Try Again. Fail. Fail Better.

One of the things about nearly 9 years of blogging (yeah it’s been that long!) is that I get to see how everything changes and everything stays the same and my hair always looks good!One of the things that I notice when I look back is how often I need to re-learn lessons that I thought I already knew. I also notice that each time I fail and I fail often, is that I fail a little less and thus each failure is also a tiny improvement.

All of this to say that I did not set any goals for May and I didn’t recap April goals. This is not entirely because I didn’t do anything in April, it’s more about time off work and a sprained ankle meaning that I was in the wrong frame of mind for blogging and I just found other things to do. However, I need to re-focus myself for the rest of May in a couple of areas because I’m not failing yet but I’m feeling a little out of control and need to get a grip before I crash and burn. Needing to re-set after four or five months is also a pattern that I see over the years too!Mostly it’s about discipline and focus. I have a tendency to go off into what I want to do, not what I need to do. So I’ll spend an evening reading and forget to hang the laundry, when that chore would have taken 10 minutes and then I could have picked up the book! I’m better than I used to be, nowadays, I get the washing up done before I pick up the book. Although I can treat cooking dinner as a chore and grind it out, I slip on other things. So I need to start again.One of the things that I’ve noticed is that if I focus on the little things, the bigger things sort themselves out. Start with the basics and the more complex things, seem less complex and challenging. So here is my re-focus list….

Saving for Christmas. Christmas and the 10 family/friends/godchildren birthdays from September to December are financially burdensome so even if I just put £10 a month into savings that’s money I’m not spending in November/December in a panic.

Food & Budget. I’ve more or less stuck to £15 a week for food but I need to start tracking it and being more aware of food and waste and not over buying too much. I’m going to re-introduce the food money purse and not just take it out of general money.

No spend week. One of the advantages of being trapped in the house is that you can’t spend money. I don’t do a lot of online shopping anymore and last week, when I was trapped in the house, I spent a grand total of £20, which was the money I gave to Ma for food shopping. So I’m naming the first week after payday, no spend week as that’s the week that I tend to get overexcited with spending. Other than food, I’m not going to buy anything. Let’s see how that works.

Housework. The golden hour before bedtime works, if I do it, so I’m going to set an alarm for 9pm to remind me. I also need to introduce the ‘just got home, half an hour’ to sort out the stuff I need to do. Going through post, putting away clothes etc. In fairness I do most of this automatically but the odd things don’t get done and I need to focus on them.Self Care. Four years ago (ish) I wrote a post about how treating my body like it was my flat had helped me feel better about it and in a post about re-learning things, I come back to it. I need to spend a bit more time on ‘housework’ for my body. That goes to moisturiser, getting more sleep, and some work on how I fuel my body. I don’t know what that looks like yet but I’ll keep you posted!

So five things, that I’m going to focus on and think about in May and incorporate into June’s goals. My word for 2017 was focus and so time to get back to that and I’ll fail a bit less this time.

 

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Allotment Adventures: One Year Later

How do you celebrate having managed to cultivate an allotment for an entire year.

Like this….

I can’t quite believe that I stuck at it for 12 months. In that time I’ve found a community, in real life and on online of people who are just as crazy about the joys of growing your own food as I am.

This was my first visit when I decided that I’d take it, it was 1st May and I signed for it the next Saturday on the 7th.

Digging over and look at the weeds…

By the end of May we had some plants in the ground.

By the end of June, it was looking pretty productive

But we made a sanity saving decision to cover the bits that we couldn’t get under control

By the end of July we were feeling pretty good about it, with produce and sweet peas and new beds, everything was so green…Over August, we started to try and rehabilitate the raspberries, we also planted a tiny strawberry bed from some runners.I made plum gin from my own plums and got excited about the tomatoes

We were well into the courgette glut by then, I learnt to pickle them and made lots of courgette cake. Everything was abundant, by that point of the summer we had had gooseberries, raspberries, rhubarb, courgettes, salad, spinach, french beans, peas, rocket, some tomatoes, cucumbers,plums, nasturtiums, sweet peas, marigolds, afgan and californian poppies, by September, there were runner beans, dill and coriander, and the rosemary, sage, oregano, thyme and mint were all doing well. We also got rid of the frame, which didn’t go without a fight but really opened up the space.In October and November, with things really dying down, we did a bit of rearranging. We bought another 6 raised beds and laid down more weed suppressant.We also measured and sorted out where we wanted a shed to go and planted garlic, onions and broad beans for next year.

There wasn’t really anything left to do so visits were few and far between in December and January because we didn’t plant anything that we could eat over winter. We are planning better for this year!In February, things were starting again and we replenished the woodchip, with much swearing from Ma!We also dug over some areas for herbs and started to think about growing things again.

In March we just did more of the same. I had a bit of a crisis of confidence while nurturing seedings and I planted some hyacinths.At the end of April, we finally got a shed.And here we are a year later. The plot looks like this. 

There are things growing and some setbacks (mildew on the gooseberries, dry spring and I still don’t really know what I’m doing!) but it’s all good and I’m proud of what Ma and I have got done and I seem to have a hobby or obsession!

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What I’ve Read – March and April 2017

I missed posting What I’ve Read for March and April so I’m catching up. I was trying to get though the Kindle TBR list and started ok, then went off the rails. Oh well…

Ysabel – Guy Gavriel Kay (Kindle TBR list)

I enjoyed this, it didn’t have the heft of the author’s usual work but I liked the sense of change and things undone and I loved that we got to see Kim and Dave after the events of the Fionavar books.

Those Autumn Nights – Theresa Romain (Kindle TBR list)

This felt really fluffy, even compared to my usual fluff and I wasn’t all that impressed.

Barely Breathing – Pamela Clare (Kindle TBR list)

I’ve had this on the list for ages and a Smart Bitches author rec, sent me back to it. It was good while I was reading it and there was compentence porn which I’m keen on but it went all a bit sideways and I’m on the shelf about reading the others.

Blurred Lines – Lauren Layne (Kindle TBR list)

Again, I really enjoyed it while I was reading  it but you knew how it was going.

Hail Mary – Nicola Rendell (Kindle TBR list)

I didn’t buy that the heroine could knock out the hero, I didn’t buy that the heroine, a physio could have spent lots of time boxing to overcome her fear of an abusive ex without working to get her head in the game. I liked them as a couple, I liked that they had issues about whether to have kids, and the difficultly of making a relationship work but the resolution was to quick, from all of those issues to love and babies and marriage.

Hunting Season (The Gathering) – Shelley Laurenston (bought)

I do have issues with the calling other woman sluts, whores etc but I still love Laurenston’s books and I love her take on the nordic gods and myths.

Tangled Up – Erin Nicholas (bought)

Erin Nicholas small town drama is sought of my catnip, which is hilarious because me and small towns/villages, not compatible. However, in my fiction reading they are fine because they are so made up. I liked this, I really liked that the heroine and hero had to overcome their assumptions of each other and of who they were. Fun

Mayhem: Mayhem Series 1  – Jamie Shaw (borrowed)

Riot: Mayhem Series 2 – Jamie Shaw (borrowed)

Chaos: Mayhem Series 3 – Jamie Shaw (borrowed)

Havoc: Mayhem Series 4 – Jamie Shaw (borrowed)

I read these because H was and although I’m horrified that my 16 year old god-daughter is reading stuff like this (I’m also horrified that she’s 16, how did that happen?) I know that I read the 1989 version of books like this so it’s gonna happen. It was all a bit unrealistic but fine..

Do You Want to Start a Scandal – Tessa Dare (Kindle TBR list)

Speaking of unrealistic, welcome to Tessa Dare. The first Tessa Dare book I read was ‘A Night to Surrender’ her first Spindle Cove book and it was not anything like the book a friend had promised me it was. Getting over that took a while and then I went back to it and I enjoy her books now I’m not expecting accuracy. Anyway, this one takes a supplementary character from Spindle Cove and one from a previous ‘Castles Ever After’ and puts them together and hi-jinks ensue. Fun.

What It Takes – Shannon Stacey (bought)

I love Shannon Stacey but this felt off. Like two smaller books that didn’t have enought plot smooshed together. I did enjoy it because see above about my small town catnip but it didn’t really sing.

The Hot Shot – Kristen Callihan (bought)

Another author that I love to read and I a world that I seriously can’t know about or understand. I liked it, because of it’s unreality but within that, I liked the characters and found their confusion believable.

Flight Behaviour – Barbara Kingsolver (Kindle TBR)

This has been languishing on my TBR list for years and I can’ t think why because I really enjoyed it. There has been a lot of discussion recently about the return of nationalism and rural identity and people voting against their own interest. In an American context, this book was looking at it in 2012 before that orange clown was elected but it’s worth reading for that. For looking at what it takes to change views and care and break out from where you are. I’ve been talking about it so much that Ma is reading it now.

The Giver – Lois Lowry (Kindle TBR)

This is a classic children’s book, I never got around to reading. Reading it as a grown up, I notice it’s craft, how you’re brought to an understanding of what’s happening, just like the narrator. The reader isn’t aware of what’s not being said or described right until they are. It’s great and I’d wish I’ll read it when I was 11.

Twist – Kylie Scott (bought)

I liked this better than Dirty but I recognise that this is about millenials so what I find unrealistic might be because of my age. It was fun.

The Demon Prince – Ann Aguirre (bought)

I’m really enjoying this series. Although I didn’t like the pairing as much as I liked the previous one, I’m enjoying the world of the books. I really want more detail about it. I’m going to end up reading these as they are released because I want to see what she’s going to come up with.

Heat Wave – Karina Halle (borrowed)

By the end of this book, I was hate reading it. I didn’t like anyone in the book and it was trying too hard to be tense and weighty and it didn’t work for me at all.

Cream of the Crop – Alice Clayton (bought)

While some of it was very chick-lit unreal, I really enjoyed this. I liked the city/countryside pull for the heroine and it was funny and fun.

 

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Best/Worst – 1 May 2017

Last week, was not the week I was expecting to have…

Best

Dinner with Josephine. We talked and ate and talked so a fairly standard meeting for us. I’m glad she’s enjoying her posting and I also found out she has a twitter account, so now I’ll know more about what she does!

Visitors. On Friday, Kathy and the children came to see me. After 7 days indoors, it was a delight to see people  and make paper aeroplanes for the children.

Greenhouse. We bought it and assembled it on Saturday, that was pretty much all I did but I’m done with construction on the plot. 

Worst

Being housebound. I’m pretty good at being alone and I had no problem with six weeks mostly indoors for osteotomy recovery but because this was unexpected and because I was working from home, it was hard.

 

Honourable mentions this week, go to the French doing the right thing and rejecting fascism, flowers on the cucumber plants, watching a four year old trying to fly a paper aeroplane, a year of being an allotment owner, a wedding invitation and some sunshine.

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Friday Links

Happy Friday! I’ve spend this week indoors with a sprained ankle, links are few this week because I’ve just can’t right now…

The garden bridge is dead, the£38 million of public money sent should be repaid.

I can’t imagine this being easier than reading this by yourself but I have so much respect for how Lemn Sissay continues to work though the horror that was his childhood.

I heard clips of the Diane Abbot interview and cards on the table, I don’t like her at all, but I really felt for her on this. It’s my worst nightmare and I’m pretty sure this is me having a conversation about figures. I can do it, at work I have some responsibility for the figures but I’ve realised that my brain works differently to everyone else in my family when it comes to numbers. I can’t do figures in my head quickly and struggle to retain numbers.  Ma, Ben, Lu and Oli do not have this problem, Joe’s not there yet but chances are I’m going to be the only numbers ‘slow’ person in the family…

Trump’s ignorance about the causes of the Civil War are dangerous. I know more about the Civil War than he does…

Robin Lustig on the fundamental mismatch in British and EU thinking about Brexit 

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Best/Worst – 24 April 2017

Last week was a holiday week, I had a staycation and got some things done at home but I spent the last four days of my holiday indoors..

Best

Time to see people. Dinner with Sarah and Justin (and Fred). Coffee with Kathy. The great thing about having time is time to see the people that matter.

Painting the bathroom. We still have to do the rest of the flat but it’s a start!

Community. I can isolate myself sometimes but knowing that I have people nearby who will pop round with shopping, when I can’t get out of the house (see below about my ankle) is amazing!

Worst

Spraining my ankle. On Friday afternoon I fell down the stairs which wrote off my weekend of fun on the plot and going out to dinner. It’s a bad sprain but it is only a sprain 

Frost. My potatoes and broad beans suffered, what with that and the mildew on the gooseberries, my allotment year is not going so well!

Honourable mentions to sorting out the cupboard of doom and the shed, hitting laundry zero during the week, cinema with Ma, Grandad’s anniversary (19 years).

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Friday Links 

Happy Friday! I’ve been off work this week, so not many links!

Low alcohol or alcohol-free drinks. Sometimes you just want something that isn’t a soft drink but without the alcohol. I really need to try making a shrub.

Why you should skip to the end of books.

Gen X will save the world. So very silly, in all of the boomer vs. millennial nonsense going around, I want everyone to remember that Gen X hates both of them!

 The NHS, a visual guide. Worth remembering during the election. Jeremy Corbyn could be a terrible Prime Minister. Theresa May has been PM or in government during this. So more of the same or try something different?

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Allotment Adventures: A Shed

My weekend started with the outside of my house looking like this!While Christelle and I carried bits of the shed to the plot, Mike and Adam built the base and shed.We had a bit of trouble with the committee. I love that the site has a committee of people willing to put time and effort into maintaining the site. However, I had permission from them to put this up, it wasn’t too big and it didn’t encroach on the path. That someone wanted to check wasn’t a problem, the accusatory manner that was done, well it put my back up. Anyway, that dealt with, the shed was finished.It took about four hours and I’m so lucky that Christelle, Mike and Adam were happy to give up a Saturday to help me!

In other allotment news, Ma did the weeding and the gooseberries have mildew! Joy…

But Dionne’s plot is looking amazing, it’s been nice to work on someone else’s plot!

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Best/Worst – 17 April 2017

Best

Sunshine. It’s been a bit colder but very sunny, it’s easier to get started in the morning when the sun is shining.

Shed. I have a shed. It makes me very happy! It’s not just the shed, it’s all the people that helped build the shed. I’m grateful for my friends..

Worst

General Election. I’m pretty despairing about the state of politics in this country and this doesn’t make it any better…

Hayfever or cold. All week, I’ve been playing the guessing game with this. I can’t leave the house without watering eyes so I am taking my anti histamine but I’m waking up all bunged up and croaky. Ma has a cold and it seems to be doing the rounds of the office so I’m worried that it’s going to be hayfever and a cold!

Minutes. As part of my job I have to minute a monthly meeting. It’s also quite long and technical. Writing the minutes can take days and involve listening to a recording of it. This week I was under the cosh and had to get them done by Thursday morning as well as trying to pack all my other work into a four day week. I got it done but it added a certain element of stress to my week!

Other honourable mentions:

Bumping into Una on the train. Una is one of Ryan’s godmothers and her family and mine used to go to the same church. Her mum and dad ran Ben’s cub pack too. So it was a nice thing.

A phone call from Ryan. Miracles happen!

Gin Texts. When your friends are at a local pub and see the gin menu and take a photo to send to you!

Sneezing in the office. I swear it’s the air conditioning (oh and the cold doing the rounds) but everyone was sneezing. Weird.

Oli scoring for his new football team on his debut!

Chelsea’s 4-2 win over Tottenham. FA Cup finals are always good to be in.

Helping Dionne on her plot. It’s looking really good

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Friday Links

Happy Friday! It’s happening, Theresa May has called an election, I’m filled with a sense of doom about this. However, every cloud has a silver lining and George Osborne resigning is mine.

It’s not a general election, it’s a coup.

Prince Harry grief revelation.  I’m not a monarchist, but I don’t personally dislike Prince Harry and good for him for getting the help he needed. However, what horrifies me, is he was 12 when his mother died and frankly, I’m cross, although unsurprised, that he was able to bury that grief. No-one from his father, to his school, to his wider family thought to talk to him about his mother or get him help, especially given his mother’s well documented mental health issues. Lower down that class scale, that’s called emotional neglect…

Why didn’t the Chinese fall for Weetabix’s charms? Weetabix was only ever just edible if covered with lots of sugar, minimal milk and if you ate it quickly and then only just.

The Easter Egg Roll and the Bygone Era of White House Openness. I thought it was interesting.

Theresa May’s snap election is cynical political game playing.

A snap poll is the shrewd thing for May to do for the fulfilment of her ambition. She needs a personal mandate and it is clever politics to grab one now. But she must not imagine there is anything more noble to it than that.

Government cap on energy prices would spark backlash. This is going to get really messy!

Pink grapefruit and campari sorbet. This is a ode to pink grapefruit and campari, the drinks list at the end is also useful.

Theresa May is not just breaking her promises, she is breaking our politics.

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