It was rainy and horrible yesterday and this popped up on shuffle, and I was wishing I was indoors and warm and dry, not out in the rain waiting for the bus. Also, I’d rather read than go for a walk generally!
It was rainy and horrible yesterday and this popped up on shuffle, and I was wishing I was indoors and warm and dry, not out in the rain waiting for the bus. Also, I’d rather read than go for a walk generally!
I spent a lot December reflecting on my year. You can see the Advent posts here, here and here and you can see how I felt I did with my 2015 goals here.
It’s easy to get caught up in January in setting unrealistic goals and there’s loads of advice out there talking about how to set realistic goals or about setting them at time when they are easier to stick to than January, which along with November is an unsweetened rice pudding of a month!
I get all of that but I’m a firm believer in setting goals and trying to learn from the missed AND achieved goals. I find that the review process teaches me about the difference between what I think I should care about and what I actually care about and helps me understand how to live with that difference. All that to say that I am setting goals this year and I will try to maintain a monthly recap about how I’m doing but I’m not going to beat myself up, if that doesn’t happen. Last year, splitting the goals up into categories really helped but I think I tried too hard to have concrete SMART goals and didn’t pay enough attention to the emotion or feeling that I was trying to get to with the goal, so this year will be more of a hybrid and some of the goals will go across categories. So, if you’re still reading this, I apologise for the wordiness that is about to hit you.
HOME
I love my living space and I want to continue to feel as comfortable in it as I do now but I want to love it a bit more too, some of it needs some attention.
FINANCE
I’ve written extensively about this but it’s worth a brief recap. Money is a big control trigger for me (I have a thing about control it’s going to come up a lot this year!). For years, my finances have been like maths, mention it and the shutters come down as I panic about my lack of ability to deal with it. It’s a place where I apply emotion, most often fear, where emotion is not useful or necessary. So this year, I want not to be fearful about my finances or financial situation, I want to be in control. This is going to break down into goals like this:
BODY AND MIND
Home and finance all contribute to how I feel about myself but the focus of this category is on health, exercise, mental well being and ease of living.
Word for the year
This year has been harder and easier to pick a word. If there’s a theme this year, it’s about being true to myself without stepping on others. So the word that I chose straight away was authentic. This year, I want to work on honesty being who I am, which means being open with others about where I am and knowing my value, I know that the whole world doesn’t revolve around me but I am worth the time and attention of the people in my life, in 2015, I didn’t own that and this year I’m going to.
Happy New Year, Happy Friday and so on…
David Cameron’s Britain is profoundly unchristian. That Christmas message is the best example of rank hypocrisy I have come across.
Given that the north of the country is mostly underwater at the moment, this seems like a good time to re-post this article from last year. Drowning in money: the untold story of the crazy public spending that makes flooding inevitable
This review of Sexy Fish. It’s just perfect, the restaurant, not so much….
January
Strasbourg
Ms T
More Ms T!
February
Team building cocktails
A walk
Coffee, getting me through the month!
March
Being really ill
Warm enough for flip flops
New glasses
April
Sunny Days
Easter with the family
Martini time
May
Election
Helping at the food bank
June
Flying visit from John
Quiet time
New washing machine
July
Fierce nephew
Flicky fringe
Hospital
August
Birthday Advice
Birthday slides
Wedding
September
Nephew no. two
Cake making
October
Family Time
Operation
Jelly Babies
November
Recovery
View from the sofa
Birthday boy
December
Birthday Mum
Back to Work
Haircut
I think that basically sums up the year!
I fell into a book slump at the beginning of December, I think going back to work was just so tiring, I just didn’t have the energy. Eventually, I just read a bunch of easy to read romance and that restored my reading ways!
The Last Kingdom – Bernard Cornwall (library e-book)
The Pale Horseman – Bernard Cornwall (library e-book)
I have a vague recollection of reading The Last Kingdom years ago, I’d been watching it on the TV and so thought I’d read these two which the series is based on. Bernard Cornwall is just so readable and at some point, I’ll be catching up on the others (I think there are 9!)
Getting to the Church On Time: a Sapphire Falls novella – Erin Nichols (borrowed)
I’m a completist, don’t start with this one but if you’ve read the others, this is a lovely finish (I assume that’s it!). This was the start of me climbing out of the slump…
Secrets of a Scandalous Heiress – Theresa Romain (borrowed)
Again lots of handwaving required but I liked that both hero and heroine were on the edge of respectability, her because she was a heiress and vulgar, he because of birth and Indian descent (also props to pointing out Lord Liverpool’s origins!). I liked the realisation that both had that everyone suffers and the recitation of things about their situation was good. It felt like both characters grew and that it was the growth that allowed them to be together.
When the Duke was Wicked – Lorraine Heath (library e-book)
I read this in an evening, so it wasn’t awful but when I was reading it I was clear that the author was an American, (actually I looked her up and she was born in Watford and raised in Texas) because the language was wrong and I felt beaten over the head with references to ‘Bertie’ and the ‘Marlborough House set’ with clumsy explanations that ‘Bertie’ was the Duke of Wales and the characters kept referring to other gentleman as ‘gents’ and no, no, no. I found myself wishing that she’d set this in America which would make the extreme social mobility and freedom given to the heroine in this story more believable (or maybe I would be able to handwave it away better) but this is supposed to be 1872 and it was a bit jarring. It’s a bit like Grace Burrowes historicals, sometimes it’s fine and I can suspend disbelief and sometimes I just can’t. And I struggled with this one, especially the constant use of ‘gent’. It’s one of those tiny US/UK language differences, I get that to American ears it sounds English and it does but it’s working class cor’ blimey Victorian English not upper class aristocratic English and it jarred, really jarred. Having said that I read it in an evening, instead of making mince pies and marking the ending of December’s slump so there’s that.
Tremaine’s True Love – Grace Burrowes (library e-book)
Burrowes is rapidly becoming an easy comfort read, when I want something new but can’t engage my brain. Don’t read them if historical inaccuracies drive you insane but if you need something undemanding she’s great, she’s also prolific so there’s always new ones to read.
Christmas week!
I didn’t shop on the 19th because I had so much food left over from last week, we were in Watford at the weekend babysitting the nephews and I knew that Ma and I would get the final things for Christmas dinner on the 23rd, so I just went with what I had. The only thing I did need to buy was more coffee, Ma is a coffee hog and in November and December I went through 3 packets of coffee. Our current favourite is the M&S Rwandan coffee so I bought that and the rest of money from this week’s food budget went into that shop.
I spent £12.25 in Sainsburys and Ma spent £17 in Lidl (we had already bought the booze and the meat…). There was so much food…
I only really had Monday to Wednesday to feed myself and it consisted of food from the freezer, egg sandwiches and stir fries…
Ma and I are creatures of habit so I knew what we were eating over Christmas.
Christmas Eve dinner is Fish Pie (which we buy – I’ve never made a fish pie in my life!) and peas.
Christmas Day is smoked salmon sandwiches in the afternoon
and roast beef, roast potatoes, roast parsnips, brussels sprouts and yorkshire puddings for dinner. 
This was the last week of budget (I got paid on Christmas Eve) and because it’s the first month of the new budget plan, I thought that I’d talk a bit about how it went. In summary, really well, I was happy with the amount of food I bought and ate, going forward I need to incorporate healthy protein into the plan because cheese is delicious but not necessarily healthy in the quantities I would like to eat it! (Having said that, there is a cheese mountain in my fridge right now even though I sent Ma home with half of it!) Looking back, I was surprised that some weeks, there seemed to be loads of food and others not so much and realised that entertaining seemed to be the key factor here, which makes total sense but I didn’t realise the impact it would have. I will also need to be more organised in how I use my freezer but I’m pleased with the plan so far and am looking forward to seeing how it plays out in January, which confusingly started on 26 December!
At the beginning of 2015, I set some goals. Because missing or deciding not to complete goals is as important in understanding yourself as achieving them, this is the recap of the goals and how I feel it went.
BODY
This was a partial success. The gym going was great when I was feeling well and rubbish when I was sick and I was full of cold/cough and chest infection quite a bit this year. The yoga was sporadic for the same reason. There was definitely something going on with my gym attendance around embarrassment and shame. I was doing really well and then the routine changed and I couldn’t ‘get it’ and I felt fat and clumsy and all of a sudden there were lots of work people at those classes and I didn’t want to go. Which wasn’t good and I need to work on how to overcome that issue.
I managed the yoga for 50% of the year and once the foot is better, I want to make that consistent because it helped me relax AND it helped my knees!
There were other non goal successes this year, I increased my walking (thanks to the Fitbit I got as a Christmas present!), and I’d like to take that into 2016 because that had the most positive impact on my mental and physical health. I was so happy when I got a well done from the consultant on my walking before my osteotomy because he was impressed at how much I was able to do with my gimpy foot. I think it also had a lot to do with my low blood pressure and more cheerful demeanour at the end of the year.
HOME
I did well on this one. I bought 11 books this year, I borrowed books from friends and used the library more, I learnt patience and waited for books that I wanted to read. What I didn’t do was make as much of a dent on the TBR pile as I wanted, but there’s always next year.
Again a partial success, the house is tidy, I’ve even cleaned the oven a couple of times and I did have a massive declutter of my wardrobe but I can’t say I’ve had a massive declutter Marie Kondo style! It’s a work in progress but I like the space I live in, it works for me and it reflects who I am more than any space I’ve lived in, often this year I made the choice just to be in the space and enjoy it rather than clean it and I’m ok with that!
SPIRIT
The word for the year was peaceful which I described like this
It also means feeling calm and secure and content and trusting and joyous about God’s plan for my life and it’s also the place where I accept that I don’t understand or control all of it, which a big deal for me..
I feel that this year has been peaceful. I feel good about where I am and where I’m headed and I feel that I’ve got the balance between what I need to change and learning to live with what I can’t.
So 2015 is done. Time to think about 2016.
I think this is my favourite Christmas carol, Hark, the Herald Angels Sing
Who is reading blog posts on Christmas Day? Go and do something that fills you with joy. Whether that’s presents, family time, drinking before noon, yummy food or chocolate for breakfast or just a day alone with the radio/TV/a good book.
This morning, I’m getting a huge amount of pleasure from my lovely tree that went up last night…
This is something of a tradition. It’s the end of every Christmas CD that I make and would be in consideration for one of my Desert Island Discs..