I’m back home and things are not quite complete. There’s some snagging to do in the bedroom and the kitchen is just about workable but needs flooring, tiles and snagging. Part of me is really happy to be home to sleep in my bed, but let’s just say that the builders have not been careful with my possessions, the worse of that being the state of my mattress. None of it is life altering, it’s just been a bit careless.
Nearly there…but look at the snazzy new oven and microwave…
However, Ma and I have painted and cleaned, and painted and cleaned some more. The only room in the flat that is anything like it was is the bathroom, everything else is a work in progress. To quote Brene Brown, no empathetic sentence ever began with ‘at least’ but I can say it’s better than having no home, that worse things are possible and it’s only for a little while longer. This is very much a first world problem.
Stripped down bedroom with new flooring and paint. I can’t wait to get the curtains back up but I’m glad to be back in my bed with my new lovely bedding!
Surprisingly, I am going to miss staying with Mum. Ok, not the inflatable bed or the commute, but the Monday night detective TV, dinner being ready when I get home, all my washing and ironing being done and just getting to spend time with Mum with nothing that we have to do. That’s been amazing. We both value our alone time, so I know it’s been a huge sacrifice for her and I’m grateful, yet again to have the best mother!
Ealing parks
So this week, is going to be interesting, it’s looking like another full week in the office, because I can’t work at home until I have a desk I can get to or a kitchen table and none of those are happening for a couple of days. Food is only to be mostly toast and eating standing up, giving up sweets, biscuits, crisps and cakes, is a blessing because otherwise, I think I’d just eat crap, instead I get a Gail’s seeded loaf and smoked salmon for dinner!
I don’t really have a plan, just get through the week, unpack at the weekend and maybe have next Monday off to finish up. We shall see.
Lent Started on Wednesday and as I’ve done in previous years, I’m going to talk about it. If it’s not your thing, I get it, and I’ll see you sometime in the week, for my usual wittering.
So the first week of Lent.
I tend to assume that everyone knows what Lent is but it has been brought home to me this week, that this is not the case. So Lent is the period before Easter, it starts on Ash Wednesday and finishes on the Easter Saturday and it 40 days of fasting, praying and generally getting yourself really for Easter. I can heard you doing the maths now and saying that 22 February until 8 April is actually 46 days and you’d be right, the Sundays don’t count. In the Catholic Church, until the Second World War, fasting and abstinence during Lent was hardcore (only one meal a day, no meat, no eggs, no butter and generally no fun) and you had on day that you didn’t have to fast. Although given that in the northern hemisphere of the planet during most of the Church’s history, you’d be at the end of winter stores and slap in the middle of the ‘hungry gap’, chickens wouldn’t be laying and you’d be drying off cows for calving so there probably wouldn’t be much dairy available, so it makes a virtue of a necessity.
Nowadays, it’s not very hardcore although I understand that in the Catholic Church you’re supposed to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday and if you’re over 14 not eat meat on Fridays. These are not things that I grew up doing, probably because my Mum didn’t see the point of them! But I did go to a Catholic school and we were encouraged to give something up, give to charity, think about Jesus a bit more and go to Mass more often during Lent.
I’ve always thought of it as a time to think and act like the Christian I’d like to be, rather than the one I maybe am. So I have recently started to give things up but with the provision that I give the money I save to charity, usually the food bank. This year I have a regular sum that goes to my food bank so during Lent, I’ll put something in the food collection every time I shop (donations are at an all time low). Spiritually, I’ll wonder through the Examen every day and Grace are reading through a book, which I do find useful. So it’s pretty low key. Be less greedy, more charitable, think about God more often.
One of the things that we don’t talk about is the amount of faith and hope required to go into Lent acting like this matters. Even if you’re not Christian, the end of winter is tough, we’re tired and it’s still dark in the mornings and early evening, we’ve not yet had that boost of extra sunlight and energy that makes summer easier. Right now, with everything going on in the world and the sheer effort of living through trying times (and I don’t know about anyone else but it feels like everything has been terrible every year for at least the last three), it’s hard to imagine that another kind of life is possible.
Obviously, I believe in a God that does care and that can take this six weeks and change me. So Lent is an act of hope, it’s a time to hope for better for me and better for everyone else. But dreams without a plan, are just wishes. So Lent is also a tiny plan.
So, this Lent, I’m offering God a tiny plan, to change me and the world a tiny bit or a huge amount. God can be funny like that.
Michel Rosen makes up ‘letters from Boris’ on Twitter, they are very funny and sound alarmingly convincing.
The early ones have been put in a book and the best way to deal with the horror of the government of the past 7 years or so is laughter, so go and buy it.
There is a surefire way for the English to correctly pronounce Irish names. Just ask us. I am hopeless with languages, however I grew up Catholic in the 80’s so Niamh and Siobhan are names I know how to pronounce. (Yes, I did have two Irish grandparents but they both died before I was born and none of the Irish side of my family that I know about speak Irish at home). Having said that, I do the same thing I always do when unsure of someone’s name, I ask and make best efforts to get it right. It’s not hard to do. Although, the pronunciation of Cathal did take me by surprise recently!
Being a farmer in Britain right now is like being trapped in the back of stolen car driven at high speed by a driver who’s high on drugs and oblivious to the obstacles ahead… and all the time shouting absolute gibberish at you from the front seats https://t.co/FbraaKtyB3
Chancellor urged to reform childcare and stop urging over-50s to unretire. Hunt thinks it’s over 50’s retiring because it’s happening amongst the people he knows, who are well off. I’m nearly fifty and I know three people who have retired ‘early’ two were made redundant during the pandemic and one is retired due to ill health. I don’t know anyone else who can afford to retire early. I’d love too but I’ll probably be working past my current retirement age (67 but it’ll probably go up to 68)
Biden Just Destroyed Putin’s Last Hope. I’m not sure I agree at all. And America would probably be feeling as cautious as the European states if the Russians were as close to them!
Cruel ‘scam of mum and dad’ sparks a regulatory crackdown. I don’t get it. When I’m not living in her house, I talk to my mum every day (even my brother calls her every other day), in this situation, I would call her and that’s pretty much the answer. If you got texts or whatsapp messages like this asking for help, “sure, give me a shout and we’ll talk about it”. Problem solved, because if it is your kid and they need help, they will call. If it’s not, they won’t!
War, drought, staff shortages: why the price of milk has soared in the UK. I buy organic milk from Yeo Valley, which is good but it’s also £3 for 2 litres, that works for me, I drink 200mls a day with my collagen. I might also take a litre of it for yoghurt and that it pretty much it. That doesn’t really work for a family where everyone has milk in their tea and coffee or doesn’t have much money and relies of it extra nutrition. See also eggs…
Whatever happened to middle age? The mysterious case of the disappearing life stage. I have embraced the middle age label. I am middle aged and quite frankly, it’s great. I’m much clearer about the things I want in my life. If I had lots of money, I might think about retraining to do something more interesting, although I do like both my job and the company I work for, which hasn’t always been the case. There is something very freeing about this age which I’m really enjoying. I know that as someone without a partner and children, my mid life will look very different from others but I think as with anything else, it’s what you make it, it doesn’t make you!
This is my last week of commuting from my Mum’s house, and so the last week of doing this walk more or less very day (sometimes I get the Drain). Here are some pictures from my walk:
This is my last week in Surbiton, however the work on the flat is still not finished (the plaster hasn’t dried and so the work on the kitchen hasn’t begun). I had said that I wanted to be back in the flat for 25 February, it’s been four weeks and I’m just done with this. Did you know that in this country, even though I can’t live in the flat, I still have to pay rent and that the landlord is under no obligation to compensate me or find me somewhere else to live. If I don’t pay rent, I can be evicted but if I can’t use what I pay for there’s no penalty for the landlord. I could ask him to compensate me, I could take him to small claims court but then he could just evict me with no fault. Welcome to the 21st Century and the rentier economy. Something needs to change, I know the Tories won’t do anything and I doubt Labour would either. Look, I know that my landlord is a decent person but my housing, shouldn’t be at the whim of a someone deciding to be decent, there should be protections for landlords and tenants. Robust protections. Yes the work will be lovely but it’s costing me and it’s costing my mum (I have offered her money but we’re going to work it out in a series of dinners!)
Rant over, this week I’ll be in the office and living at Mum’s, at the weekend, I’ll move back into my flat but for at least a week, it’ll be like camping, I won’t have a kitchen and most of my furniture will still be in the living room, but I’ll be able to get on with painting the bedroom. Then next week, I can start returning it to somewhere I can comfortably live in. I’m sure it will eventually be lovely but it still feels like there is a long way from here to there!
So what am I planning for this week? The same thing, I plan for every week. Work, home, sleep, don’t annoy Mum. Also Lent starts this week, so I would like to go and get ashed. It’s funny most people who aren’t regular churchgoers, turn up at Christmas, but it’s the Easter services that get me back into a church, this year, the easiest church to do that in, is St Paul’s cathedral, so that will be interesting.
Wednesday is also the start of me giving up biscuits, crisps, sweets and chocolate I started doing this in 2019 and it’s never as hard as I expect and a really good reset on what I should be eating. Also for Lent, I’d like to get into the habit of doing the Examen. For a few years, I’ve posted about Lent and my faith during Lent, this is a heads up that I’ll do some of that this year and probably on Sundays, so if it’s not your thing, just don’t read them. I won’t mind and I’ll get back to whittering on about work, home and the allotment as usual during the weekday posts.
My generation is sucking Britain’s young people dry. Why are politicians too scared to admit it? Because it’s not all boomers. It’s class, all those things happened as my parents grew up but they didn’t get to do A levels and go to University and for my Mum that was because my Grandma died young and my Grandad with children who were 17 and 14 years old, lost my Grandma’s pay AND was taxed as a single man, and in 1962 there was no allowance for being a widower as there was for being a widow. Ma is ok now because she does have a good pension, (it’s not loads but it’s still above the tax allowance and she pays tax) and lives in social housing with a more stable rent. From the age of 24 to 66 she lived in private rented accommodation). Yes, she is lucky but there is no generational wealth for her to pass onto my brother and me. My Dad died at 53, the state doesn’t have to pay him a pension but again no generational wealth to pass on. Housing for people of my class, has been in crisis since I was in my 20’s (certainly, I’ve been banging on about it for that long) and the middle and upper classes have been fine with that, now it’s affecting them and all of sudden it’s an outrage and older people are the problem. No. It’s not about generations, it’s about class. The way you solve for this is to tax wealth, not income.
The work from home revolution is here to stay – if you’re rich, white and live in London. I’m two of those things, and honestly, I thought we already knew this. In a one bedroom flat, I’ve had to re-arrange my flat so I have a space to work, and I’ve also noticed that I spend less time in my living room for leisure because I work there. Taking all of that, Mum had to work some Saturday’s when I was a child and I chose to work in an office so I wouldn’t have to work on weekends or Bank Holidays. I guess the issue, as ever, is choice, pay and other working conditions. Yet again, the problem is work…
I’m still too far away from the plot to do much work on it, although this weekend we did visit to feed the birds and got a surprise.
So to set the background, I had been talking my plot neighbour a while ago about needing to cut back the trees at the back of the plot, because they were really impacting the light that the polytunnel got, I didn’t want a massacre but just to stop them overhanging the polytunnel. The thing is that if it’s going to be done, we’re in the last period of being able to do it before the birds start to nest. I sought of knew that it wasn’t going to get done this year because I wasn’t going to get back to the plot until March
Before
So imagine my surprise to get to the plot on Saturday and find it done. My neighbour had seen they were burning on the communal plot, was doing some trimming of her own, knew I wasn’t around and did mine! I don’t know that it shows up in pictures but it’s so much lighter at the back now. It didn’t stop the robin coming to visit either!
After and not overhanging the poly
In other news, I bought some more seeds, so the other cherry tomatoes, will definitely be galina(yellow) and chocolate cherry. I also bought another squash (the Thelma Sanders Sweet Potato) and some more flowers, Night Scented Stock, to attract pollinator moths, and ‘After Midnight’ a breadseed poppy. All from Real Seeds and I really need to stop.
We are moving onto planning, now. I really need to get to the grass that is trying to take over the plot but for right now, I can do nothing. In March, I’ll start with the weeding, moving the raspberries (yes I know it’s not a great time) and turning the compost. Then move onto seed sowing, tidying the polytunnel, laying the patio, ordering compost and getting all the beds sorted for spring. I just need to wait for March and getting the flat sorted before I can start.
This morning, my email has been flooded with Valentine’s Day offers. I’ve been single for over a decade now so Valentine’s isn’t something I have many feelings about at all!
However, today is the day we take delivery of our Moth cocktails order. So if you are feeling sorry for yourself, this might cheer you up.
Negroni
I find these delightful because they are ready made and portion controlled. Yes, you could make them at home, they’re not hard cocktails to get right, but this takes away all the faff. They’re great to travel with or when you’re living at you Mum’s for four weeks!
Aperitivo Spritz
We have tried and loved the Aperitivo Spritz and the Negroni. I wasn’t keen on the Old Fashioned but I’m not generally keen on them usually, so that was down to user error! They do other drinks that I haven’t tried but you can buy them in Waitrose for £3.99 or four for the price of three or order directly from them online at Moth Drinks.
I keep seeing that little luxuries are the way to keep going in a recession and these are out of mine!
I spent most of last week being grumpy and feeling not very well (raging PMS) but finally got my period and I’m just my usual brand of peri menopausal grumpy. I did not feel good.
What else? The fridge freezers and kitchen were delivered on Tuesday, however, that two weeks in which they promised it would be done? Not going to happen, I can’t get in to paint the bedroom this weekend because they haven’t plastered the wall yet, something that should have been done, last week. I shouldn’t be surprised, it took them three weeks to build a porch, but I moved out so they could go quicker and while I love my Mum, we are both going to need to me to back in the flat (I’m still paying 43% of my monthly take home salary to live in) soon.
We popped in to pick up post and it’s a building site, as you can probably gather, I’m less than impressed. It’s not just the length of time it’s taking, it’s that I can’t plan anything because I have no fixed dates for anything. I need to paint the bedroom before I move anything back into it and so I can’t order the wardrobe because I don’t have any idea of when we’ll be able to do that. If I can’t put the bedroom furniture back in the bedroom, I can’t get to the kitchen stuff or the stuff that should go in the cupboard of doom. So it all daisy chains, and the builders don’t really get that there is a lot of work I have to do when they leave. In short, I’m cross and trying to be reasonable but it’s working my last nerve.
So my plans for this week are have a haircut today, I have a day off for that, and I’ll like to get Ma’s curtains up this afternoon and then work this week. I’m not going home until 25 February so the goal is not to annoy my Mum too much in the meantime!
Nic Dempsey 