Top tip

Posted on January 17, 2012 by nicdempsey

Eternal spring onions.

I can’t claim any credit for this one. It comes from Back to Her Roots.

Cut them, put the bottoms in water and they just keep growing. Having them on the side ensures that I use them and don’t let them rot in the fridge.

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Why I don’t own a TV

Posted on January 16, 2012 by nicdempsey

One of the great things about a new job is adjusting to and getting to know new people. So over the last couple of weeks, especially after Christmas, I’ve had the “no I didn’t watch that, I don’t have a TV” and had to explain why not.

So I thought I’d answer some of the questions here.

1) Why not?

When I moved into this flat, I had to move a lot of books and stuff out of storage. It was a big job, the money I had available was limited, so it was a choice between buy a TV and pay for a TV license or pay for two men and a big van to help me move my possessions. I’d been living with my uncle and our viewing tastes were very different, so I didn’t watch a lot of TV. Then I spent 6 weeks at my mum’s and she doesn’t have a TV, so I knew that I could do without one for a while so I picked the removal men!

2) Do you think TV is bad for you?

No, there’s some fantastic TV out there. Ok, so not Celebrity Big Brother and I’m not a great lover of EastEnders but there’s been some amazing stuff this year, Sherlock, The Hour, Spiral, The Fades…the list goes on..

3) What does all your furniture point at?

That middle of the room. See below

4) Will you ever get a TV?

At this stage in the game, probably not, there are many other things I would like in this flat that I would prioritise over having a TV, like a new wardrobe and a kitchen aid for example!!

5) How do you know what’s happening in the world if you never watch the News?

The short answer is Radio 4! The longer answer is newspapers, the radio, the internet and sometimes Twitter!

6) Do you miss it?

No. I live in the age of DVD’s, BBC iPlayer and iTunes, so I can still watch TV shows that I want to watch. The advantage being that I get to be more selective and hopefully watch better TV (though I should confess that I am quite taken with The Vampire Diaries). Although I think that’s a trend generally and doesn’t just apply to the way I watch TV.  The only time I really missed it was during the World Cup, football on the radio is not the same.

7) Do you find that you get more done because you’re not watching TV?

Sometimes. Not the weekend I got The Wire boxset but I have found since being back at work, when I get home from work and/or the gym, by the time, I’ve eaten, cleared up, made tomorrow’s lunch and sorted out the various things I need to do (rubbish, ironing, cleaning, talking to Ma, mindless wondering around the internet, checking Twitter etc) it’s almost time for bed and I just read until bedtime. Remembering back to when I did have a TV, it’s less likely that I’ll come home and just sit around in front of the box, but I am the world’s laziest person though and I don’t need a TV to ensure that I sit around doing nothing all evening, I can do that with books or the internet!

8) Is it fair that you watch TV on BBC iPlayer and don’t pay for a TV license?

Probably not. The current rules state that if you don’t have a TV license, you can’t watch live television. I’m pretty law abiding and stick to that rule. So I can’t watch Sherlock as it is being broadcast, I have to wait until later. iPlayer did have a helpful little screen that popped up and reminded you if you clicked on something that was still being broadcast. (I just checked and that seems not to be there now, which is a shame). However, I’d be ok with paying a form of license fee for the radio and iPlayer if it came to that, but as it is, I’m obeying the law and I do pay tax, which also funds the BBC. If I want to watch anything on the ITV, C4 or C5 players, I have to sit through adverts like everyone else who doesn’t own a Tivo box thing. I buy DVD’s and have also bought series passes on iTunes, so I do pay for what I watch and don’t feel that guilty.

9) Do you think it’s wrong/bad etc that I have a TV?

No, no and no. My choices are mine and not a judgement of yours. It’s really stupid to say that all TV is bad and to believe that not having a TV in any way makes you happier, more clever or more intellectual than people who do is just wrong and not very bright. So I don’t do it.

I think that covers it, but if anyone else has any other questions, ask!

 

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Sunday Music

Posted on January 15, 2012 by nicdempsey

Carolina Chocolate Drops.

I know, I know, it might be Country, I’m just gonna embrace it….

Your Baby Ain’t Sweet Like Mine

Snowden’s Jig

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Clarifications

Posted on January 14, 2012 by nicdempsey

As I travel through my late 30’s, it has become apparent to me that assumptions are being made about my life and I’d like to clear up some misconceptions.  You’ve been warned, it’s about to get ranty around here….

1) Being in my 30’s without a partner or child doesn’t mean that I’m selfish or afraid of commitment...

Guys, I didn’t get married or have kids. Surprisingly, all this indicates is that, I didn’t get married or have kids. It doesn’t mean that I’m selfish, lacking or missing something. It just means that those things didn’t happen.

I have 6 godchildren and a nephew, I babysit like a champ. Don’t label me selfish because I get to lie in bed on a Saturday morning.  Instead think about this, I give up weekends and evenings to look after children that aren’t mine. I’ve housed teenagers in distress and negoiated ceasefires with their parents. I’ve done this for children I haven’t given birth to and don’t share DNA with. Sometimes it’s quite painful for me to look after those kids, knowing that I’m never gonna have one of my own. Parents look after their children because they have to, I do it because I love those kids and their parents, that’s the opposite of selfish.

While I’m on a roll,  I got involved with men who didn’t love me and then with a man who did and died. I’m not afraid of commitment, I was ready to commit, it just didn’t happen for me. I’d rather be alone, than be with someone who’s half hearted about it.

2) Not having a child means that I have no idea of the deeper things in life

Parents, I get it, having a kid was life changing and it’s a big deal. Buying a handbag is not either of those things. However, despite not giving birth, I have experienced life changing events that didn’t include giving birth. Holding my Grandad’s hand while he died, burying my father, holding Stef as he died and then trying to explain what was going on to his 3 year old kids in way that they could understand. My experiences aren’t any less valid or meaningful because I didn’t conceive a child. Belittling them because your experiences were different is rude.

3) Chosing to accept where I am and finding joy it, is not weird, it’s healthy

I refuse to apologise for living the life I have. I don’t want to try internet dating, I don’t want to spend my life obsessing on what could happen or didn’t happen. I want to spend my life being in it. Stop telling me I’m abnormal or intimating that my life has no value. It’s rude and mean.

4) There are worse things than being a single woman in her 30’s in London

It’s a first world problem, I feel plenty sorry for myself on occasion so I can do without your pity. Instead of telling me how sad you think my life is, try asking me about my life or if that’s too hard,  tell me about a great book, a play, ask me how to make a manhattan or if Chelsea are going to turn it around and win the league this season (on 2nd thought don’t ask me that, we’re not, it’s depressing!). My point is there is a whole world of art, science and wonder out there and I’m happy to talk about it. So asking me who I’m seeing or telling me time is running out if I want a child is pointless. If I was seeing someone, you’d probably know about and I am well aware of the ticking of my biological clock!

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Let’s catch up…

Posted on January 12, 2012 by nicdempsey

I’ve been missing in action this week not really for any reason other than the need to sleep, work and generally have a life getting in the way.

So in list form:

I’ve had a really sore back for the last couple of weeks, it only hurts if I stand up, sit down or move. Not fun and making me quite grumpy.

Now have some over the counter pain killers that make my face go numb and make me slightly manic. Not sure if they help my back at all

Job is getting busy, the one person in our team of three is leaving tomorrow, she is going onto bigger and better things, leaving me as the most experienced person in the team with all of 6 weeks in the job. My new mantra is ‘this is an opportunity, not a problem’

I survived my first major meeting – go me…

John and Matt are coming to London, finally! They are staying with Jo so I will get to see her and Ms T too, this is the definition of a win/win.

Matt in Cote D'Ivoire


In fact this weekend is a bit of an American adventure, John and Matt on Saturday and lunch with Maxanne, Danielle and Murphy, with Max’s parents who are visiting from Boston. It will be nice to meet them but honestly, I’m really looking forward to some Murphy time!!

Murphy and her Mommy

This of course does mean that I’ll miss Grace. Which is sad because it looks interesting and I don’t feel like I’ve seen anyone since the Christmas party. This is one of the drawbacks of worship being monthly rather than weekly..hey ho..

Having nice clothes is expensive. This week, I’ve spent a lot of money (for me) on clothing maintenance and adjustment. Not complaining or boasting, just pointing out that life was cheaper when I didn’t care so much about how I looked.

I got to the gym this week, bad back not withstanding. Which is good because I’ve had mad chocolate cravings this week, I haven’t really resisted them and the fact that it’s nice dark chocolate doesn’t make it good for me.

I made grenadine this week, which is amazing in a Ward Eight. Both recipes can be found on Domestic Sluttery and are very good.

In two weeks time I’m spending the day with Oli – so Ben and Lu can celebrate their 8th year together as grown ups.

And in the same weekend seeing Ryan…’cause he’s 27 this month, yep I feel old but at least he’s useful nowadays, he puts up pictures and everything.

Right time for bed….one more day and it’s the weekend.

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Saturday

Posted on January 7, 2012 by nicdempsey

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I seem to spend so much time on the 65 bus. Men, flats and jobs come and go but the 65 bus seems to be a constant. I can’t read on buses without getting sick and it always feels like wasted time. Today I looked out of the window. The sky is blue the sun is shining and maybe looking at the sky isn’t wasted time after all.

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Epiphany…

Posted on January 6, 2012 by nicdempsey

Twelfth Night was yesterday, so I took my lovely tree down.

My tree goes up earlier than I’d like, if I spent Christmas at home, I wouldn’t decorate the tree until Christmas Eve and the tree doesn’t come down until Twelfth Night. My Christmas season ends with Epiphany. I love that, not only to feel that I’m doing something my grandparents did, following a tradition, but that Christmas ends with Epiphany. The idea that Christmas is a time when you find out something that changes your world and begin something new. For me and every other Christian, it does. We feel the joy of Jesus’ birth and over the 12 days discover what that means about how our life is going to change in light of that. I’m always sad to take the tree down, it’s gone from being vibrant and green to wilted and sad. It’s time for it to come out of the house and for life to return to normal, but life won’t be the same, Christmas happened and you are changed. I’m going to be changed because I’ll have straighter hair and will read new books (thanks to brilliant Christmas presents) and because I’ve had a job for over a month. I’ve also had I’ve had time to think about how I want my year to be, about what I want to be in the New Year.

During Christmas, there were family, friends, presents, food, warmth and time to rejoice in all the good things in our life. Hopefully there was time for reflection, thankfulness and epiphany.

Time to take the love and the joy we have and make that real for other people. Jonny has written about this, about how we can use the New Year to change the world.

My epiphany comes about my attitude, that sometimes, I’m so busy thinking about me and the people I’m close to, I forget the wider world. It’s easy to spend time with Ma,Christelle, Max and by myself reading books, I forget that I’m also called to change the world. So I need to make my 12 in 12, 13. I walked past a homeless person last week and I was so aware that if not for my mother (and the welfare state) I could have ended up there this year.  Given that and that now I have a job I’m in the top 10% of earners in the world I need to do something to help the people who aren’t as lucky as me.  I do have a long road to recover financial stability and it will be hard to find something I can do, but I need to do it.

That’s my challenge, so as a challenge for the 4 or 5 people who read this, tell me about an epiphany they might have had over Christmas?

 

 

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More than 5 a day

Posted on January 5, 2012 by nicdempsey

This week in the post Christmas, back to work madness, I have craved green things….today I ate: 4 carrots, a pepper, 3 mushrooms, 2 sticks of celery, 2 clementines, 1 leek, 1 courgette and a big pile of green beans.

Anyone else finding they need to eat green stuff after Christmas?

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The morning sky

Posted on January 4, 2012 by nicdempsey

This morning was cold and dark, then unexpectedly beautiful..

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What I’ve Read – October, November and December 2011

Posted on January 4, 2012 by nicdempsey

I didn’t post about the books I read for the last quarter of the year. I was reading and I was keeping the list. As I’m about to finish my first book of 2012, I thought I’d update about the last books of 2011! Keen eyed people will notice that’s 71 books read in a year and that I didn’t really achieve reading the books on the to be read pile! Bad Nic…

October
60. Living Dead in Dallas – Charlene Harris

I finished the omnibus I bought and that’s me done. The concept is great and but not a lot happens and I got bored, prefer the TV show..
61. Son of Neptune – Rick Riordan

Luc and I read this together and talked about it a lot. He has lots of theories about what is going to happen and I really need to find him something to read to take the edge off the wait for the next book! We liked this…
62. Club Dead – Charlene Harris

See above and now I’m done.
63. Sisters of Fortune: The First American Heiresses to Take England by Storm – Jehanne Wake

This was really fascinating. I learnt a lot about the early years of the USA (not something that you learn in the UK!!) and when the sisters got to the UK, I knew quite a bit about the people that the sisters met and married (Duke of Wellington and his ‘family’) so it filled some gaps in my knowledge. Really enjoyed this.
November
64. The Chalet Girls Grow Up – Merryn Williams

This was a re-read, borrowed from my mother and I now remember why I didn’t like it the first time. I accept that there are lots of things that aren’t quite right about the Chalet School series, but I got the feeling that Merryn Williams just didn’t like the books or the main characters of the series. If you loved the Chalet School, you probably won’t like this and if you don’t know what the hell the Chalet School is, the book is very depressing, no-one in the book is very nice and the bad things happen to them.
65. A Close Run Thing – Allan Mallinson

I stole this from Charles’ throw away pile during their house move in September. I really enjoyed it, put my in mind of the Sharpe novels. Allan Mallinson trained as an Anglican priest (I would imagine he was a bit Anglo-Catholic!) and served in the Guards. These things show. Other that that, our hero is thoroughly honourable and an excellent guards officer, you want good things to happen to him and eventually they do.
66. Lock and Key – Sarah Dessen

The first of three in a row. I like Sarah Dessen novels, but this was another one where the mother was useless. I worry about that. Fathers don’t seem to feature much and mothers are always rubbish. Love that you got to see characters from her other books really briefly too. It’s Sarah Dessen, you can’t go wrong but I would make sure that any teenager of mine had access to books with nice mothers in them.
67. This Lullaby – Sarah Dessen

This one had a useless father too and the mother made mistakes but was ultimately all right. Again enjoyed, will reread but could we have a Sarah Dessan character who doesn’t have useless parents? Why does Remy need to look after her mother? I know that children can and do feel protective of parents but arranging her mother’s wedding, really?
68. Last Chance – Sarah Dessen

I really liked this. That Colie had done the thing that she was supposed to do to be happy and successful, lost weight but she was still herself and how she works that out. But again with the mother issues…

December
69. The Passage – Justin Cronin

Loved this. Lots of people saw I was reading this and told me that they didn’t like it or couldn’t finish it. It is a long book, but I loved the way Cronin showed us a world slightly in the future (Jenna Bush as governor of Texas, New Orleans destroyed) and then tore that world apart and rather than tell us about how it fell apart jumped forward 100 years. It doesn’t tell you, this happens, it shows you and you have to work it out.
70. Friday Night Lights – H. G Bissinger

I loved this for totally different reasons to why I loved The Passage. I know nothing about Texas and less about American football or padded rugby as I always thought of it. I have now learned that it’s not at all like rugby and I also learnt about the republican heartland, something I shall think about as the US elections kick into gear. What comes across is how Bissinger feels for, likes and maybe admires these people even though he can see what they’re doing to themselves, their children and their town. I also was aware of the different styles of writing between US and UK journalism. Worth reading.
71. Crossed – Allie Condie

I know, I said no more dystopia but I’d started and I had to carry on. I have a horrible feeling that the Society is about to go all ‘Matrix’ on me, but we’ll see.

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