What I’ve Read – September 2013

She-Wolves: The Women Who Ruled England Before Elizabeth – Helen Castor

This has been on my to be read list for ages. You couldn’t tailor a book more perfect for my interests, medieval English history and the role of queens. So I knew I’d like the subject matter and this really drew me in, I knew the rough outline of the history but there was lots of detail I didn’t know and seeing each story one after another helped to see the development of the ‘rules’ such as they were. I really enjoyed it, if you have a thing about medieval history, you should read this.

Falls the Shadow – Sharon Penman

This is technically a re-read, I read this ages ago but She-Wolves put me in mind of it so I read it again and I really enjoyed it again!

The Transfer – Veronica Roth

I’m waiting for Allegiant and this short story was an easy read to get me out of the medieval world and into something else. Which it did quite nicely.

The Bitter Kingdom – Rae Carson

I really enjoyed the story of this book. I liked that all the mysteries weren’t cleared up. What really hits me now I’ve read all three books are the things that you want to see in a series that are going into the hands of impressionable teenagers – Elisa gets things done because of herself but also because of the people that she loves and who love her. The book models different kind of love, not just romantic love. Which is also important because in this book Hector’s life is at stake and although she does everything she can to save him, Elisa is aware that she would survive his death and do what she needs to do. Hector also isn’t the first person she’s been in love with, which is a refreshing change from the ‘he’s my only true love, I’ll never love again’ trope that comes up so much in YA. I also like that Hector, as difficult as he sometimes finds it, lets Elisa make her own decisions about how safe or not she should be and he can take orders from her. Finally I love that the reason she’s special (she has a Godstone which indicates that she has an act of service to perform) isn’t the story we’ve been following for 3 books. Sorting out treaties and preventing civil war, not her act of service or the concern of the God in this universe, no that God is concerned with water! I’m really sad to leave this world and Elisa but I’m happy about where it ended.

Fangirl – Rainbow Rowell

This book didn’t feel like YA. I think that a bookshop would bung it into a New Adult category. I liked it and I liked Cath. I liked that she was set up as the dysfunctional twin but actually wasn’t, that she finally started to grow into herself and learn what was real and important and what wasn’t.

Longbourn – Jo Baker

I wanted to read this for a while, however, it is worth pointing out that I’m not a massive fan of Pride and Prejudice, unlike some of my friends, I don’t re-read it every year. I enjoyed the book, more in the first than the second half because I think in the second half there was almost too much story. There are things that are left unsaid in P&P that Baker makes part of her story, Bingley’s profiting from the slave and sugar trade, the wars and the need for able bodied men are two examples and Baker does show the reader the sheer drudgery of working in service at the time “If Elizabeth had the washing of her own petticoats, Sarah often thought, she’d most likely be a sight more careful with them”

Baker is also nicer about Mary and Mr Collins than Austen ever was and it’s her sympathy for the underdog that comes through. Worth reading but if you love P&P, you may not like this much and the Bennetts don’t show well in this story.

Eleanor and Park – Rainbow Rowell

So I read Fangirl and enjoyed it far more than I expected and lots of people whose opinions I admire suggested that this was worth a read. I didn’t enjoy it as much as I expected and I kept nitpicking. I would recommend it to others but it didn’t quite click for me.

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What politicians fail to understand…

We are in party conference season at the moment, with each of the major parties trying to convince voters that they have all the answers and that we should vote for them. This week it’s the turn of the Conservative Party. Their slogan is “For Hardworking People”

So far the two major policy announcements are:

1) a £200 tax break for lower rate tax payers but only if they’re married. Because married people are better and glue society together. I obey the law, work and pay taxes. All of which counts for nothing as my single and childless life is ruining society. Which honestly, I think is silly but I can live with.

2) A ‘crackdown’ on  the long term unemployed. Which involves making the long term unemployed do community work (picking up litter, cleaning graffiti) or go to a job centre every day or go on a full time course to sort out the underlying reasons for their joblessness. Failure to do this will result in sanctions, that means taking away benefits for 4 weeks in the first instance and 3 months in the second. This is the one that scares me…..

George Osborne says that you “For the first time, all long-term unemployed people who are capable of work will be required to do something in return for their benefits to help them find work….But no one will get something for nothing. Help to work – and in return work for the dole.” 

Current estimates are that there are 200,000 long-term unemployed. I was unemployed from August 2009 to April 2010 and then again from April 2011 to November 2011. That isn’t considered to be long-term unemployment but it felt like it and I wrote about it at the time.

In February 2010, I wrote this about why I felt so hopeless:

The major problem with being unemployed isn’t the lack of money, it’s the sense of hopelessness.  I spend time applying for jobs and hearing nothing back. The benefits system adds to that hopelessness.  I can’t get a part time or lower paying job to tide me over because then I lose all benefits and if I can’t cover my rent, I’ll be homeless (as a single childless adult, my chances of getting social housing is mimimal and how am I going to get a job if I don’t have an address?) .  When I go to sign on, I turn up on time but have to wait 30 minutes, I never know when housing benefit is going to be in my bank account, so am constantly on edge about money.  I’ve worked full time since I was 19, I want to work, God knows I’ve applied for enough jobs, but I’m treated as if I’m not trying, as though I deserve nothing.  I listen to the radio and hear that people on benefits don’t want to work and have unrealistic expectations (thanks Frank Field) but I don’t think that it’s unrealistic to want a job that pays enough to cover my rent and bills, is it?

In June 2011, when I had a temporary job, I wrote about the problem with benefits and the cost of working:

My point is this, the problem isn’t benefits, the problem is work.

Work should pay enough to support living. Work should cover the cost of things like rent and food and bills and saving for a pension. I don’t think that’s unreasonable, not all of us can be bankers not all of us have parents that can set up trust funds or buy us houses.

The truth is that if work doesn’t pay enough to make someone feel like it gives them a future, then that’s how people feel. Like they don’t have a future.  Hell, I do work and I feel that my future is bleak, so why bother? I bother because I hope that at some point it will come around that it will change, I have earned more, hopefully I will again, I feel I have to try.

Accepting that you will live your life on benefits,  is really about despair, it’s about believing that your life will never get any better, that you don’t deserve any better and that even if you had a job, it wouldn’t help, life would still be rubbish and you’d still struggle. No amount of telling people in that mindset, that they are sponging, that they are useless is gonna get them to work.

In August 2011, I wrote this about my experience of signing on and how I was treated:

At 8.30am on Monday 25th July, the job centre wasn’t open. A group of us stood and waited. At 8.40am they opened the doors. At no point during the time I was there, did anyone attempt to apologise or explain why they were late opening the doors.

At 8.45am – ish, a lady starts to talk to us about the packs we have been given. She tells us that we can have 14 days a year off from job seeking but we can’t go abroad, that we must attend every 2 weeks to sign on or we could lose our benefit, that if we have an interview and that is the reason we can’t attend, we must call them and let them know, that we will have an appointment today and sign a job seekers agreement, that if we don’t keep to this agreement we will loose our benefit, at no point does she introduce herself and the ‘presentation’ is all over the place and hard to understand because her English isn’t that good.

After this we go to have the interview and make the job seekers agreement. I wait 30 minutes before I am seen. We talk about my skills, she looks at my CV, etc. My next signing on appointment will be in 2 weeks at 10.40am. I’m told it’s on the 2nd floor and given a cycle letter.  That’s it.

2 weeks time. I arrive at 10.35am, I was at my Mum’s the night before, so I go straight there, I have a coffee in my hand, I’m told that I can’t take my coffee in as I might commit violence against the staff with it. Ok that’s a fair point, until I notice the cups of tea and coffee that the staff have on their desks – what’s to stop me committing violence with their tea and coffee. There’s a big sign saying ‘No mobile phones’, my book is on my phone, so I switch it to airplane mode and start reading. “No” says the security guard,

“But it’s on airplane, I can’t make any calls with it”

“No mobile phones allowed” he repeats.

It’s nearly 10.40am, it won’t be long until I see someone. At 11.05am, I hear someone saying, what sounds like my name…”Ms Demps, Ms Demosay”, I figure it’s me they’re calling and I get up but I can’t see anyone calling my name. That would be because they are around the corner and sitting down. I get there and say hello, I sit down, I say “it’s Dempsey, my name”

“Oh” says the man, who didn’t stand up, didn’t apologise for the 25 minute wait, is wearing a sweatshirt, “Where’s your job search booklet?”

I hand him the booklet I have to fill in to document what I have done to find work. He reads it, signs it hands it back to me, gets me to sign something and tells me I can go. I haven’t had a letter from anyone confirming I’m going to get any money, does he know what’s going on with that? No he doesn’t, call this number downstairs.

I didn’t enjoy unemployment, I tried to apply for at least one job every day, I got up and got dressed and went for a walk and then came back and spent at least two hours a day, changing my CV, writing letters etc. Longer if there was an application form to complete. I volunteered to get me out of the house and to try and keep my spirits up, I babysat for a friend, I helped T&C move and I did everything I could think of to get myself out of unemployment. I took all the help the Job Centre offered me. I went to the CV workshop and they told me they couldn’t make any changes to it that would improve it and asked if they could show it to the others in the group as a good example. I went to the ‘re-training’ appointment and was told that my ‘A’ levels and the NVQ I did in Administration meant that I wasn’t eligible for any of the training they offered.

In the last 10 years, I’ve never had an interview that didn’t result in a job offer, I interview really well. It was getting the interview that was the problem and I still couldn’t tell you why, of the hundreds of applications I made, I was only asked to 3 interviews in time I was unemployed (two of the jobs were temporary contracts). I have a permanent job now and financially things are better but they are still rocky because I earn less money and my rent 56% of my income after tax, utilities, energy and food is more expensive but I’m actually better off than a lot of other people. I worry about not having any savings or security of accommodation when I retire but it’s ok and I have 27 years to worry about that and work to resolving that issue.

The long-term unemployed have it worse than I did when I was unemployed, there may be work out there but that work probably isn’t near where they live or they’re not able to do it. They are already living on the edge economically and they can’t afford to move where there might be work and anyway that would mean losing housing and support networks. The lowest paid and unemployed are often the people who pay the most for energy (pre-pay meters) and, especially if they don’t live in cities, food because there’s one supermarket and you have to get the bus and that costs more money. They have tried to get work and been subject to the demoralisation that comes with almost constant rejection and the Job Centre, which is not a place that anyone comes out of feeling positive or optimistic.

Welfare spending in 2011/12 was 29% of government spending, 13.5% of GDP. Of that 42% was on pensions, housing benefit and winter fuel allowance for the elderly. 20.8% was spent on tax credits and housing benefit for people in work. (source). I couldn’t find the figures on how much of housing benefit goes to private landlords but I bet it’s a significant amount of money.

So instead of trying to resolve the problems of work, or education, or housing, or living costs. Or telling the true about where the money spent on welfare actually goes. The plan seems to be, blame 200,000 people and punish them for not being able to find work. Make it harder for them and  talk about “no one getting something for nothing”.

Hope that no-one notices that there’s been a tax cut for higher rate tax payers, or that George Osborne has a trust fund based off shore so it avoids tax. If they make the rhetoric good enough maybe it’ll distract the public from noticing how many Cabinet ministers benefited from the higher rate tax cut or that MP’s expensive are still rising.

Maybe.

 

 

 

 

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The Weekend

Friday night started as is traditional with pizza and wine, although Ma came over to stay too.

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The plan was G&T, pizza and wine, and one whiskey after pudding. Except I only had bourbon in the house! Ma was very disappointed and we had ginger wine instead, but it was definitely a daughter fail!

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I was up early on Saturday morning to make sure the house was tidy for a visit from my landlord.  That done, we wondered down to Papillon for pain au raisin, one of the things that I love about where I live is Northfields Avenue, it’s got a decent butchers, bakers, cheese shop, fishmongers, there’s a childrens bookshop a couple of laundrettes and dry cleaners, the junk shop where I got sofa, and lots of other shops, including Papillon that has the best pain au raisin (even the French people I know agree with me!).

Then we went home to eat the pastries, drink coffee and wait for the landlord. Owain was just coming around to check a crack in my bedroom wall which has got much bigger over the summer, caused we think by the 4 months of building work that the neighbours did, it was pretty major 24/7 work and on a couple of occasions, I had to go round at midnight to tell them to stop!

That done, we sorted out Ma’s phone.  She has decided to join the 21st Century and start using my old iPhone 3!

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That done, we basically just arsed about, we shopped and visited The Cheddar Deli to buy all the cheese.

Ma left at about 5pm and I went home to read the paper and eat cheese for tea!

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On Sunday, I did nothing, it was almost as if I’d used up all my productivity on Saturday and had none to use on Sunday. I did finish the paper, bake bread, do my ironing but other than reading, very little else.

How was your weekend?

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Sunday Music

I’ve been listening to the The Civil Wars album since it came out (on my birthday) and every time I heard this song, I was very aware that it sounded like something else and it’s been bugging me.

Then it hit me in a flash, Had Me a Girl sounds like Norwegian Wood by the Beatles. Then I spent some time hitting myself with something heavy because it’s so obvious. ‘I once had a girl’ is actually the first line of Norwegian Wood.

I am an idiot.

Here they both are so you can compare and contrast.

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Friday Links

If my posts this week haven’t been a guide, my default mood this week has been sick and/or grumpy, however, it’s Friday and I had a really strong coffee this morning so I’m running off that and the joy of a lie in tomorrow morning!  Not that many links this week, it’s not really been a week for reading but if you click on one thing, make it the Sesame Street link, the perfect way to start a Friday!

1) Best pope ever, still pretty terrible. Until he actually does something good, I’m reserving judgement.

2) This is so wrong, on so many levels. I can’t even. I would tell him where he could put those sandwiches.

3) Chas and Dave have re-formed and apparently everyone loves them now!

4) Smokers in the UK. Interesting

5) There is nothing I don’t like about this version of the Sesame Street theme.

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Four Things

So after yesterday’s very grumpy post, here are four things that I really like at the  moment.

Bourjois Magic Nail Polish Remover

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Ok so it’s not actually magic but it is quick, not messy and doesn’t seem to dry my nails as much as the usual removers do. It’s also really good for removing glitter.

Philosophy Purity Made Simple Foaming Cleanser

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I ran out of my Dermalogica and decided to try this instead. My face feels clean but not dry and tight and seems to be helping clear the acne on my chin, which turned up in my 20’s and refuses to entirely leave. Even my mum likes it!

Philosophy The Present Skin Perfector

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I’ve been quite happily using the M&S Autograph Primer but I ran out and a friend of mine has been raving about this, so I’d thought I’d give it a go.  I like it, it’s a tiny bit of a faff as you have to put it on and leave it for 2 minutes, which is usually the point that I finish my coffee in the morning! My make up goes on smoothly and it makes me look more awake and fresher. Which at my age and with my current level of tired is a miracle.

Autograph Ultra Shine Twist Up Colour in Nude

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I used to wear a lot of lip gloss, this is a great half way house between gloss and lipstick, it’s solid but goes on like a gloss just a bit less messy.

What are you loving at the moment?

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Grumble, grumble, whine and moan…

So it’s Wednesday and after a night and a day and another night of not being very well (thank you migraine, please don’t feel free to visit again!) I’m back at work and as much I would like to be a lady of leisure, seriously, why would you work if you didn’t have to?, I’m glad to be at work because it means that I don’t want to drive a spike through my head to stop the pain. Yeah, I do know that maiming myself won’t actually make the headache go away but while it’s happening, I feel like it might work!

However, I’m grumpy, very, very grumpy.

I’m fed up with the migraines, I’m eating well, exercising, taking all of the vitamins that might help but essentially for 2 weeks a month I feel lousy and at least once during that time, I can’t see straight and I’m confined to lying in bed trying not to do anything to make the pain in my head worse. Looking on the bright side, since the beginning of the year the frequency and duration of them have decreased but I want them to stop and my body isn’t co-operating and there isn’t anything I can do.  So I’m not a happy bunny.

I’m also in a bad mood because it’s September and today I’m going to moan about autumn.  I’m not a fan. Over the past couple of weeks the internets have been full of posts waffling on about cool, crisp days and leaves changing colour, also excitement about pumpkins (mostly pumpkin spices lattes) and Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even my actual real life friends are doing it…

Honestly, I think they’re all either a bit touched in the head and/or don’t live in the UK. Let’s break this down.

1) Autumn almost never a season of cool, crisp days in England, it’s cold and wet and grey and dark. It’s dark in the morning, it’s dark at night. What’s good about that? Also cold weather means having to wear closed in shoes, my feet want to be free and not encased in boots!

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2) Pumpkins are not that great. Also why would anyone ruin the delicious coffee flavoured coffee with a huge dose of flavoured sugar and milk.

3) Halloween not a big deal in the UK if you don’t have kids and if we’re going to get all enthused for Halloween, could I make the case for apple bobbling and games and scary stories and if you must, pumpkin carving, as is traditional for England. Instead of trick or treating. I know that in the US it’s a traditional and that’s great, I love reading about it on US blogs but I can’t shake the feeling that here, it’s just begging. Especially as the kids that knock on my door generally aren’t in costumes and are teenagers, which kind of spoils the magic. Although I’m told by my neighbours that the rule on my road is that if you’re house is decorated in a Halloween-y way, the kids will knock and if it isn’t they won’t. This seems like a good approach but I can’t help but feel that trick or treating is Not Right and yes you may call me a curmudgeon if you wish.

4) Thanksgiving is a fine holiday, a time to take stock of your life and be thankful for the things you have. However, it’s an American holiday and ok, Canada has a Thanksgiving but for obvious reasons, we don’t do Thanksgiving. We do have Bonfire Night though, where we celebrate foiling a Catholic plot to blow up Parliament with fireworks and burning effigies on bonfires. It’s pretty grim, but it’s what we’ve got and we had to learn this rhyme at school and got to play with sparklers, which was quite fun. This year it falls two days after Diwali (actually Diwali falls two days before Bonfire Night, as it changes according to the Hindu calendar and the position of the moon), so West London is going to be fireworks a-go-go, people and pets of a nervous disposition should stay indoors with earplugs!

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6) Please, people don’t ruin the magic of Christmas by starting it early! Advent is when you should start to get excited about Christmas, trees should go up on Christmas Eve and come down on Twelfth Night (ok I except that that might be a bit fundamentalist but if you put your tree up in November, you’ll be bored of it by Christmas Day!)

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Having got that off my chest, I feel much better. There are nice things about this season, there are warm duvets, there are the birthdays (brother, best friend, nephew and mother), I eat a lot of soup around this time of year. All of this is good, I would just like to do it in the summer!

What about you? Do like autumn, what’s your favourite thing? Or would you just rather sleep until the sun comes out again?

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No pain, no gain

Last week, I thought I had broken myself.

I’ve resumed my gym going because I know that exercise improves my mood and we’re heading into winter and I need to do what works. Unfortunately I have body that hates exercise and a mind that needs it!

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So I went to the gym on Tuesday night, did 5km and broke my knee. Ok, I didn’t actually break it however, on Wednesday morning, it hurt. A lot and (cue minor whine) I would really, just for once in my life, like for there to be something wrong with me that a doctor could fix without me having to do anything about. However, my knee issues aren’t fully fixable and the things that will help with the pain are all down to me and I’ve been neglecting them. For example my knees ‘creak’ when I go downstairs and even if I don’t have any pain there’s nothing that will stop the noise they make and alas I will never be a ninja!

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I blame my flat footed parents who passed them onto me. I am completely flat footed and have quite serious (and often painful) bunions, they are also really ugly! That (the flatness and the bunions, not the ugliness) causes my hamstrings to be very tight and pulls everything else like my knees out of alignment.

I know what works and I know that I haven’t really been doing it. So I’ve started to get back into the groove of daily stretching and foam rollering. It hurts and it’s not a good pain but it is a necessary pain.

On a side note, we hear that pain is bad and to be avoided at all costs. I’m not so sure, yes pain is a sign that something isn’t working properly but experiencing pain is important. I think that pain is often necessary and that we have to face it and work through it, in order to feel really well again and that applies to both physical and emotional pain. (and I’m gonna stop before I get any more pompous..)

So here’s the plan.

Non gym days

Morning – Stretches + physio exercises

Evening – Foam roller and tennis ball hell + stretches

Gym days

Morning – Stretches + physio exercises

After gym – Foam roller and tennis ball hell + stretches

Evening – Foam roller and tennis ball hell + stretches

I don’t like causing myself pain but I do know that it hurts less if I do it  every day and I’m not going to make it through the winter with sanity intact if I don’t get to the gym. So I find myself in the weird position of inflicting pain upon myself to stop things being painful.

What do you do that you really don’t want to but you know you have to in order to function?

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The Weekend

This weekend started with Friday Night Pizza at home and rest and books and breaking a wine glass! It happens…

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On Saturday, I tore myself away from my book and got myself on the train to meet Ma and go to Watford. We had a lovely afternoon just hanging out, playing games with Oli. Who isn’t a great loser but if you’re loosing will re-assure you with a “don’t worry, it’ll be ok”.

We had dinner together and then Ben and Lu headed out to their thing and we put Oli to bed. Ol was mostly ok, upset when his Mummy and Daddy left but went to bed ok. Three and a half hours later he woke up and had a cuddle with Grandma!

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Ma and I didn’t get to bed until 2am ish, so Sunday morning was slow. Breakfast, shopping and after Ma went home, dinner and a very early night. I have no major plans for this week, in fact a totally blank diary! Time to catch up on sleep!

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Current favourite necklace

I seem to be wearing this one all the time.

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It was a Christmas present I bought for Ma but she decided after about a year that it was too much for her short neck (her words, I think it looks great on her!) and I borrowed it for Sarah’s wedding and Ma didn’t want it back.

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