Sunday Music

Posted on December 18, 2011 by nicdempsey

For Unto Us a Child is Born..

From Handel’s Messiah, I know some people go and listen to the Messiah at Christmas, for us it’s an Easter thing, the whole scope of the thing, fits Easter, when I’m thinking about the miracle of resurrection. This though is for Christmas and sums up all of it. The smallness of a baby, just an ordinary thing and the largeness of what He will become, what He will do. At the same time the hugeness of just a tiny baby, of every tiny baby and the overwhelming joy they bring (it says nothing of the sleepless nights and endless nappy changes but you can’t have everything!)

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#resound11: Home is…

Posted on December 17, 2011 by nicdempsey

So behind on these, it’s been a mad week.

How will you resound?When did you feel most at home this year: in your life, in your space, in your career, in your skin? What factors make that situation feel like home? Do certain comforts make your space feel like home? Does being with certain people make you feel complete? Is there an activity in which you excel that makes you feel like you’re doing what you were meant to do?

This is your life. Where do you live? Where is home?

Home is here

I can honestly say that my flat is where I’m comfortable, where I’m home. I’m lucky to have it.

There are other places that I feel at home too. At my Mum’s, increasingly with at Ben and Lu’s (where I’m writing this, having put the boy to bed!). They’re places I always feel like me, with my family, where I am truly known, good and bad, and loved. Which is the definition of home.

I feel at home in places I’m somehow meant to be in, that can be uncomfortable places, where I’m called to stretch myself, this year that was in currating my first Grace service ‘God’s Not Fair‘. I’m not sure I’ll ever do another one, but it was something I was really called to do.

This year in Middleham, where I have wanted to go since I was a young impressionable teenager.

In July, when I spent a night looking after my nephew because it was the only thing I could do for Ben and Laura besides pray. In September, when I went to Belfast because I just wanted to check on Ryan with my own eyes!

So I guess for me home is a place and a feeling of doing what God put me on earth to do, for the times when I’m sure and certain of it

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Another morning without a lie in

Posted on December 17, 2011 by nicdempsey

I’m up early to go and see this little man

while his parents go and have a day (and a night) off.

So I won’t get a lie in tomorrow either! Somehow I don’t think I’ll mind too much!

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Christmas Tree decorations

Posted on December 16, 2011 by nicdempsey

I love my tree!

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Early mornings

Posted on December 15, 2011 by nicdempsey

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I leave the house at 7.30am in the morning. At the moment it’s in the dark and all the street lights are still on, it’s pretty. Not pretty enough to stop me wishing for the summer but pretty enough I stop cursing the world for thinking that it’s acceptable to be up at such an unnatural hour*

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*I am completely aware that in the great scheme of things leaving the house in time to get to work at 8.30am is not that much of a hardship, especially when you consider how early train & bus drivers and doctors & nurses need to be up. I still maintain it’s unnatural though!

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#resound11: Best Gift

Posted on December 14, 2011 by nicdempsey

Today’s prompt is brought to you by Krissie from Questions for Dessert and @krissieb.

The holiday season is typically a time we focus on others, sometimes at the expense of ourselves. I can get so caught up in the expectations of the season that I have a hard time remembering to enjoy the peace and wonder of the season. I can forget to take time to care for myself. So lets look back on how we cared for ourselves. Maybe we’ll inspire each other to take a few minutes for ourselves today.

What was the best gift you gave yourself this year? Did you buy big, fluffy towels? Did you have a massage on a day when you really needed it? Did you forgive someone and give yourself the freedom from that grudge?

How will you resound?

When I saw this prompt this morning, I immediately thought of things. Was my best gift to myself my properly fitted running shoes, the lemon squeezer, the whiskey?

The best thing I gave myself this year was that I learned to take responsibility only for the things I was responsible for. This is hard for me, I’m one of those people who thinks that everything is down to me and this feeling, that when something goes wrong it’s because I didn’t do enough or didn’t do it right, means that often end doing things that are bad for me ’cause I’m trying to make everything right.

I know exactly when it happened. It was when I was helping T & C move. It was an emotional time all around, I was sad because the house at St Leonards Road was somewhere I had loved living in and for all it represented and I wanted to talk to one person and I couldn’t because he had stopped talking to me and while I could guess why, I don’t know because he didn’t tell me, he just stopped calling and wouldn’t take my calls. There wasn’t anything I could do about it but that didn’t stop me feeling responsible.

During that week, I was sad for that lost friendship but I finally understood that it wasn’t my fault. I had done all I could, I was allowed to feel sad but I had no control over the decision Craig had made. I didn’t kill a 10 year relationship, he did. I wasn’t responsible.

After that something just clicked. I wasn’t responsible for not having a job, but I could take some action to get a new one, I wasn’t responsible for having bad knees but I could take responsibility for not making them any worse, I’m not responsibility for having SAD but I am responsible for managing the symptoms, I’m not responsible for trains and buses breaking down, but I am responsible for leaving the house in good time so I’m not already running late when the bus does break down . Once I stopped worrying about the things that were happening that I wasn’t responsible for, I could deal with the things I was responsible for. I’ve done that, it makes me happy and I’m leaving this year in a good state of mind.

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#resound11: 12 in 12

Posted on December 14, 2011 by nicdempsey

Take today to talk about 12 things you would like to accomplish in 2012. These 12 things can be 12 resolutions, 12 changes in your life, 12 wines you’d like to drink, 12 cities you’d like to visit, or 12 monthly goals. The decision is yours. Good luck and have fun!

How will you resound?

This is hard, which is why it’s taken me an extra day, because if I say them, I have to do them. That means I can’t be half-hearted about them but at the same time they have to be realistic. So deep breath..

1) I will make exercise part of my life again, whether that’s running, bootcamp, classes or very long walks. I will to spent 2012 making it a priority. 2-3 times a week, nothing scary..

2) I will eat properly. I know about the drastic impact good food choices make to my life. This doesn’t mean that I won’t eat cake and have the odd cocktail but I will be more mindful about what I choose to eat.

3) I will set monthly goals. This is working for me at the moment and I’m not saying that I will always meet those goals but having something to aim at really helps.

4) By the end of 2012, I will work towards being 12st (that’s 168lb or 76kg to everyone else). That’s about 34lbs. I’m aiming for a pound a week and if that all went to plan would hit that goal just in time for Christelle’s wedding! However, I’m not going to aim for that, I’m going to say by the end of the year because stuff happens!

5) I will take more photos and learn how to use my camera! I have a lovely DLSR camera but I often end up using the ‘little’ one to take photos because it’s easier and I don’t really know how to use the DLSR to it’s fullest extent. This year Sarah has asked me to take photos for her wedding and I’d like to do it to the best of my ability which means getting to grips with the camera.

6) I will go on holiday this year. I don’t really do holidays but I would like that to change, starting this year.

7) Buy a new wardrobe. The one I have was a cheap canvas and wood thing I bought when I moved into the flat, it was less than £30 and never designed to last this long.  Currently the only thing keeping it upright is some strategically placed boxes. Time to treat my clothes better and tidy up that messy corner of my bedroom.

8) I will go to the cinema once a month. When I was in Fulham, Ma and I went to the cinema practically every Sunday. It’s harder to do in Ealing, but I’m going to budget for once a month movies.

9) I will learn to crochet. Because I can’t and it looks like fun.

10) I will have a clear out. I have too much stuff, in 2012, I will look at the things I have,  clear out the things I don’t need and use and organise the things I have better. (Like all things that might have to start in the kitchen!!)

11) On that note I will start to clear down the ‘To Be Read’ list. I’ve read 69 books this year and very few of them are from the pile!!

12) I will do another bootcamp with Jem. I’ve really enjoyed this one, despite the dodgy knees and miserable weather.

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No Time

Posted on December 13, 2011 by nicdempsey

So there was stuff that I wanted to write about. Books and Christmas Trees and mince pies and so much other stuff.

However, I’ve decided to prioritise mental health and sleep. The mental health stuff comes in the form of being prepared for the week and having a tidy flat. So I spent Monday night doing the household stuff I couldn’t do at the weekend because I was feeding 20 people and trying to buy a pair of jeans! I’ve done the ironing, changed the bed, put a wash on, dealt with the rubbish and recycling, hoovered the carpets and swept the floors, cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, made Tuesday’s lunch, washed up and tidied the front room and bedroom. I did sit down for 30 minutes when I had dinner but that’s about it.

As I write this, it’s 9.50pm and I’m going to bed.

Tomorrow I hope to be more interesting.

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#resound11: Best Meal

Posted on December 12, 2011 by nicdempsey

What is the best meal or best food that you have eaten all year? Did you make it? Did you get it at a restaurant? Do your best to describe the food and the experience with us.

The problem is I’ve had so many good food experiences and picking one is hard. At home, Easter was pretty good. I cooked lamb with anchovies, garlic and lemon with new potatoes, peas and spinach. This was followed by pavlova. It wasn’t just the food though. On Easter morning, some of us from Grace had gone to Hampstead Heath for an Easter Sunrise service and then back to Gill’s for breakfast (another great meal!) then home for a sleep. Later on Kathy, Adam, Dean, Gill and my mum came for lunch.

It was a great afternoon of eating, drinking and talking but it was more than that. I realise looking back on it that it was about the joy of being at the table with people who knew that Easter was something more than a bank holiday and a chance to eat chocolate eggs. It was being with a community of people that knew like I did that Easter is a celebration of when everything changed because He was dead and now He lives. Apart from that morning on the Heath (Mum and Dean weren’t there) we didn’t talk about it, we didn’t pray together or say grace or do anything overtly Christian but we knew.

The food was great too..

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#resound11: High/Low

Posted on December 12, 2011 by nicdempsey

Today is a bit of a choose your own adventure: write (paint, draw, photograph, record, etc.) about your best experience this year. If that’s not your cup of joe, write about your worst experience. Feeling chatty? Share both your best and worst moments.

I’ve worked really hard over the past couple of years not to have too many high/low moments. I have a tendency to do rapid mood swings and major drama and I don’t like it. So I’ve been working on keeping myself on an even keel. The best and worst moments in any life tend to be mixed though so some small good things have been bordered by horrible stuff, so lots of the best moments happened when I was looking for work and was trying not to be miserable.

However, best moments have been the holiday in Northumberland (4 castles, 1 ruined priory, top holiday!), spending time with Max and Murphy and finally getting a job (the relief of knowing that I was going to be paying my bills was overwhelmingly good!).

The worst, watching Ben and Lu go through something terrible and not being able to do a thing about it except pray, losing the job at Peabody, having to sign on at the job centre.

 

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