas!) and I went home via my uncles to drop off his birthday present!
  • On Sunday, Christelle came over, we had lunch at Tempo and it was very lovely. I also watered the plot in the morning.
  • I have three days off this week and I have high hopes of at least one of them for allotment work. Even though we are back to 30c and over weather..
  • One of those days is for taking Mum for a hospital appointment, this is our yearly visit with the consultant. Ma has been on a ‘dip’ for the last month and I’m hoping that we can up the leva dopa and see if that helps, however I’m also aware that if it helps in PSP, it only helps for 18 months to 2 years and she’s been taking in for nearly a year now. So the best we can get is a ‘dead cat bounce’.

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Monday Miscellany: Into August

Posted on August 3, 2026 by nicdempsey

Happy Monday!

  • This week is officially Birthday week. However I have three days of work first but honestly I have no plans. Thursday with Mum and Friday on the plot. That’s about all I can commit to right now!
  • It’s become a bit of a joke the last few years it’s rained on my birthday, when we are desperate for rain, it doesn’t look like it will. Temps are set to go to over 34c today, this has been a really hard summer.
  • Last week was not a good work week, the spirit was willing but I couldn’t get my head together, I’m sure that only having three days at work and needing to have the monthly reporting done before I go will sufficiently focus me but let’s see!
  • We did have the excitement of a double fire alarm on Thursday. Went off once and then as we were going back in, went off again.
  • As predicted last week, my plants finally arrived, they were extremely crispy, I don’t know if they’ll revive but the nursery is going to look at what they have and refund what they can’t resend.
  • It’s tomatoes on toast season. M very happy about it!

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Allotment Adventures: More like the picture I have in my head

Posted on July 29, 2026 by nicdempsey

This summer is my 10th with the plot and honestly it’s been brutal. It’s not just the weather, it’s the time. Last summer I was caring for mum a bit but not like this. I was at mum’s on a Saturday but I was home during the week, I could finish work and water and do an hour of weeding.

That has not been the case this year and it shows. For the first time in 10 years, there is bindweed in flower on my plot. It’s been overrun and it’s overwhelming. I did get to a bit of clearing at that beginning of the month but even in the drought the weeds keep growing.

Christelle said she’d come help and on Sunday she did. We really went for it. And all the paths and beds up to the blueberries got weeded. she was a machine. I got the front bed and rhubarb tidied and watered. Christelle cut the very crispy wildflower and blackberry beds back and I trimmed back the sage and artemisia, and cleared the other two beds at the front.

I also planted some catmint and all the orphan tomatoes. They may die, but at least they will have had a fighting chance. As we cleared the beds we watered them but it’s dry and the water barely penetrated the soil.

Christelle and I both attacked the grass and cornflowers around the gooseberries, I need to manage this area better, carboard and woodchip are keeping nothing down, so I’m going to put weed fabric down but I’m not going to cover it with wood chip, so I can keep an eye on it. It won’t look pretty but it should help a bit.

By this point we had filled the garden waste bin, so we used the bed behind the gooseberries as well as three of the pots and a big bag, all are full and I’ve ordered another garden waste bin.

I weeded the asparagus patch, watered it and topped up with compost. The blueberries were watered as were the fruit trees and the other beds.

We picked some chard, padron peppers, tomatoes, basil, potatoes and blueberries for Christelle to take home and Richard and Tana donated some courgettes and cucumbers as well! This was my first pepper and I kept it for myself! We also picked some plums

There is a lot more work to do but no longer looks abandoned.

I have some time next week and the week after and hopefully, I get it back under control.

The list for the end of August is as follows

  • Weed everything, paths and beds.
  • Decide which beds I’m not going to use and cover them
  • Decide which beds I am going to use and plant them
  • Take down the bean frame which hasn’t been used
  • Plant the leeks
  • Sort out the mint bath by the blackcurrants and that whole area

Later on, I need to sort the rose area and the back where the boysenberry it before it starts trying to invade the polytunnel again.

There’s always something to do but I need to get it more under control so I can really sort it out in the winter.

Finally, I might need to start wearing closed in shoes!

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Monday Miscellany: Sometimes you just don’t have the mojo

Posted on July 27, 2026 by nicdempsey

Happy Monday!

Many moons ago, in fact when I was still in my twenties! Christelle and would talk about ‘having the mojo’. This was a perfect state when your hair was perfect, all your favourite clothes were clean, you when out on a Saturday and pulled! A flow state if you will. Last week for me was the opposite of that. Ladies and gentlemen, I was mojo-less. Please bear that in mind for this week’s miscellany…

  • I started the week post migraine but with a headache that wouldn’t quit. A six and a half day headache, with some interesting vision issues (like wearing old glasses with a prescription slightly out of alignment). I worked through that but it didn’t help my mood any.
  • On Thursday, I had a delivery of plants scheduled to be delivered from Dyfi. It’s happened before and they leave them in the porch, which is always fine and I was home Thursday night. I got an email, ‘we tried to deliver’. Ok, reschedule for Friday, when I will be home, delay my walk to make sure I’m in, receive another ‘we tried to deliver’ email. I was home. I tried to contact customer service and get stuck in a loop, but no actual person or phone number to call. I download the Royal Mail app and set preferences to ‘leave in the porch’. They tried to deliver on Saturday and again this morning when I was in but there was no knock on the door. Still haven’t left it in the porch. I’m at the point where it’s just out of my hands, I’ve gone through anger and into resignation. I can’t speak to a person and when I’m in, they say I’m not. On either day they could have left it in the porch like I asked. Now I’m not home not until Thursday night, the weather is back in the 30’s again next week and those plants are dead.
  • I had ordered something for Ma from M&S and went to pick it up last weekend they couldn’t find it. Ok, I explained I can’t check again until Friday, that’s fine they tell me. You know what’s coming, don’t you? I went in on Friday, they’ve sent it back. This is part of an ongoing issue I’m having with them, as they still haven’t refunded me for the sandwiches I ordered that weren’t there at pick up. The systems are in place but staff seem not to know what the hell the systems are.
  • If you want to understand why people are so angry with government and life in general, it’s this. It’s the enshitification of life and services. It’s a hosepipe ban when leaks aren’t fixed and Thames water is polluting rivers and giving bonuses while putting bills up. It’s spending three hours trying to get a parcel delivered and getting 12 emails and them still not doing what you need. It’s trying to navigate a care system that seems only concerned with not spending money and to hell with actual care or quality of life. It’s the trains not working but costing a fortune. It’s worrying about the cost of groceries or childcare while being told there’s no money for pay rises, but the boss did get a pay rise and so did MP’s, it’s working and working but never getting anywhere and society’s implicit condemnation because you can’t afford to buy a house and you can’t get social housing. It’s having too much money for benefits but not enough to be comfortable or feel safe. That constant pressure has to go somewhere.
  • Work one is the usual July nightmare, a big change that requires changing the reporting. No one’s quite sure about what’s going where and the reporting is due first week of August, when I’m only in three days. Can we keep and adjust the week after? Nope. So I’m going into this week, knowing i need to chuck out everything I had planned and focus on that, so it’s ready for next week.
  • If you’ve read this far, the week wasn’t entirely terrible. I bought new sandals, that fit and don’t rub. I have big feet and they are wide but it does feel like shoes are getting smaller. My first pair of Tevas were size eight, this year the size nine’s don’t fit. Same with Birkenstock’s I’ve got from a usual eight to a wide nine and these sandals are from Hotter, size nine extra wide but the new trainer from them are a wide eight and fit fine. I’m very confused!
  • Other good things were a walk with Sue, which helped calm my nervous system and the first batch of mincemeat using some of the bramley apples that Jo ‘gifted’ my last week
  • The best thing was Christelle coming over on Sunday and slaving away at the plot with me. I’m so incredibly grateful. We got so much done. I may not have had the mojo this week but I’m grateful for my friends that do!

I hope I have a better week and you do too or at least a week you can fight to a draw!

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Recommended: Ironing board organiser

Posted on July 25, 2026 by nicdempsey

Last week Jo and I were talking about all the things that we are excited about and how middle-aged we are.

This is one of the things I mentioned.

A thing that hangs off the door of the cupboard of doom and holds the ironing board and the iron.

I know but it makes me feel happy and organised. (Because I’m middle-aged!)

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Monday Miscellany: Light at the End of the Tunnel

Posted on July 20, 2026 by nicdempsey

Happy Monday!

  • The last three weeks have been brutal. Yes, partly the heat which has settled into high 20’s this week but also being really busy in all areas of my life. Last week was the first week I felt that I was a bit more in control.
  • Part of that has been that I’ve had some social interaction too. This week that was a walk with Sue on Friday and some plot time and dinner at Jo’s on Saturday night!
  • I did not watch the England vs. France game on Saturday and I’m beginning to think I’m the problem, every time I don’t watch we play well. I don’t need to think about it until the Euros. But I’m glad that of the two teams in the final the Spanish won.
  • While I’ve been on HRT for about six years and at 52 should be in menopause, I still very much have a cycle and I still have migraines, they really do seem to have settled into a pattern and it’s towards the end of the month. I stop being able to sleep, maybe do too much and after a couple of days of that state of affairs, hello migraine. I’m in that time and I had a migraine on Sunday morning. They don’t seem to be day long affairs and sometimes are just visual issues but I would really like to be done with them and this week is not a good time.
  • In just over two weeks, it’s my birthday. Which means in three weeks, I’ll be older than my father ever was. I remember Ma being twitchy at 49 and Dad at 50, the ages their parents were when they died and thought it was odd. Now I get it. 2026/27 is my year of being twitchy about mortality.
  • It’s the summer holidays, schools broke up last week and the buses are much faster. It’s a small thing but it makes me happy.
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Monday Miscellany: World Cup Semi-Finals

Posted on July 13, 2026 by nicdempsey

Happy Monday!

  • While I’m still not convinced that England is going to win the World Cup, I would appreciate the bank holiday, July has been exhausting…
  • I’m writing this on the bus on Monday morning, while I do feel that I conduct most of my life from the bus, I do so silently. I know I’m overtired because the inability of the general public to wear fucking earphones is getting to me.
  • I didn’t go to the plot yesterday, last week banjaxed my back and I was just running on empty, but today I don’t feel refreshed, I just feel that I’m failing and I’m still tired. I can never get that balance being rest and activity right!
  • The team volunteer day was at the Rose Road Association. We tidied up the two gardens that are attached to their overnight respite centres. I’m amazed at what we achieved in 32c heat. One of the worst things l learnt is that parents only get about 70% of the funding they actually need to care for their children. It makes no sense, families of disabled children have a life sentence, it puts a strain on marriages, or the other children and at least one of them has to give up work to care. They’ve already sacrificed and continue to do so, the least we could do is actually support them.
  • Plans for this week are no plans. I say that but maybe dinner with Jo, and a walk with Sue. It’s going to be warm again this week, not as hot as last week but still heatwave temperatures (for London that’s 3 or more days at 28c or above) we’re only due one day lower than that at 27c in the next two weeks. Although chin up, schools break up in two weeks and it’s my birthday in August so I’m sure the weather will be colder and wetter for that!

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Allotment Adventures: Power weeding and serving drinks

Posted on July 8, 2026 by nicdempsey

On Sunday we had the open day and I hadn’t been to the plot much the previous weekend and it’s looking magnificently over grown.

Jude and Tana are saving me right now with watering so planted things are still alive but the truth is the birds have had the blackcurrants and the blueberries because I didn’t net them which is annoying but also not because I probably don’t have time for processing them at the moment!

Before

So I had a Sunday plan, go and sort out the front of the plot on Sunday morning. Go home and shower, spend the afternoon at the bar serving drinks, water and then collapse.

As you can see, it was rough! But I did it. I filled the weed bin up to do it but I’m much happier with it.

After

I weeded the entire area which left me with a tidier but also more barren looking front bed.

I did have plants for the occasion. The gaura and white scabious I bought at BBC Gardener’s World Live were destined for that bed. So in they went. This bed has no real design and I just dump things I like in there, and the tree makes life quite difficult as well. There are bulbs under and around the tree and last year I moved a stray rooted cola bottle plant (Artemisia abrotanum Cola) to the gap between the day lily and tree. It’s still alive and I know it’ll start getting bigger, (you put them in and they sit for a year or two then they are thugs) there is Erigeron around the edges but I need something that will tolerate shade and the tree roots. I don’t have anything that suits but I have 30 lavender (hidcote) plugs and some scaredy cat (Coleus canina) plugs. Now I know that both of those plants are full sun plants but I don’t currently have a place and I thought I’d take a chance. The lavender could make it and the scaredy cat plant won’t live past the frost (if we have one!) but it’s one I hope to over winter at home because cats and foxes detest it.

I may just end up putting a shed load of meadowsweet around the tree as that’s doing well by the blueberries. Anyway once that was done, things were watered and mulched with compost and maybe they’ll survive this weeks heatwave and maybe not.

I cut back the comfrey, weeded around the it and the rhubarb, mulched around the rhubarb (it’s not been a great rhubarb year. I’m really pleased with the way the lavender at the front is establishing and the woolly thyme underneath it. Naturally, I don’t have a decent picture of it but you can sort of see it at the back of the picture above.

I did pull up a lot of the californian poppies but most of them had gone to seed so they’ll be back!

From the other side

Then it was bar duty. We were so busy, and I was on my feet for 3 and half hours. We were pretty much out of booze by 5pm and it was such a contrast to last year when it rained pretty much non stop!

Then I went to water and got distracted by the tomatoes.

This year I bought them all and most of them are planted in what is normally the squash bed. They have been fed exactly once but I did put a bag of manure and all the bokashi in this bed. There are chocolate cherry and sungold cherry tomatoes, two nagina plum tomatoes and two harbinger and two yellow beefsteak type, the name of which completely escapes me!

But we’ve gone from this back in May

To this, after I’ve spent an hour sorting them out.

And the harbinger lived up to its name with the earliest tomatoes I thing I’ve ever had.

There was also a teeny tiny cherry harvest

As well as some potatoes, cucumbers and garlic.

The polytunnel looks great too

Lots more work to do. I want to get everything from where I cleared on Sunday to the blueberries sorted this week and the two beds a behind it cleared and planted up. You can see the jungle that needs sorting behind the rhubarb! I also I have leeks and more tomatoes to go in (because of course I do!)

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Monday Miscellany: Hot, Hot, Hot

Posted on July 6, 2026 by nicdempsey

Happy Monday!

The view from the bus
  • Ma and I have changed up the caring schedule. I now going over first thing on Monday morning and stay until Thursday morning and go into the office from her house. Then work depending, Friday is a WFH or office day. Saturday’s are the same. It’s the same amount of nights but it feels like more days as she gets the whole three days, rather than just Tuesday night. It feels easier for me too.
  • I don’t care what other people say about the UK’s inability to cope with heat. We’re back into a heatwave today and man I’m fed up with them. For those of you in the South, good luck, my top tip for bed times has been a fan and a misting bottle of water to help cool down but I have a frozen ‘hot’ water bottle ready to go.l as it’s not going to get below 18c at night for most of the week.
  • I’ve been using the concept ‘done done’ to make sure that I’m doing everything I need to do. It works like this. I’ve done the washing up when it’s washed and on the draining board. I’ve ’done done’ it when it’s dried up, put away and wiped down Laundry is done when it’s washed and drying, it’s ‘done done’ when it’s ironed and put away.. It’s been helping me put in the extra effort at the front end so my life is easier later.
The ‘done done’ kitchen on Friday night
  • My brother and sister in law took the nephews to Paris. The pictures have been brilliant.
  • Yesterday was the allotment open day. I spent 3 hours on my plot sorting out the front and five hours as bar staff. I did not stay up for the football but was woken up by some raucous celebration in the early hours. As a consequence this morning I’m a wreck of a human being. The difference between being an adult and being a kid is that I can’t stop because I’m tired and my back hurts. I’ve got two days in Southampton this week and Southampton days are very full on for me as I do all the team logistics and it involves much running around, the prospect does not fill me with joy but here we are.
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Allotment Adventures: June Overwhelm…

Posted on June 25, 2026 by nicdempsey

I have a lot going on at the moment and we had the heatwave and then the rain and I had a migraine over the first weekend of June and caught a cold in the second and boom here we are in nearly at the end on June and experiencing another heatwave and the plot is a tiny bit out of control.

There is some hope though, mostly provided by my lovely plot friends Tana and Jude, who have been watering for me.

The tomatoes look amazing , I did some tying up and weeding.

There is chard, broccoli and sprouts in the ground. I have dahlias in beds, the polytunnel is planted up. And so far so good, I got some cucumbers yesterday.

I’ve had my first big strawberry harvest and while yes there is a lot of work to do. I can get it back on track.

I spent 4 hours on the plot on Sunday and most of that was weeding. I had intended to get to the front of the plot but decided to start with the back. I pulled weeds from the lingonberry bed, the mini orchard, the tomato bed, the paths and just kept at it.

Cape gooseberry in the polytunnel

It wasn’t pretty and I have so much more to do but it’ll have to wait.

I have Friday off, as it was supposed to be cooler but we’re currently being predicted 34C and it’s an amber warning for weather, so I think I may get a couple of hours in early in the morning but not much beyond that. I live in hope of a massive thunderstorm coming and clearing the air overnight but I think that’s in vain.

The weeded path
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