Small Goals for 2023: February

As I mentioned last month, I’m keeping goals small and manageable this year

Before I get into February, let’s have a brief recap of January.

In short, I didn’t do well.

Let’s start with the successes, budget was a big tick, I didn’t use my credit card and I didn’t spend over the money I had in my purse. I didn’t buy lunches and I really worked on emptying the freezer, which I mostly did.

The not so great list was everything else.

  • I wanted to walk 10k steps every day and hit 310,000 for the month. I was thinking I really missed this one but in fact, I walked 263,711 in January. Which is much less worse than I thought I did. So I was 46,289 steps short.
  • Yoga every day. I didn’t think this one through. It’s really hard to commit to an activity that you need space for, when you are packing up your flat. I did four days of yoga before the whole thing became untenable and I decided to push this one to March, assuming that I’m back in the flat and it’s organised enough to do it. Also giving the current state of my hips and lower back, it’s something I’m going to need to do.
  • 10pm bedtime and Golden Hour, nope. This was something I should have done but didn’t do consistently. This is on me, I gave in to my worse impulses. It was January, I was stressed by the whole concept of moving and I didn’t do a good job.

Having said that, I feel I did alright in January. It’s always a difficult month and I was extra stressed by I didn’t over spend, I did get the flat packed up (which is something made so much easier with Ma chivvying me on and Sue and Richard organising a trip to the dump).

So let’s talk about February. I’m at Ma’s, probably until at least 18 February, I’ve already mentioned that living with Ma, exerts some natural discipline because she’s doing a bunch of things for me (cooking dinner, washing and ironing – this is the most ironed my clothes have ever been!) and I’ve reverted to doing what I’m told! However, I didn’t realise until last week, how much I needed it, because like almost everyone else I know, the three COVID lockdowns and hybrid working have left me a bit adrift, and I didn’t realise how adrift, until I did a full week in the office.

Continuous days in the office require a discipline that I’ve lost over the past three years and it’s been kind of nice to find it again, in a supported way, and to realise that I want more of it. Look, I do know this about myself, but one of the things I really want for this year is ease and a lot of ease comes from preparation and discipline. It absolutely sucks that this is the case but there it is. So with that in mind and with the knowledge that I’ll be back in my house (God and builders willing) sometime this month, here are the small things I want to do in February:

  • 70,000 steps a week (which I’m basically getting done by Friday because of the walk between the office and the station five days a week), to equate to 280,000 by the end of February;
  • Stretching every day because my hamstrings are tight and so are my hips;
  • Food prep on the weekend, so that breakfast and lunch are ready and consistent;
  • 10pm bedtimes on school nights;
  • More office time once I’m home (3-4 days once I’m home, it’s every day while I’m at Ma’s); and
  • I’d like to have the flat sorted and everything unpacked by the end of this month, building work permitting.

That’s all I’m doing until Lent, when I’m adding my tradition ban on sweets, cakes, biscuits and crisps and I’d like to make time for the examen every day.

See you for the wrap up in March!

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Monday Miscellany: Week Two

Happy Monday!

I’ve been at Ma’s a week and it’s going fine. I’m finding it both delightful and strange to have all my washing done (and everything ironed) as well as coming home and finding dinner on the table. I suddenly really understand why my colleagues with wives at home are so relaxed about everything!

I’m not enjoying the 6am wake up quite as much but when did I ever? I am quite enjoying the walking into the office although, I’ve had to enlist Mum’s help with stretching my hamstrings each night to help un-tighten my hips. Once I’m home and the flat is unfucked, I’m going to have to put some serious work into yoga to unfuck my lower back, hips and knees (getting old is no joke!)

The rest of the week was also ok, I ordered the fridge freezers, got a picture of the stripped back kitchen. It’s all happening.

On Saturday, I headed off to Christelle and Mike’s for dinner, which gave Ma a rest from me. I got home on Sunday and we had a cosy afternoon and I had an afternoon nap.

This week, I’m ready for more of the same. Work is also going to be busy, Ma is out on Wednesday, so I will have to cook my own dinner (the horror!) and its Grace on Saturday, so we’ll see if I can make that. I have no idea what will be up with the flat by then. I’m hoping to be able to spend the weekend painting the bedroom but suspect that the kitchen won’t be finished and I’ll have to spend another week at Ma’s, we’ll see.

Have a good week!

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Friday Links:

Happy Friday!

It’s been a week…

Low-cost housing: how can you escape the rent rat race? This makes me furious. These are all insecure housing options. Ma’s flat has some disadvantages but the best thing it has is security of tenure and low rent increases. I love my flat and my landlord is decent but my contract comes to an end in June and given the amount of work that’s being done right now, I know the rent is going up and I’m expecting it to be an increase of 10 to 20%, and things are going to get tight again. It’s not fair or equitable and that’s with a decent landlord and I’m well paid. There aren’t enough decent housing options for people in worse situations than me, renting a room in a co-op is not a solution…

Retired early and wondering what to do? How about fighting for the rest of us? Well it’s not me, I’m not rich enough to retire now and probably won’t be when I hit retirement age at 67 or 68 depending. Most of this is a class thing but it’s also a generational thing. My mum left school at 16 and retired at 64, by comparison I started working at 19 and if it’s 67, we’ll have worked the same amount of years, but I won’t retire, with the pension (either state or private) that Ma did. Ma did better because a rising tide raises all boats and although she’s working class she’s also a Boomer, born in the luckiest year to be born in the 20th Century. She and most of her generation are proof that if you have the political will to think differently, people can have a secure future. That’s what we need, politicians and voters to think differently about how we live and what we should live for.

UK benefit changes have pushed people into dead-end, low-paid jobs, says IFS

‘A serious threat’: calls grow for urgent review of wood-burning stoves. My asthma does not love woodsmoke, but I love it and I understand why you’d want a wood burner.

Children to be housed closer to family in overhaul of England’s social care system. It won’t work! It needs lots of money and joined up thinking and apparently there isn’t any of the former and none of the latter in the government.

Sunak thinks he is following Thatcher’s union-busting playbook. But he has fatally misread it

‘Some weeks I only speak to the postman’: how to escape learned loneliness – and soar socially. What this is basically talking about is community. For me Grace, the allotment and some volunteering have helped me develop that and the joy of my particular style (extroverted introvert) is that I need a lot of time alone but can engage on a superficial level.

‘A lot of the demons seem a little cheesy now’: Sarah Michelle Gellar on Buffy, her burnout and her comeback

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A Day in Food: The Living with Mother Edition

I’m choosing to use this time with Ma to reset my diet, post Christmas, I’ve been trying to use things up edited the kitchen build, while I wouldn’t call it terrible I’m ready to get back to a bit more discipline in my eating habits.

Ma is the master at this and I’m in the office all week so the only variation is dinner. Here’s a typical weekday of eating for the next couple of weeks…

I start the day with a collagen milkshake. I use Hunter and Gather collagen peptides and because I’m of an age where laying down calcium is advised, 200ml of whole organic milk. I don’t really like milk so the unhealthy bit is this is the banana nesquik!

Breakfast

I make coffee when I make my milkshake and take it on the train with me. Once I’m at the office, I fill up my water bottle and a cup of tea. The tea is herbal and usually ginger or mint. Breakfast is a pepper, carrots and two roasted chicken thighs.

Lunch

Lunch is a mum special, she ate a variation of this a lot when she was working. Three oatcakes, carrots, celery and hummus. I added the Laughing Cow (Ma will always have this or Dairylea in the fridge).

I also like a lunch pudding, it would have been yoghurt but they didn’t have flavours l liked this week so fruit fool it is!

And Monday to Wednesday, my extra treat has been two mini crème eggs. (This is me indulging myself until Lent starts and I do my usual thing of giving up sweets, crisps and chocolate until Easter! Also I need something to look forward too, this week has been tough!)

Crème Eggs

When I get back from work, Ma has dinner underway. Truly this is a marvellous thing. It’s often a protein and veg. This was salmon with pesto and roasted Brussels sprouts and squash. Both the pesto and squash are allotment produce!

It’s not the most clean diet on the planet but it works for me because despite getting 6 and a half hours of sleep a night (it’s been worse but not recently!) for most of this week, I’ve managed to be up at 6am and in the office by 8:15 and working loads, there’s a lot going on this week!

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Allotment Adventures: Things for 2023

As the allotment is going to be sidelined over the next few weeks because of the kitchen works, here are a couple of things I want to focus this season:

Infrastructure

We are pretty much done with major building and changing on the plot for a good long while. The things I want to finish or sort in 2023 are as follows:

  • Lay the patio
  • Tidy up the boysenberry bed
  • Get the raspberries supported
  • Move the raspberries out of one of the beds to the back of the plot
  • Move that bed, put a square bed in for another blackcurrant and give the blueberries some space to make netting the blackcurrant bushes and the blueberries
  • Look after the shed, I have this grand plan that I’ll paint it once a month during the warm weather so I don’t stress about it in the winter and it looks better!

Mulch and cover.

Every year the weather is different but 2022 really showed us that climate change’s impact on the weather is going to cause instability. This year, we’ve had the hottest temperatures and some of the coldest on the plot. So I need to think a lot more about straw to mulch the beds with (for summer in particular and it won’t hurt in winter). I also need to fleece the frost tender things especially in the polytunnel)

Watering

I’m not sure about how I do this, but I need to be more consistent in my watering of beds in the summer. In the hot weather this year there were periods when I watered every day and that made a huge difference, especially to my tomatoes. So I need to work out a schedule and I need to think about saving water, maybe think about using ollas in the beds and the polytunnel and make sure that the things in pots have trays underneath them in the warm weather.

Grow things from seed

This was one of my goals last year and I failed. However, this year I need to try again, I may fail again but it’s worth a shot. The biggest thing for me is timing and I think once we hit March I’ll just sow everything I think needs it and keep going. Better to grow too much than not try at all.

Flowers

More flowers is the plan for this year. I want the allotment to be a place where pollinators want to be and I want it to look pretty. Now you may be asking, as I’m pretty sure that my mother is right now, where are you going to put them? The plot is pretty full up. The answer is the wild area, the front of the plot and in the corners of things. There are some areas that we don’t walk much on so the edges of those paths can have flowers, the edges of beds, in an attempt to out compete the weeds I don’t want. It might not work, but I’m going to try…

Polytunnel

The last year was a learning year for me on how to use the polytunnel. The sweet potato experiment was barely successful so I’ll grow them outside and I think I have a place that will work for that. The tomatoes in the poly weren’t as good as the ones outside but the seedlings did really well in the poly, I have two sets of shelves for seedlings, so I do need to do more of that. More successful were the melons and salads that I grew winter. So the list for growing in the poly this year in summer are melons, aubergines, peppers and some cucumbers. I’ll also sow some spinach and chard in the beds in spring and more tender plants and hardly lettuce in autumn and winter

Composting

I’m slowly getting better at composting but I think my key takeaway from this year is that I need to turn it more often and make use of the wood chip when it’s there. Another allotmenter bags wood chip in used compost bags and leaves it for a year and says that works well. So it’s something for me to think about!

Weed more

I’m not sure I’ll ever be entirely on top of it but I do need to implement one weekend session on the plot each month entirely for weeding and see if that helps. Next month it might be every weekend because it’s so overrun!

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The Kitchen and Plans for the flat

July 2009

I’ve lived in my little flat for 13 years. When I was originally looking for a flat, the estate agent asked me to list the three most important things to me and I said a kitchen, unfurnished, I could put a table in and a garden. This flat was perfect except for the garden (and I got around that eventually by getting the allotment!). The kitchen has been both the best and worst thing about the flat.

July 2017

The best because I can get a table in it and still move around it and the worst because, it’s not a great kitchen. It was badly installed sometime before my landlord bought it. Which means that some cupboards don’t have backs and there are massive gaps between the wall and the countertop (which is very handy for the visiting mice), there aren’t that many cupboards so storage is a problem. Aside from that, the kick boards aren’t attached either and it’s a shiny blue which is really difficult keep clean. The oven isn’t actually attached to the wall, so opening it can be interesting and the sink is the bane of my existence. It’s a stupid little round sink, the type that people with dishwashers have because they think that they won’t need to wash up (which is stupid anyway because there is always something that won’t go in the dishwasher) and there is no draining board on a wooden countertop. Last year, a tomato seed took root in the rotten wood around the sink!

Hang on little tomato

Finally, the kitchen floor, like all the floors in the flat, were stripped back to the original planks and varnished. In keeping with our running theme, not well, so gaps weren’t plugged, nails weren’t levelled and one coat of varnish wasn’t enough, which means, when I clean it, it kills mops and doesn’t ever look clean. So it wasn’t great 13 years ago and it’s destroyed now, although I’ve done my best not to destroy it.

Sometime after 2013 – the white cupboard is staying

My landlord is a decent chap and has been making noises about replacing the kitchen since just before COVID lockdown. Last year he asked me to give him an idea of what I would want in a new kitchen, so the lady from Wickes came and did a plan early last year. My wants were all about how I use the kitchen. I was unfussed by a dishwasher, because it’s just me and I can wash up. I wasn’t going to ask for an expensive kitchen with fancy countertops because they are expensive. No, I wanted the oven moved and on the wall instead of beneath the counter because that makes sense if you cook a lot, I wanted two fridge freezers (one of which I’m prepared to pay for) because I need an allotment fridge/freezer, I wanted a proper sink with a draining board and the gaps in the counter top boxed in because it looks nicer. Finally, I wanted lino or laminate floor that would be easy to clean (I grew up with lino, it’s apparently not cheaper than laminate nowadays) and as many extra cupboards as I could get.

All of this is going

It taken a while, because the Wickes quote was very expensive (I did suggest another configuration that would be cheaper and get most of what I wanted – sink, storage, extra fridge freezer) but to my landlord’s credit he’s going with the original plan and doing some maintenance to the flat too. The kitchen ceiling and one of the walls are going to be re-plastered, the window replaced and the wall built up to ensure no gaps and he’s going to vent the cooker hood, so it actually extracts, he’s also going to put acoustic underlay down too so it’ll be warmer and quieter (there’s no padding between my floors and downstairs’ ceilings, so it’s a win-win for all of us.

Bye bye kitchen

If you’ve been around here a while, you’ll know that there is other work being done at the same time, one of the bedroom walls need re-plastering, the lights in the hall need replacing and the fuse box needs to be metal so that will be replaced. Which is why I moved out for the best part of the month and why moving back in will involve a lot of work. I need to paint the bedroom anyway and I have Christmas money from Ma, that I’m finally spending on a proper wardrobe and replacing a chest of drawers. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve donated about 7 bags of assorted clothes and kitchen stuff to charity shops and throw away over a wheelie bin’s of things that weren’t fit for donation. I have a feeling that, as I unpack, I’ll get rid of more things. 

The empty bedroom

2023 is the year of the flat and of truly making it the calm, easy to live in place I need and want it to be.

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Monday Miscellany: Living with Mother

Happy Monday!

As you may have guessed from the title, I’m now at Ma’s for the next two to three weeks, if it goes into four, I may have to check into a hotel to preserve our relationship and our sanity!

So last week, my stress container overflowed. Hello migraine and a sore back. I did the first session of my Mental Health First Aider course and spent some time catching up with the work that didn’t get done over the past couple of weeks while I was covering for a colleague.

I more or less got through the week, Ma came over on Friday to help with more packing and I went home with her and another suitcase! While at Ma’s, I sorted out my ticket to work for next week. (I’m so glad that old age has taught me to do stuff like this before I need to, so I wasn’t queuing on Monday morning, frustrated at how long it’s taking.)

Then I went home to do more packing, make a batch of marmalade and have a final bath (I will wash but Ma doesn’t have a bath only a shower and I love a bath!). On Sunday, Ma came over to help me with the final bits and pieces and a brief visit to the allotment.

Then we said goodbye to the flat, in the customary Dempsey fashion it was done.

Back to Ma’s flat on the bus and hello to living with Ma. I think it’ll be fine, Ma thinks it’ll be fine, everyone else is nervous. I’m reminded of when Christelle and I decided to share a flat, we were fine everyone else was dubious but it worked and at Ma’s I just do as I’m told, because I’m not in my house, and it’s not like I’m in the house I grew up in, I’m very much in guest mode!

The thing that will be difficult will be working in the office for five days in a row for the first time since 2022, the commute involves one of my favourite walks along the Thames, so that’s a consolation. Plans for the weekend are to respect Ma’s, and my, need for space. On Saturday, I’m off to Mike and Christelle’s for dinner and on Sunday, back to Ealing to feed the birds on the plot and go to Sue and Richard’s for drinks to celebrate Richard’s birthday.

So quite social for me all week, that walk to work from the station each morning and back in the evening much actually be my only alone time!

Have a good week!

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Eat Real Food

I hope I’ve been honest about how I cook and eat food because it’s important. What we eat is important for our health but it’s not only that. We live in a world that is experiencing climate crisis. Where not enough of us have enough to eat and yet ,in this country, food that farmers grow is often sold for less than it costs to produce. Where some of the farming methods used to grow it are actively detrimental to the health of the soil and wildlife. Food isn’t just about food.

When you have £20 to feed a family of four because the rent and the bills are just too damn high. Then you may not be able to care about the type of food you buy and I get that.

I’ve been there, I spend 2016, right here documenting what I bought and ate and cooked on a budget of £15 a week. And to be clear before that when I was unemployed, £15 a week wasn’t just for food it was my entire disposable income. I started cooking from scratch, partly because it’s what I grew up watching my mother do, because I enjoy it and, because I was unemployed and had the time.

Now I do it because it’s what I do and I feed myself so if turns out wrong or not so great so what? To quote Nigel Slater, “we are just making something to eat’. I also learnt to can, changed what and how I bought things, started to eat a lot more of what I grow and all of that has had an impact on my food choices.

All of this to say and explain, I know I’m privileged with, knowledge, time, equipment and the freedom that comes with not having to please anyone but myself but I still think it’s important.

Jess at Roots and Refuge has started a You Tube series about how to start cooking from scratch and if you were thinking about it, this would be a good place to start. Jess is from the American South so some of it might not resonate or be practical for the UK but I think it’s a pretty reasonable place to start.

I started with bread and hummus, because I’ve always been funny about bread and eat a lot of hummus. But of the examples listed, I make mayonnaise, buy ketchup, use mostly olive oil and butter, don’t eat margarine and, grate my own cheese.

I do buy processed food, I don’t like milk, so banana nesquik is a compromise that gets 200ml of organic whole milk and my collagen peptides in me every morning (because collagen is working to help my joints and wrinkles and I’m of an age that

I do buy processed food, I don’t like milk, so banana nesquik is a compromise that gets 200ml of organic whole milk and my collagen peptides in me every morning (because collagen is working to help my joints and wrinkles and I’m of an age that osteoporosis is a worry). My food standard is do the best I can for my health, the planet and the farmers. I try to eat seasonally and mostly when I don’t it’s Oddbox, there are huge reasons I’m not vegan but I do try to be fussy about the type of meat I buy, which is mostly from The Dorset Meat Company.

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Sunday Music: Scritti Politti – Umm

It just popped into my head this week so here it is…

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Friday Links: If you think everything is fine, you’re not paying attention

Happy Friday!

I don’t know about everyone else but it feels like 1992 (I’ve been saying that for a while), back then, things felt awful but I’d not really known anything else, Thatcher came to power when I was five, I was 24 before I remember living in a country without Tories in charge. That lot were terrible, the wonder of the uselessness of the current bunch, it that they are making Thatcher, Major etc look competent, intelligent and reasonable. It’s horrific..

High inflation is to blame for these strikes, not trade unions

Don’t tell me that David Carrick’s crimes were ‘unbelievable’. The problem is victims aren’t believed. Marina Hyde nails it again…

The story of Britain’s pools and leisure centres is one of neglect, decay and the lies of levelling up

Those on the left fell for the property dream too. The first letter is what I have basically saying for 20 years because that’s how long it’s been a problem. I’m going to be the last generation of my family born and raised in London because of it..

“Large numbers of us have been suffering from this inequality-fostering system for 20 years or more, but it is only now that it is affecting upper-middle-class circles that it is being talked about”

Has Ofgem grasped the scale of disconnection of people on prepayment energy meters? I can safely say no, I also would like to note that rent and energy bills are the bills I pay firsts. Also that I have a direct debit plan with my energy provider because it’s easier (though slightly more expensive) to make sure that you’re paying instead of a quarterly bill.

How is it right that MPs are still free to receive money from lobbyists and second jobs?

Time Is on Ukraine’s Side, Not Russia’s

Underground resistance: Dads from front-line Ukrainian city build deluxe bomb shelters

Andrew Tate isn’t feminism’s inadvertent bastard child. He’s sexism’s last gasp. I remember the backlash to the idea of all female shortlists, it was apparently ‘outrageous and unfair’ on men and boys. I remember an article about it (sorry I can’t remember who wrote it) that asked us to consider, whether after 2000 years of patriarchy, perhaps it was just women’s turn to benefit from favouritism based on sex. More recently, something I use in my own life is to remember that when privilege is taken away, it feels like discrimination. Tate and his fans basically want to behave badly, without consequences and life shouldn’t, and for the most part doesn’t, work like that. (Unless you’re a member of the Royal Family or Boris Johnson).

Unraveling the Secrets of the Sarcophagi Found Beneath Notre-Dame Cathedral

Why Chickens Need to Stop Breeding With Their Wild Cousins

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