Friday Links

Posted on October 7, 2016 by nicdempsey

Happy Friday!  I have limped through the week and am ready for if not a rest (we have the boys on Saturday!) then at least a change of pace! Here are this week’s links

This is about what happens after violence and the choice to forgive. It was hard to read but this is the best example of how faith isn’t easy but is worth it.

Christ Stoltzfus recalled the shock of the day 10 years ago when he, like the Fishers, had to deal with the news that one of his daughters was dead and one wounded. He too chose to forgive.

“But you see,” he said, “it’s a journey. I still made that immediate choice in principle. But it took me a few years until I could feel that I really meant it inside me, to forgive Charlie.”

How often should a reasonable person wash their bra? Now you know!

Why I love my polytunnel. A small polytunnel is on the allotment wish list for year 2, but I need a shed first!

This is about what is going on in the US at the moment but is, I think, applicable here too.

An easy guide to writing the great American novel. 

This on British values is spot on.

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What I’ve Read – September 2016

Posted on October 5, 2016 by nicdempsey

Hadrian: Lord of Hope – Grace Burrowes (free)

Daniel’s True Desire – Grace Burrowes (library e-book)

Grace Burrowes is one of those authors that are easy reading for me although some books are better than others. I’ve already noted that if historical accuracy is important then Burrowes is not the author for you but I’m mostly able to switch my brain off to the modern sensibility of the books and the stuff that’s just wrong culturally. Both of these books are about men who are vicars and then not, one with a calling and one not. Anyway, I don’t think too deeply about them and that’s fine.

Playing It Cool – Amy Andrews (borrowed)

A friend had this and I borrowed, it was good while I was reading it, I felt maybe it needed some more room. I wanted to know more about the rest of the hero/heroine’s life. It was good, it just felt hurried.

Radio Silence – Alyssa Cole (borrowed)

Signal Boost – Alyssa Cole (borrowed)

Mixed Signals – Alyssa Cole (borrowed)

Borrowed from the same friend. I was reading these when my power went out, which was eerie! I enjoyed them, I liked that through the book you see that the world doesn’t get better instantly, the put me in mind of Susan Beth Pfeffer books, but with more romance and diversity.

The Year of the Crocodile – Courtney Milan (free)

I really liked this. It’s Courtney Milan, of course I did! I love Adam and I think I sort of know where this is headed but lets see.

Once Upon A Marquess – Courtney Milan (bought)

So from that to this. I loved the way the heroine had held everything together, I didn’t love the way she assumed she knew best without actually talking to her siblings, although that seemed to have been a family trait. Milan is dicking about with the real timeline her, which I am more than happy for here to do, her notes after the book are a thing of beauty and joy and the whole riff about punishment bread is hilarious.

Her Every Wish – Courtney Milan (bought)

This is a less light-hearted novella in the same universe. I enjoyed this more, if that was possible.

My True Love Gave to Me – Stephanie Perkins (borrowed)

I actually bought this for H at Christmas. It’s an anthology of short stories set around Christmas and H enjoyed it enough to give it to me to read! I devoured it and asked to borrow the next one….

Summer Days and Summer Nights – Stephanie Perkins (borrowed)

…set in Summer and I enjoyed that as well.

The Fifteenth Minute – Sarina Bowen (bought)

I liked this, all of the new adult college books have a air of unreality about them. Famous child movie star, check. But I liked the ‘issue’ of the book, that when the procedures for dealing with accusations of sexual assault are botched, it does a disservice to both parties and that sex in your late teens and early twenties is fraught with assumptions, mis-communication and sometimes, guilt.

Rookie Move – Sarina Bowen (borrowed)

This felt like an attempt to bring people from one series, into another and it was sort of successful. I don’t think that it handled the transition as well as it could. The hero and heroine felt sketched rather than finely drawn.

Sleepless in Manhattan – Sarah Morgan (present)

I like Sarah Morgan and am happy to read anything she writes. I liked this, I thought that the hero needed therapy and glad they had a happy ending.

Sunset In Central Park – Sarah Morgan (present)

Moving to this one, the heroine needed therapy, get over it for crying out loud. Still I read it in a day!

The Goal – Elle Kennedy (bought)

I loved this series and am sad to see it end. I’m generally not keen on secret relationships and accidental baby stories but I liked Tuck and Sabrina although he was a bit too perfect and she needed to learn to use her words. Nice last book, parenthood isn’t that easy!

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Food and Budget Update: 24/09 to 30/09/2016

Posted on October 4, 2016 by nicdempsey

So I’m nine months into this. It’s sort of become second nature to keep to £15 a week, although I have gone over a couple of times. So this week was marked by my being really tired and while I was hungry and I planned my food during the day pretty well, the evenings weren’t as organised, it’s like I run out of the ability to make decisions after 3pm! This week I was also really bad about taking photos of my food!

SHOPPING 

 I had a massive craving for a fishfinger sandwich so bread and fishfingers were required, fishfingers are amazing! Shopping came to £9.01 over Lidl and Sainsburys. There were tomatoes, courgettes, salad leaves (the last of the salad leaves) and runner beans from the allotment, plus two baby carrots. Ma and I halved the salad (after it had been washed and de-slugged!), she took the runner beans and the courgettes. I kept the tomatoes Ma didn’t munch!

COOKING AND EATING  

Saturday morning we ate leftover pizza for breakfast and lunch was that fishfinger sandwich, because we ate that about 5.30pm, I didn’t get around to eating anything else on Saturday nightimg_5001

On Sunday, I ate a yoghurt and half a pain au raisin for breakfast then a cheese and cucumber sandwich eaten after I finished with the half marathon volunteering and before the allotment society meeting.

For dinner, I had macaroni cheese. Americans would call this stovetop mac and cheese. I call it the only way I know how to make it (make a cheese sauce, add cooked pasta) if I had been less tired, I would have put it in a dish, added cheese and breadcrumbs and put it in the oven but that was too much effort so I just ate it like that. It was amazing and was lunch (with a green salad) on Monday.

On Monday I felt really good about my food prep. Rhubarb compote and yoghurt, a pear, vegetables and a dip, leftovers and salad. That was great but by the time I got home on Monday night, I was done. So dinner was dip, tortillas and more vegetables because cooking was not something I was capable of doing on Monday night.

Tuesday I packed rhubarb compote and yoghurt, a pear, vegetables and a dip so basically breakfast and snacks but had a lunch meeting. So it was work sandwiches all the way. For dinner I had roasted courgette, onion and tomatoes with potatoes and mackerel. This was also lunch on Wednesday!img_5019Wednesday night I sauted leftover potatoes with courgette and mushrooms. Those leftovers were lunch on Thursday!img_5020Tom came to dinner on Thursday, so I made meatballs which we ate with pasta, garlic bread and salad. I didn’t take a photo of it but I’ve made it before with rice so just replace the rice in this picture with pasta and Ma with Tom!img_4807

On Friday, I ate leftover meatballs and pasta and a rock bun! No dinner because there was just too much coughing going on!

 

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Life Happened: Into October

Posted on October 3, 2016 by nicdempsey

I went from a busy weekend to a busy week. For most people, or even my 20-something self, this wasn’t a busy week but migraine fortnight was upon me and it seemed like there was a lot to do. I was also still coughing, which is both tiring and annoying,

So on Tuesday night, I went to my first ever Neighbourhood Watch meeting. This is what having an allotment has done for me! I went because none of the Allotment Committee could go and talk about the planned development or last Sunday’s meeting and because I live on the road, I got asked to go instead. I hadn’t realised the issues that residents at the top of the road suffer from (the end I live at is much more peaceful) and it was nice to put names to the faces of people I see on the street, I have been living in the road for 7 years now!IMG_3726

On Wednesday, I was back at the doctors, it feels like I live there sometimes, to talk migraines and coughing! I have new migraine drugs and an appointment with the nurse to talk about asthma the week after next. It seems that my family’s chest issues have caught up with me which became really obvious over the weekend.

On Thursday, I did actual entertaining and Tom came to dinner. It was good to see him.

Because I knew I was heading into a busy weekend, I took a half day off and noodled about on the allotment, I got the tank full of nasty water emptied and moved and did some weeding. Ma weeded the top end, the battle against weeds is neverending!img_4972I was due for the volunteer morning at the allotment on Saturday morning and then dinner at Christelle and Mike’s. However, on Friday night I could not stop coughing. For about 5 hours. It was horrible and pretty much torpedoed the weekend, I spent all of Saturday feeling that someone was standing on my chest and decided that a quiet weekend was in order. It was the sensible thing but I don’t feel much better and I didn’t see anyone this weekend! I have a week to get through and hopefully, my appointment with the nurse will give me some answers and a possible solution because this is really not fun and I don’t like it.

Fortunately, it’s a quiet week until the weekend, because Ma and I are having the boys on Saturday and as young Joe is walking now I have a feeling that we’ll be busy!

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2016 Goals Recap – September 2016

Posted on October 1, 2016 by nicdempsey

September is always an interesting month, I still can’t shake the back to school vibe of it, especially as it’s always after my birthday month. It’s different this year because I’m also coming to the end of my first growing season, so I’m planning for next year and putting things to bed, while still picking tomatoes and courgettes. Generally, it’s been a busy month and I feel like I haven’t had a lot of time, but I think I’m just adjusting to the darker evenings.

HOME

  • Decoration. In 2016, I need to paint the bathroom, bedroom and living room again. I’d like to tackle the bathroom before June but the other rooms will have to wait until I have full use of my foot again! I haven’t done any of this, I think this is going to have to wait until after the summer because right now, the allotment is where most of my time and money will go.
  • De-clutter. I want to have another clear out of the cupboard of doom and have a serious look at what’s in the kitchen. Kitchen was done in January and the cupboard of doom is more tidy than I thought my current plan is do this when I have a week off in August, because one of things I really need to do is sort out some more suitable storage for things like the spare duvets etc
  • Deep cleaning. I will assign a weekend every three months to deep clean the flat. In this weekend I will scrub the floors, clean the oven and windows and all that stuff I’m not good at remembering to do! This is going well, the flat is tidy and at time of writing I have a clean oven, defrosted fridge, clean windows and floors!

Little Goals

Chest of drawers clear out. I didn’t get to this, I have thrown some stuff away but not done a proper sort out.

Clean the oven. It got a wipe down but not a proper clean

 

DSCF5044FINANCE

  • Tracking. I’ve been using a spreadsheet, that Ma (the queen of the spreadsheets!) helped me set up. It tracks what goes in and out of my bank account and what’s left. It also helps me plan for the year. In 2016, I will be consistent about using it. I’m totally on the tracking thing. Still there, I still don’t have any money but I know how much money I don’t have!
  • Food Budget. This one is already in play, in 2016 I will set a food budget of £15 a week and I will record my spending and eating on this blog each Tuesday. Any money I don’t spend each week will go into the change jar, which is sealed and won’t be opened until 1st December 2016. This is still happening, I’ve not been planning as well as I was and so I’ll need to get back on track in October. 
  • Overdraft. I have one and I want it gone, so I will pay it off in 2016. My overdraft is still halfway gone and I’m ok with that. It’s been harder to get it down in the second half of the year because my rent went up. I’m going to start trying a bit harder in Sept but I’m not going to be devastated if it doesn’t happen this year.
  • Credit Cards. I won’t use them in 2016. I reserve the right to use them in an emergency but I can’t plan for those… Less success with this target, they have been used, it was sort of a family emergency and I’m not saying anymore than that!

IMG_3249BODY AND MIND

Home and finance all contribute to how I feel about myself but the focus of this category is on health, exercise, mental well being and ease of living.

  •  Walking. Walking more was a game changer for me in 2015 and I want to get back to that, obviously that will depend on how my foot recovery goes. So I need to have small, long term goals for this, a) by the end of March 2016, I would like to be walking either to work from Paddington Station OR from work to Paddington Station, that’s about 35 minutes a day. b) by the end of June 2016 I would like to be walking both ways and getting my 10,000 steps a day. I’m calling this one, it’s not happening (and I lost my fitbit at the allotment!). I will make an effort in the winter to walk to Paddington from work but at the moment, between the allotment and the pollution walking is not happening because I don’t have time and I can’t breathe.
  • Body Balance. I love doing this when I do and my work gym membership resumes in July. So I’d like to go to one class a week in July and August and then resume 2 classes a week from September. This isn’t going to happen. I don’t think my foot is at all up to it and the money for gym membership is for this year going to be used on the allotment. That’s how it goes but I’m shelving Balance and will look at it again in 2017.
  • Yoga. The evening routine is good for me so by the end of February, I want to be doing this at least twice a week. I’ve been hitting this twice a week but need to have a think about doing more or finding a consistent 15 minute routine.
  • Volunteering. I want to start attending the volunteer allotment days in June and this year use the two CSR days work gives me. I’m sure that my Mum can find a use for me either at the foodbank or the homeless project! I volunteered at the Ealing Half Marathon, am doing web content for the EDAS web site and attended my first Neighbourhood Watch Meeting this week. I’m looking after nephews this weekend and am booked to have the Baxter children sometime in November. Ma will probably need assistance at the Food Bank after Harvest Festival 
  • Books. The 12 book target was good but restrictive last year, I’m going to give myself a bit more leeway and have 24 books this year. I’ve bought 19 books so far this year (I went a bit crazy in August!)
  • Work Uniform. This year I want to have a work uniform, but not use it as an excuse for buying more stuff. I need to wear office clothes 4 days a week so I will create 6 outfits for work make sure that 4 of them are clean and ready to go for Monday morning. This is still one of the best ideas, I’ve ever had and it works brilliantly for me, although I’ve had to be a bit more creative over the summer as clothes I love (looking at you linen shirts) have got to the great clothes bin in the sky!

 Little Goals for September

Stretching. I have to be honest, I’ve not done this every day consistently. I’ve done it properly about 15 days this month and stretched what hurt when I needed to.

Yoga. I had a goal of twice a week and I absolutely did that. Sundays and Mondays mostly

ALLOTMENTimg_4969

Clear the water filled tank at that top of the allotment, move it next to the other one.

Burn one of the piles of weeds and organise the compost area (yes I have an area, it’s a mess!)

Clear the peas and sweetpeas. Done and bonus taking the frame down.

Put the other raised bed in. Done not filled yet because we haven’t decided what to do with it.

Get shallot sets and garlic bulbs for planting in October. Planted the garlic, foxes dug it up. Bought things to protect it from the foxes.

 

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Friday Links

Posted on September 30, 2016 by nicdempsey

Happy Friday! Well, it’s been a week, while I’m glad to get to the end of it and am looking forward to the weekend, it’s going to be another busy one…

Here are this week’s links…

Austerity and then chicanery: how the Tories target cash-strapped Labour councils. They’ve always done it, it’s not new, it’s still scary.

Giles Fraser on the folly of the Garden Bridge.

“Si monumentum requiris, circumspice” is Wren’s epitaph, in the crypt of St Paul’s. “If you seek his monument, look around.” If this bridge is built, they should erect the same sign for Johnson along its route. For his legacy to London has been to litter it with ego-driven projects, with fancy high-rise glass towers, owned offshore, lights never on. They are his epitaph. Designed to impress but with little to offer the majority of ordinary Londoners. Just like the garden bridge itself.

Lin-Manuel Miranda is clever and seems like a nice guy.

Jeremy Corbyn was re-elected as the leader of the Labour Party this weekend. This just about sums up my view..

Family dinners and ritual. I have to admit I find this slightly hilarious, not because of the ritual, I’m a huge fan of ritual in food, which is why I always cook lamb for Easter and Friday Night Pizza. What is making me laugh is the idea of mothers cooking food that they hope will lure their children home. It’s such a modern invention, my mother cooked because she had too, the last time she cooked for us as a family and cooked something we loved to eat as children (roly-poly and no I have no idea why we called it that. Ma care to comment..) was when her kitchen got replaced at the old flat. Cooking is not why we love her or keep in touch. Nowadays most big family meals happen at my house or restaurants, although I know that Ben and Lu and the boys eat together. But the foods that become special to children happen without us realising it. Oli’s comment about where Aunty Nic’s ‘delicious bread’ was at one family lunch and the way I try and involve Oli in one cooking task when we babysit, which is all about me and what I want Oli to remember about spending time with me. So in my experience, mothers don’t do this, but aunties go nuts with it!!

23 ways you’re making your martini wrong. Also Jared Brown is such a good person to talk to about gin and all other alcohol related stuff, he just knows so much and this quote is lovely…

“I have an enormous advantage, as I spent years tailoring a gin to my own palate – Sipsmith. Drink your way through all the possible choices until you’ve found your favourite, or have reached the same conclusion as me – that Sipsmith is the best.”

And my martinis are 3 parts gin to one part vermouth. I will happily drink drier martinis to the point of Churchill’s wave the glass in the direction of France instructions but this this is my go to. With a twist, not an olive but if you like olives or even onions for a gibson, knock yourself out. Serve me vodka in a martini and we can never be friends, why would you do that to me?

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Kitchen Equipment: Salad Spinner

Posted on September 29, 2016 by nicdempsey

I’m fascinated by what people feel is essential in their kitchens and how that changes as our lives and cooking styles do. I live quite happily without a microwave, something I couldn’t have imagining when I was in my 20’s, and semi happily without a dishwasher or kitchen aid but I couldn’t do without my cast iron pan, or kitchen knives.

I think you can tell a lot about people by what is and is not in their kitchen because this week, I have no food inspiration for you, I’m going to start an occasional series where I’ll talk about how and why I have some of the things I do. 

This has been prompted by a couple of articles floating about on how to live in small spaces or deal with small kitchens. One of the key pieces of advice is to get rid of things that only have one use and/or are bulky, such as a salad spinner. Generally, that’s good advice and up until this summer, I’d have agreed on the salad spinner. It wasn’t a problem that applied to my kitchen anyway, I didn’t have a salad spinner because salad leaves came in bags washed and ready to eat so I wasn’t going to wash it again.img_4631

Then came the allotment. Salad is pretty easy to grow, so I sowed the seeds and it grew and grew and was awesome. What was not awesome, washing the salad. Well, washing it was fine, drying it was impossible. I tried to dry it with tea towels but it wasn’t really effective, so while the leaves tasted great I always had watery dressing and that my friends, is not a good thing.img_5005-1I did drop birthday hints about my need for a salad spinner but my loved ones ignored those hints and bought me whiskey and gin, it would be churlish to moan about that, so I didn’t and bought one myself. I ended up buying this one from Clas Ohlson and hands down it has been the most useful piece of kitchen kit I’ve ever used. With winter coming, I’ll go back to buying it like everyone else but next summer, it’ll be back to being the best piece of kitchen equipment I own and you will tear it from my cold dead hands!

 

 

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Volunteer for Something

Posted on September 28, 2016 by nicdempsey

We tell ourselves stories. Stories about each other, about who we are and what our families and lives are about. These stories are shortcuts. I’ll tell you that I’m the eldest and that my brother is the only Dempsey boy of his generation and that my Dad’s family is sort of Irish. Which is shortcut for I’m the responsible (possibly overlooked) sibling and Ben is the golden balls of our family. B might tell you that I never got in trouble and was good at school and he was the opposite of that, which might be shorthand for I was the favoured child. We’d both be sort of right.

We tell share those stories to show who we are but those stories aren’t the entire picture. Sometimes there are stories we don’t tell others about, they are the stories we show by what we do.img_4844

‘Just get on with it’ is the unofficial motto of our family. We are people who get on and do stuff, even if we don’t want to, even if we also bitch and moan about it (ok that’s mostly just me!).  I was brought up with the firm conviction that we were pretty lucky to be alive, I’m a working class woman, I can vote, read, support (more or less) myself, I survived childhood and live in the first world. Pretty damn lucky.

Alongside that, there was always the mostly unspoken conviction that if you could help, you should. Most of that happened via church. I grew up watching my mother be a eucharistic minister, a catcheist,  a typer of the parish newsletter, a member of the local Justice and Peace group. Now she’s retired, she’s doing it again, the food bank, the homeless organisation she volunteers at, and anything else that comes up. Her take on it is that she has the time, she should do something useful with it.My Granddad was the same. For as long as I can remember, he worked three days a week and was busy for the other two days. He sold the War Cry, was involved in the OAP’s club, which involved days out and also the playgroup. One of the nicest things at his funeral were the flowers the playgroup sent, telling us that he’d be missed.

I’d be missing out half the story if I didn’t point out that faith is a huge part of this attitude.  The Salvation Army is the church that Granddad belonged to and Ma grew up in and it’s work has always been about helping those that society don’t help or value.img_5015All of this contributed to my decision to make volunteering more, one of my goals for the year. It’s also not an entirely altruistic goal, volunteering can be good for the volunteer too. So I’ve been to allotment work days, I’ve babysat for the nephews and the Baxters, I’ve given out water at and tidied up at the Ealing Half Marathon, I’ve also taken on blog content for the Ealing Dean Allotment Society website.

That sense of living too much in my own head and maybe isolating myself that I talked about last year, I’m more on top of it this year. Although, I don’t subscribe to the ‘busy every minute’ school of  life, being busy and having things to do aside from work, has prevented me from spending so much time in my head because I have to use the time for other things!

Have I helped others? I hope so but in addition to that, I’ve increased the number of people that I know where I live, there are people that I talk to more. I’ve also made more of an effort to keep in touch with people. Tom is coming to dinner this week, because the development at the allotments, prompted me to call him, something I’ve been telling myself to do since January and not getting around to doing! Basically, I’ve pulled my head from my backside and looked up a bit more this year. My life is just as difficult as it always was, I’m still sad about the things I’m sad about but I’ve taken the focus off them and put it into other people.

So this is my advice, if you can help, you should, not just for other people but for you too. It’s advice that’s been working for my family for generations!

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Food and Budget Update: 17/09 to 23/09/2016

Posted on September 27, 2016 by nicdempsey

Last week was a busy week and I wasn’t feeling terribly creative in the kitchen. It was a difficult and busy week anyway but I think this is more to do with the decrease in light, the evenings are drawing in and it’s dark earlier. My issues with this are well documented but my lack of energy this week was noticeable in my lack of kitchen imagination. Although it is worth noting that I also made two batches of courgette cake and tried a new recipe so not too shabby!

SHOPPINGimg_4980

I spent £8.57 in Lidl and £3.10 in Sainsburys for a total of £11.67

I went a bit off piste with the shopping adding hummus, tortillas and some yoghurts that I didn’t plan on. The allotment is still pushing out tomatoes, runner beans and courgettes.

WHAT I ATE

Saturday lunch and dinner was cheese and cucumber sandwiches. I don’t think we’ll get any more cucumbers this year but the three we had were awesome and we will be growing them much earlier next year! img_4959Sunday morning breakfast was poached eggs on toast (and a slice of cheese on toast!)img_4964Sunday lunch/dinner was carrots and hummus

Weekday breakfasts were toast and chicken liver pate
Lunches were hummus and veg and a tortilla or leftovers.

Monday night dinner was sweetcorn. Just sweetcorn because I only wanted that!Tuesday night was veg and hummus because I just didn’t have it in me to cook. And Wednesday was rice mixed with courgette caviar and roasted tomatoes.img_4913Thursday night was chickpea and courgette fritters with red onion jam.Friday night was pizza.img_4994

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Life Happened: The only way out is through

Posted on September 26, 2016 by nicdempsey

Honestly the only good thing that can be said about last week was that no-one died. It’s been a week full of petty annoyance. I got knocked off my feet by a guy not looking where he was going, a guy was rude to me because I didn’t get off the pavement to make way for his kid on a bike, there was a power cut at home on Friday morning. Petty annoyance made worse by me, I was tired, it was the beginning of migraine fortnight and I still have the cough that will not die and I’m a bit worried about this being a repeat of 2014’s horror where I essentially had a cold with coughing for three months. Anyway, aside from that, it was busy, not the week, apart from usual stuff you know the full time job and having to be there all day, the work week was pretty normal, the weekend was busy. Knowing it was going to be non-stop, I took Wednesday off to sort things out. Which was partially successful.img_4989Ma came to stay on Friday night so we could get to grip with the weeds on the plot although I think she just wanted to eat pizza! However, it didn’t quite work like that, Saturday was a busy, there was cake drop off, a meeting at Pathways to look at the development proposal, and much chatting. We did get some general allotment work and devising a way to deter the foxes that are intent on digging up my garlic but not quite as much as planned.

Sunday morning dawned stupidly early so I could go and hand out water to runners in the Ealing Half Marathon.I did less handing out and more cleaning up but it was good fun and all finished around 12-ish. In the afternoon, there was a special general meeting of the allotment society to discuss a response to the Pathways plans. The room was packed and it was busy, productive but busy!

My response to the weekend was pretty much this….

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