Homeward bound

Posted on September 13, 2014 by nicdempsey

Today we leave Northumberland and travel all the way down the country and back to London. One of the things that we say a lot is that we’d spend more time up here if it was nearer!

I’m beginning to think that the journey up and down is part of the appeal, Ma and I spend the time travelling, adjusting to the new reality, either of going on holiday and getting to Middleham and then on the way back getting back into a London state of mind.

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This June, I did Krissie’s BeFULL course and we started off by thinking about a word that described the feeling that we wanted to feel and a time when we felt like that. I chose peace and I wrote this:

My word for this feeling is peaceful.
But I struggle with using one word, because that word means a whole bunch of other things. It also means feeling calm and secure and content and trusting and joyous about God’s plan for my life and it’s also the place where I accept that I don’t understand or control all of it, which a big deal for me…

The place were I feel that most, is standing on a beach in Northumberland. There is something about the sky up there and while I suck at being serious and holy in the ‘thin space’ of Lindisfarne (I just want to think about the ‘teeny tiny’ monks) looking out to the sea from the ruins of Dunstanburgh, I feel it.

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So taking what I learnt in June and what I felt over the last week, I’m going to use today’s journey to remember how I want to feel and how I’m going to keep that feeling and use it in the next couple of months (and also eat jelly babies and sing songs with Ma!) .

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Stopgap furniture

Posted on September 10, 2014 by nicdempsey

When I was looking for a place to live 5 years ago, the estate agent asked me what my dream place looked liked. Top of the list was that it was unfurnished. I didn’t want to deal with other people style choices and I had quite a bit of furniture in storage.

Given how much furniture I did own, it was slightly weird that there were so many things I needed to buy.

One of those things was a wardrobe. I had owned a wardrobe but because I didn’t need one when I lived at Sarah’s and Craig did when he moved into his new flat, lending him the wardrobe until he got one he really wanted seemed like the thing to do. What I didn’t realise was that our friendship was going to crash and burn and that he would decide never to talk to me again. Along with the friendship went the wardrobe, a couple of books and some other stuff, most of which I really don’t miss, but the wardrobe would have been handy!

As a stopgap measure I bought one of those canvas and wood wardrobes from Argos. In my plan, it wasn’t going to be there long, I was going to sort out the bedroom, it’s a great room but it’s awkwardly shaped and the bed and other furniture were bought for different bedrooms with different requirements.

 

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This is the one picture I have of the horror that was that wardrobe! It was not pretty and five years on, only remained upright because of the judicious use of shoeboxes wedged against a chest of drawers.

It was time to buy a wardrobe. I had a plan. I was going to buy a corner wardrobe that would be the first step on my grand bedroom furniture re-design. I’d measured the space. I’d dismantled the old wardrobe, cleared out a lot of stuff, I conned poor Mike into coming over to help me put the thing up.

People plan, God laughes. The one thing I hadn’t given too much thought about was getting the wardrobes to my house, Ma had hired a car, we’d go to IKEA and pick them up. Except that one look at the car convinced me that it wasn’t going to work, the car was too short.

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Plan B. Go to Ikea, find another stopgap solution. Re-evaluate bedroom furniture issue. Save some more money to implement new plan. Meanwhile be grateful that the new stopgap wardrobe won’t fall on your head and that you’ve managed to donate 3 bags of clothes and two hats, that you weren’t wearing to the charity shop.  Also on the gratitude list that your mother didn’t punch you when you were all PMT’d up and throwing things because of  the stupid IKEA instructions for assembling the new stopgap.

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Oh and patch the hole you managed to create in the throwing of said things.

 

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Hubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble

Posted on September 8, 2014 by nicdempsey

This year, along with the cocktail cherries, I made cherry brandy. It’s still steeping away but having made that I didn’t stop there. I’ve also had a go at raspberry and plum gins. Although there’s no actual hubble or bubble, it’s still seems like a witchy thing to do, leaving fruit to seep in alcohol and making something altogether different.

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They are all pretty simple to make and will be ready for Christmas. My plan is to decant into miniature bottles and box up all three as a ‘set’  for Christmas presents. If you look up fruit gins on the web, you’ll see loads of recipes.

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The general consensus for cherry brandy seemed to be a litre of alcohol, 1 kg of cherries and 300g of sugar. It’s steeping nicely and it’s good but if I had a criticism it’s that it’s a bit sweet. So I knew that with both of these I wanted to use less sugar. My original plan was to use gin for the raspberries and vodka for the plums. Although the consensus is to use cheap alcohol and I will confess that the brandy I used for the cherry was half Waitrose’s 3 Year Old stuff  and half Lairds Applejack (which is probably why it’s tasting a bit sweet). I know nothing about vodka and have no idea about what represents good value in cheap vodka, but the Bombay Dry Gin, which I quite like and is much better than the Bombay Saphire, was on special offer and cheaper than the same amount of Sainsburys Own Brand Vodka. I opted to use that for the plums. In retrospect, I feel I should have gone for my usual choice of ‘cheap’ gin – Beefeater, because I like it and the alcohol by volume is 40% not 37.5% as the Bombay is (I presume to keep the price down, as it used to be 40% abv).

I ended up using a litre of gin to a kilo of plums and 200g of sugar. I’m going to leave that for 3 months so I’ll strain and bottle it in November which will give it a while to mature before Christmas. DSCF4777

There is more riding on the raspberry gin, my friend Jonny makes really good raspberry gin from his allotment raspberries and the first year he made it, I tasted it, told him it was good but that he shouldn’t ever use Gordons for this ’cause of the ABV.  I was considering Tanqueray (also on special offer) or Beefeater for this  but decided to use the glut of Plymouth that I had in my cupboard (I bought a bottle on special offer a while ago, forgetting that I already had a bottle in the cupboard!) because it’s my trusty gin staple and everyone knows how much I love it! To make this I ended up using less sugar because the gin isn’t going to steep for very long. According to Jared Brown, no more than two weeks. So I’m going to decant when I get home from holiday.

So a litre of gin, 500g raspberries and 100g sugar.

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I’ll update you on them as I decant them and if there’s time and I can pick them, there may be a small batch of blackberry gin too!

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Friday Links

Posted on September 5, 2014 by nicdempsey

Happy Friday, this week was busy and social and although I’m mentally ready for a holiday, in terms of actually being ready, I’m not sure! Here are this week’s links…

1) As I’m heading up North today (nearly to Scotland) I found this, about how the independence debate is changing attitudes, interesting.

2) Whatever happens in Scotland there does need to be some change in English governance. My solution would be to devolve the English government (putting it’s authority somewhere north of London, Birmingham is right in the middle of the country, and make Westminster a federal government. That way some of the regions will get more of a say and more attention. I love my city but we need to address the issues of investment elsewhere in the country, the lack of balance isn’t good for London or the rest of the country.

3) Barbara Ellen on how childless women are seen as less. The debate in the comments is truly appalling and devolves into fighting. The problem as I see it is that being single and childless seems to mean that I count less. I pay more council tax than a couple but use less services, my cost of living is a higher proportion of my salary. I don’t really mind that I’ll pay more in taxes than I’ll ever get out of the system because that’s what societies should do. I do mind that all political debate and policies seem to be aimed at ‘hardworking families’, because I work hard and I’m part of society and it would be nice for my contribution to be acknowledged. If political debate is biased, socially it’s even worse.

4) Finally some creative thinking about housing. And shame on Labour central office for not doing anything as interesting.

5) Israel and Russia are doing the same thing but the US only imposes sanctions on one of them. This.

6) I’ve been saying this about the ‘privatisation’ of the trains in the UK for years!

Imagine having a landlord who did up your flat, chucked in a wetroom and some top-of-the-range white goods – then reduced your rent, so that he was really paying you to live there. You have just dreamed up Britain’s privatised rail network. Except it’s not all that private. Instead, you could call it the Great British Rake-Off: the state makes the investment; the train firms and their shareholders rake off the cash. And if the sums don’t work out, an operator can do the business equivalent of binning a runny baked Alaska by walking away – just as GNER did with the east coast main line

7) People who refuse to sell to developers. This turns into the story of Edie Macefield and it’s fascinating.

8) Holidays and what to do with your sourdough starter. Mine gets fed and put in fridge, so far I’ve never had an issue, but I’m pretty laid back about it and have rescued it from oblivion more times than I’d care to admit.

 

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What I’d Tell You

Posted on September 4, 2014 by nicdempsey

If we were out for drinks or coffee and you asked what was happening with me right now, this is what I’d tell you….

My week has been fuelled by coffee, berocca and mild (not really mild at all) panic about how much there is to do before I go away and yes I do realise that this has made me significantly less fun to be around this week.

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Because work has been so busy, I’ve been leaving the house by 7.15am and leaving work somewhere between 6pm and 7pm, I don’t much care for the hours but being in the office before 8.30am has been good and I think that I’ll try to get into the habit again.

I’ll also tell you how happy I am that we’re getting a third person in the team and that the person we’re getting is the person I used as the model of what we need. Sometimes things just work and I’m so pleased that we have the right person and that they are excited about working with us. I’ll also tell you that the whole having to step up and manage a team without actually being their manager is going to be a stretch but it’s what my manager wants me to do and it’s a good stretch for my work brain!

While we were talking about work, I’d tell you that I really loathe mardy* people but I especially loathe it when it’s in a office setting because work is not the place for mardy-ness and yes I have been dealing with someone acting like this all week. Also isn’t mardy a good word.

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I’d tell you how much I’m looking forward to tomorrow and our holiday. I’d tell you that there are very few people I would happily be in a car with for 7 ish hours but Ma is one of them.

I’d tell you about how much I’m looking forward to old castles, big sky and Barter Books

It won't be this sunny but I don't really care...

It won’t be this sunny but I don’t really care…

I’d also tell you about the various children running around the edges of my life. That Oli is starting school next week, that the twins went back to school yesterday and are not happy about it! That I babysat for Kathy and Adam’s two on Saturday and got kissed goodnight (there are reasons that this is a big deal and it’s more than I get from Oli!). Also how strange it is, that combination of sad and right that they are all growing up and getting big and turning into themselves. It’s a privilege to watch them (and watch over them as needed) but it really makes me aware of time passing and I now I get how our parents feel about us!

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Which would lead neatly on to Ryan because he’s all grown up (well as much as he’s going to be) but part of me can’t shake the feeling that he’s actually still little. We had coffee on Saturday because I basically ambushed him at work (he works in Ealing so it’s easy to do) and that’s probably the most effective way of getting to see him.

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Then exhausted by the effort of talking for so long, I’d probably fall asleep because I tons of fun to be around at the moment!

What would you tell me?

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*Mardy is a word that I get from my mum who got it from her mum, it’s a midlands/yorkshire word for and used for people who are (this is what wiki says) awkward; uncooperative; bad tempered; whiny; aloof; stroppy, moody, miserable or sulking like a small child.

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Frustration

Posted on September 2, 2014 by nicdempsey

You know now I said at the weekend that the key to surviving this week was going to be organisation and that meant a busy weekend. Well I didn’t get things done on the weekend, there was an incident with a bottle of leaking weedkiller, that lead to a massive coughing fit that required my inhaler and then a while later me being very sick.

So Sunday’s to do list was cancelled and I feel pretty awful back to feeling like someone is stepping on my chest. Work is still too busy and I know that I have lots to do but I’m slowed down because I can’t think straight. So yesterday, I was in at 8.20am and I left at 6.40pm, came home, ate dinner, did the ironing that didn’t get done on the weekend and went to bed. I have three more days in the office and I’m not really expecting to enjoy them but it’s only three days.

I am frustrated, I was beginning to feel in control and now with a head full of things to do, limited time and a cough, control seems like a distant dream.

So good things, it’s only three more days, then I’ll be here or at least on the way to here and I won’t care….

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Food this week

Posted on September 1, 2014 by nicdempsey

It’s the 1st of September. Which means a couple of things, schools go back this week, summer is over and I’m going on holiday in 5 days! Food planning goes until Thursday and will be largely dedicated to using things up.

Breakfast

Monday to Thursday will be smoothies because I notice there were a couple of freezer packs left from the summer. Friday will be pain au raisin and coffee.

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Lunch

I’m counting on leftovers and soup!

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Dinners

I’m out on Thursday night for Kathy’s birthday dinner and I’m on pudding duties which I’m thinking will probably be Lime Mascarpone Cheesecake, which is good to eat and easy to make and is due a post here. That’s three nights to plan so dahl, frittata and the rice thing I had last week.

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I will probably end up making frittata and ‘chuck it all in soup’ and maybe quick pickled carrots to use up any vegetables left hanging around the fridge before I go away, the frittata comes with us (to supplement the jelly babies, which are essential to any long car trip with Ma), the carrots stay in the fridge and soup goes in the freezer for the week I’m back!

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Sunday Music

Posted on August 31, 2014 by nicdempsey

Work has been stressy over the last couple of weeks and the only reason I didn’t commit some of the violence I’ve been wishing on certain people in the office is fear of prison! So this seemed apt!

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Return of the lists…

Posted on August 30, 2014 by nicdempsey

I really don’t know how I do this to myself. Work has been fairly non stop since my birthday. There’s a really fine line between being busy enough to keep me occupied and being too busy and feeling scattered and out of control. At some point in the last two weeks, I crossed from the former to the latter because right now, I just feel like everything is going wrong and I can’t get anything right and I’m running on a mix of panic and coffee.

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I know that this is a distortion, things are not going horribly wrong all the time but it has been a week of things not going entirely right. There were no actually disasters, no-one died, no-one is homeless or jobless and everybody still has all their wits and limbs. It’s just annoying and magnified because I’m feeling hassled.

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The cure to this feeling is to be as organised as I can be and to take a deep breath. So this weekend needs to be about making sure I am. I started the process on Friday night opting not to go for a drink but to go home and do some housework and have an early night. This morning, I got up early and did yoga before I left the house. I’m having my haircut this morning and babysitting for Kathy and Adam this evening. It’s also time for the return of the housework list!

Kitchen

  • General clean (sort out the recycling and rubbish, mopping the floor and general cleaning)

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Cooking

  • Food prep for next week.
  • Make bread
  • Make pizza dough
  • Cook chickpeas

Bathroom

  • General clean (mop floor, change towels, empty bin, clean bath, sink and toilet)

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Bedroom

  • General clean (sweep floor, change bed, dust, general tidy)

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Living Room

  • General clean (sweep floor, dust, tidy sofa, put things away etc)

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Hall

  • Hoover

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General things

  • Menu plan
  • Shopping
    • Food
    • Monthly toiletries shop
    • Buy stamps and birthday cards
    • Return top that was bought weeks ago and that I will never wear
  • Washing (clothes wash, white wash, towel wash)
  • Ironing
  • Wash make up brushes
  • Wash hair brushes
  • Water plants
  • Back up laptop
  • Charge kindle, ipad and camera batteries
  • Handwashing
  • Put tent in the loft
  • Get out suitcase, make a packing list
  • Small clear out of the cupboard
  • Sort out some new music for holiday!
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Friday Links

Posted on August 29, 2014 by nicdempsey

Happy Friday, it’s been a very stressy four day week and I’m so pleased I’ve got to Friday with my sanity more or less intact!

1) This profile of Robert Lustig and his war on sugar, was really interesting.

2) Why Khalid Sheikh Mohammed’s lawyer is leaving the defense team—and the Army. Really you need to think hard when your own people are telling you it’s wrong. I don’t think this is just a US problem though, the UK system is probably full of similar examples.

3) 40-somethings and house sharing. All I have to say is no. Not because you should have your shit together at 40 but because the idea of sharing a house with a bunch of people gives me hives. Yes this is probably why I’m still single…

4) Suzanne Moore on the Rotherham scandal and all the other abuse scandals. One of the things I found hardest to understand about this (and Rochdale) is where the parents were. I know about the parents who went to police and were turned away and the parents who went to get their girls out of the abuser’s home and were arrested. I just can’t imagine a world were my mother didn’t know where I was when I was 13, where it wasn’t clear to me that grown men having any sort of sexual relationship with me at 13 was wrong, where if I had been raped and threatened my entire bloody family wouldn’t have raised merry hell. I think it’s a failure in me that because I don’t understand how this could have happened and because of that, I do understand how it could have been ignored. It’s really difficult to help children who’ve been abused. They are not meek and easy to help, they may have started off like that but by the time they are drinking and taking drugs and acting up and being mouthy, it’s difficult to help them change their behaviour and opinion of themselves. So it’s easier to blame them. And when it all comes out, it’s easier to blame the families for not doing enough or the social workers for not protecting them. Here’s the hard, cold truth, protecting children in these circumstances is really hard and very expensive. This is a problem with society and our inability to face hard things and pay to make them right and until we are prepared to do it, without screaming about racism or family breakdown or finding anyone to blame but ourselves, abuse like this will keep happening.

5) British embassy sparks angry tweets. I thought it was funny, they just don’t like it that they lost! (having to sue for peace = losing, especially as they started it!). And they killed Ned Pakenham, Harry Smith survived though, that man was lucky and he was horrified by the burning of Washington!

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