Life Happened – Migraines and Rainy Sundays

Last week was actually a quiet week personally but a busy week at work.

I had a migraine on Tuesday, which was not fun. I’m doing all the stuff the doctor says to try and some months it feels like it’s working and others it doesn’t. It does really limit the things I can do in the week, if you can’t stay up later than about 9pm, life becomes pretty limited, I was supposed to have dinner at Kathy and Adam’s this week but had to flake out due to migraines.

The rest of the week was pretty sedate, I worked, came home and went to bed early.

Friday came round and I overslept. I’m blaming the yoga on Thursday night, I don’t oversleep often but the last time in June last year, was when I started the yoga in the evenings, so I’m blaming it again.

Once I actually got into the office, I realised that I forgot to take the pizza dough out of the freezer, why do you always remember those things when it’s too late to do anything about them!

My plan for the weekend, was about home and getting things done. On Friday night I went home, ate salad and went to bed, such is my rocknroll lifestyle.

I had a really productive Saturday morning. There was cleaning and ironing and sewing. Ma came round on Saturday night for dinner and stayed the night so we had a nice breakfast on Sunday.

Our clocks went forward on Saturday so we felt short on sleep on Sunday and a nice breakfast was called for.

After breakfast we went out to do some shopping and got caught in the rain, which was a recurred theme of my Sunday

After Ma went home, I potted the lemon geranium cuttings. 

And had opinions about vodka martinis…

On Sunday I finally got to see Kathy and Adam and the small people. I got caught in the rain on the way over. The rain was really epic and as soon as I got to K&A’s, my coat had to go in the dryer. 2 hours later, the children were telling me that I was all wet!

There was Lego and other games with the children, who still think I’m awesome. Man, I like those kids (I would like them anyway, ’cause they’re great but it’s nice that we’re all excited to see each other!)Kathy cooked dinner. Dinners that you don’t have to cook are the best dinners! Chilli and cornbread is such good comfort food too. It was so nice to go home on Sunday evening and know that I could go straight to bed!

This week is a four day week because of Easter, I have no plans for anything besides work and body balance until Friday, when I’m having a lie-in!

 

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Sunday Music

Ma and I had a disagreement this weekend about the quality of the music she grew up with in the 60’s and the music I like. We have agreed to disagree but she’s wrong.

She doesn’t really like this song either. I do. I sort of feel it’s a Lent song…so just for Ma!

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March Recap and April Goals

March has been a much better month than February. I’m finally beginning to feel human but am going to bed really early (anywhere between 8 and 9pm.) if it’s true that an hour of sleep before midnight is worth 2 after midnight, I’m well slept! It’s getting lighter in the morning and evenings and that’s helping enormously and the clocks go forward tonight so I do feel like Spring is on it’s way!IMG_2827

So let’s recap March’s goals

  • I’ve been averaging 2 classes a week at the gym and it is getting to be the norm.
  • I’m getting to bed early, I’ve cut down on the use of screens before bed and while I’m still tired and I don’t sleep well, that’s not new.
  • My eating hasn’t been as mindful as I’d like, I was doing really well and then PMT hit. I feel like I’m on the verge of a migraine all the time and one of the things that helps is sugar. I need to look at that and maybe just find better sources of sugar (ie fruit) but I’m still happier than I was about my diet
  • Books, I bought 2 books this month (I spend a whole £5) still well within my limits!

April Plans and Goals

April is generally a nice month. 4 birthdays (Sarah D, Laura, Adam and Tom), it’s Easter (so yay for Bank Holidays!) and it’s a sunnier month. This April will be full of election stuff too. Looking at the month, I have plans over Easter weekend (helping on the allotments, lunch for Laura’s birthday) and I’m already down to babysit for Kathy and Adam on Adam’s birthday, no other major plans! The National Portrait Gallery has an exhibition about Wellington on at the moment and I’d like to get to that this month.

BODY

More of the same in April, I want to up my target for gym classes to eight in the month and work on reaching 10,000 steps every day, in a work day I get about 7,500 so more effort to get 10,0000.

I want to keep on with the sleep and eating but I also want to do a short wind down yoga routine bed bed, it helps me relax and the gym and the walking will tighten up my legs and hips, stretching them out is a good thing!IMG_2825

HOME & MIND (BOOKS)

No book buying this month, ideally, I’d like to have my 10 left for October and a trip to Barter Books!photo

HOME GENERAL

I’m working on not buying things for the house which is going really well because I have no money! I’m thinking more about cleaning things and so on. This month, I want to focus on the kitchen and have a clean of cupboards and maybe get rid of some kitchen things that I don’t us.

  • Clean the oven
  • Clean the kitchen cupboards
  • De-clutter the kitchen

IMG_2811

MONEY

Spend no more than £150 on everything after rent and bills.

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Friday Links

Happy Friday! This week I have opinions….it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise. Have a good weekend..

1) Enough of the dry politics of numbers, we need a vision

2) If America is so fond of Prince Charles, they should keep him. I think they’d feel differently if they had to pay for him!

3) How Harlequin became the most famous name in romance. (via Smart Bitches)I didn’t realise how much of that was tangled up in Mills and Boon.

Harlequin was unashamed about going where its customers were—and its customers were women, often housewives. They knew they were selling to women, and they chased women’s dollars without embarrassment or apology. And let’s face it, being associated with women is often the shortest route to being dismissed in the broader culture as fundamentally unserious.

4) Since when did obedience become the epitome of good parenting? Some days, I read something and it feels like I live on a different planet to the author, ’cause it doesn’t seem to me that we live in a society that prizes obedience in children. The comments on this are fascinating though. This one is pretty much what I think

I think there is a difference between blind obedience and a respect for others – a child does not naturally become considerate or sensitive to the rights or needs of others. A teenager or young adult who has not had the grounding of being taught – sometimes on a “because you are not the centre of the universe/ others also want what you want/ learn to share/ I am your parent and can better judge than you what is good/ bad for you” -basis – how to be a part of society of equals cannot reasonably be expected to exhibit behaviour that enables them to get on with others, have successful relationships or show consideration or altruism when appropriate. An outcome of this kind of behaviour is certainly not an inability to question unreasonable instructions or challenge others on rational or ethical basis. But there is such a thing as a spoilt child and a child to whom “no” is a rarity is often the child of lazy parents who want to be their child’s friend, not parent.

and this pretty much the attitude I was brought up with

We have general rules:

1. If I ask you to do something, it’s because it’s important. I’ll explain if there’s time, if there isn’t time, you can ask for an explanation later. But for now, obey.
2. If I explain and you think I’m being unjust, you can put your case and I’ll listen – when there’s time. But if I say you need to obey now, then obey now.
3. If after explanations and discussion I agree that you’re right, we change the rule. If we still disagree then, I’m afraid, tough luck – you’re doing it my way.
4. And unless the facts on which the decision in rule 3 was reached have changed materially, then I don’t want any more backchat or non-compliance.

Rule 4 is necessary, otherwise our house would resemble a court of appeal that was in session 24-hours a day, 365 days a year. It can be fecking exhausting, but I think it strikes a balance between obedience, justice and the need – desire – to allow their characters to develop without repression.

5) Dress like your mum did. Like Jess Cartner-Morley, I was born in 1973, and I refuse to dress like my mother did in the 70’s. No, no, no, you can’t make me. Which is probably why fashion is not my friend…

6) Teaching human evolution in Kentucky. I know there are people in the UK who don’t believe in evolution (I’ve never met any) but it’s a small minority but roughly half of all Americans reject the theory. That’s batshit insane…

7) Why we execute people is the question not how. This is in response to Utah deciding that people can be shot by firing squad if they can’t be killed by lethal injection. I’m pleased to see that support for the death penalty is (finally) a minority opinion in the UK.

8) Last minute attempt to unseat the Speaker is defeated. When members of your own party stand up in Parliament and says that you’ve behaved dishonourably, it’s really bad. William Hague’s last act in the House, shouldn’t have been this..

 

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Random Thoughts

IMG_2827When I woke up this morning my knees and feet hurt and when I looked out the window, I realised why. It was raining. My weather predicting limbs are back!

The weather cannot make up it’s mind, is it Spring or is it still Winter. Yesterday was a beautiful, sunny day, today it’s cold, raining and miserable. My only consolation is that at least I’m not in Boston, which seems to be experiencing a Game of Thrones type winter. IMG_2825I also wonder if cultural attitudes are affected by the weather, would we be a more cheerful people if it rained less?

We’re about to jump into a General Election, Parliament is dissolved on Monday and then everything will be unbearable, the radio will be full of politicians not answering questions.

One of the questions I want answered is why MP’s behave like badly behaved five year olds during PMQ’s. Seriously, I want to send them all to the naughty step until they learn civilised manners.

I need to bake a cakeIMG_2749

I also need to clean the oven, the latter is not unconnected to the fact that I haven’t done the former.

Everybody in the office is tired. Some of us are tired and moaning, some of us are tired and quiet but we are all tired and all drinking coffee like it’s going out of fashion.

The jumble and randomness of this post is reflective of the inside of my head this lunchtime. Which really can’t be good!

 

 

 

 

 

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Library Love

Before Christmas, I finally got my act together and prompted by the knowledge that I was going to severely restrict my book buying this year, I re-joined the library.

Although the primary reason was selfish, I also wanted to show my support of libraries in general, with the severe cuts that are happening within local authorities, libraries are under threat and I feel that we’re entering a ‘use it or lose’ it phase with our local services.

I was a library baby for years. Ma used to take us when we were little, but in junior school (7 to 10) my primary school used to timetable trips to the library every month. I think the headmaster, Mr Jennings, who was a very strange man but also really enthusiastic about learning, felt that it was a useful thing to teach us how to use a library. We weren’t just set free on the books, we were also taught how to use the library catalogue, how to look up information for projects and so on.

When I was a teenager, I was always in one library or another. At school, I practically lived in the school library*, it was there I learned to cover books and put them back and eventually I helped choose the new fiction books. After school, I went to the library on the way home, and worked my way through the books there, eventually I got a job at the main library, for two evenings a week, I got to shelve books, work out the intricacies of the Dewy Decimal System and if it was a slow night, cover and repair books. I had to give that job up when ‘A’ Levels got in the way but I’ve always loved the magic of libraries. So after a 15 year or so lapse, I’m back!

Ealing Central Library

Libraries have changed since I was last here. Ealing contracts it’s library service out to Cultural Community Solutions (Carillion) and you can do a lot more online, including joining the library, and reserving and renewing books.

nicI registered online in December and then went into the library on Christmas Eve and they issued me with a library card and key fob there and then. There is a desk service but you can also check books in and out using the machines.

I can borrow up to 15 books for 3 weeks, you can also borrow audio books and DVD’s. You can renew books online and check the catalogue to see if they have a book you want. Because CCS runs libraries for 4 boroughs you have access to their books too, you can reserve books online and check to see where they are, when they arrive or your books are nearly due to go back, they send you an email to let you know. The ability to reserve books is probably my favourite thing, especially since they stopped charging for it – I have about 10 books reserved, but email to tell me that my books are due back is the thing that will stop me paying ridiculous finds.

If you have a computer and internet at home the list stuff you can access with your library number is pretty impressive, The Times Archive, the Oxford University Press Online Reference, Encyclopædia Britannica Online (of course!) and loads of other stuff, you can also practice for your theory driving test and your Life in Britain (citizenship) test.

If you don’t have online access at home, you can use the computers at the library.

Library membership also gives me access to ebooks and e-audiobooks too. I don’t have any out at the moment but I can borrow up to five.nic

 

I love the library service and am just generally gushy about it.

Are you a member of your local library, love them, hate them? Do you use it to save you money or is the thrill of owning the books better?

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*fun fact, every year Ma takes a holiday with ‘the ladies’ and one of those ladies is Ruth who was my school librarian. Ruth is absolutely the worst person ever to be let loose on ‘innocent’ children but I will always be grateful for the way she let us use the library during school lunch times and took our advice about what would get the rest of the school into the library!

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Life Happened – A tiny bit cross

Before I start with the usual recap. I need to issue a correction. In the St Patrick’s Day post, I said that Oli goes to gaelic football ’cause his neighbour TJ does. The fact checkers (hi Ben!) would like me to note that Oli started going to gaelic football because his swimming instructor’s child went and Oli went along too. Then TJ started going.

Right back to what I’ve done with the past week. The answer is not a lot. I did manage two body balance classes, there was a departmental team building afternoon on Wednesday and I played Ping Pong, I’m still pretty useless! IMG_2861My hyacinth blossomedThere was also an eclipse on Friday that no one in London could really see because it was so cloudy, it was dark for a bit, then it wasn’t. The sunset was pretty though!If you’ve been around this space this week, you will notice that I had lots of strong options (here if you missed it!), sorry, I’m not sorry. However, ranty I was here by the weekend I was marginally more calm.

Other things done this week, Ma and I have decided that we are going on holiday. Our usual trip north but not until October, we can’t go in September as usual and were going to skip it but decided this week that we would miss it too much so we’re going! (Ma is away in June, we’re in Wales for Ryan’s wedding in August so really it’s the only time we can’t go!)OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAMa came for Friday night pizza on Friday night, she stayed over.IMG_2872We arsed about on Saturday. Went to the library, went to Ma’s and ate chicken and coleslaw sandwiches (food of the Gods) and then I headed off to Christelle and Mike’s. It was an evening of firsts, I was early, C & M cooked. The lamb was amazing…We talked and drank wine and generally caught up.

I got home about 2pm and did some housework and lazing around.

This week I have a gym class booked every day this week, and that and work and dinner with Ma on Saturday is all I have planned. Nope, I lie, I’m popping over to Kathy and Adam’s tomorrow, for a catch up and some fun with toddlers. The clocks go forward this weekend so lighter evenings, yay!

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Sunday Music

This has been going through my head for the last couple of weeks, so now it can go through yours!

 

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Not everything has to make us happy.

It was pointed out to me yesterday morning that I was a tiny bit ranty. It’s true, it’s partly my natural inability to cope with what I see as fuckwittage and also PMT, I just don’t have the energy to remember to be graceful. Everyone may be fighting a hard battle but they can bloody well remember that I’m not an idiot or a skivvy and behave accordingly. Also my language would make a sailor blush. I’m all kinds of fun to be around at the moment.IMG_2823

But it’s the ‘happy’ myth that is the particular focus of my ire today.

It’s my Christian friends that think that Jesus will fix it. Which is ridiculous, as I keep saying, “Jesus doesn’t promise to make it all better, He just promises to be with you even when it’s shit”.

It’s ‘Do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life’ bollocks that gets spouted so often. Nope, if you chose to make your passion your job, you’ll just end up loving it less.

This is what set me off this week.

You know there are some things that you can decide to do that make you happy but they won’t make you happy all the time. What I love to do is lie around reading books, with occasional forays into cooking, drinking cocktails and maybe a bit of travel. That’s what would make me happy. You know what I wouldn’t love, being homeless, so I have to abandon the things that make me happy to go to work so I can earn money, so I don’t have to live on the street.

I’m pretty good at what I do for work but I don’t get excited about expenses, arranging meetings or writing reports. I take some pride in doing it as well as I can because that’s what you do, it’s what my mother taught me. You could argue that if I had different work, work that I loved, I’d be happier to be there, and maybe I would, but much of the way that society runs, relies on people doing things they don’t love. Parents love their children but no-one likes changing a nappy or being up all night with a screaming baby. Society would crumble if everyone only did what they loved or what made them happy.

We can’t be happy all the time. Emotionally, it’s not sustainable. Thinking that we should always be happy makes us discontented with the lives we have. IMG_2534

So this is my challenge. Look at your life, really look. It’s probably not perfect but if you’re reading this, you can read, you have access to the Internet, which means you probably have a computer, and a place to put it in. Which probably means you have a place to live and a job. If you have all those things, you already have a shitload of stuff to be happy about. Think about what life would be like if you didn’t have what you have. As a culture, we are so focussed on the next thing that will make us happy. If we had the perfect partner or a better job or a baby or more friends or we travelled more. If think that if we were fitter/thinner/richer/prettier our lives would be better but we’ll still be the same people and likely we wouldn’t be happier just looking for the next thing that really would make us happy.

There are things you can be other than happy. You have tons of things to be grateful for and most of the things you are unhappy about you can change.

Stop looking for happiness. Stop expecting to be happy all the damn time. There are other good emotions beside happy! Surprisingly enough, when you stop focussing on happy, you start to get happy…DSCF4898

 

 

 

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Friday Links

1) The most important political issue of the moment? Ed Milliband’s kitchens. He’s right, but there is a part of me that wonders what a man with 2 kitchens really understands about the lives of the people for whom the ‘functional kitchenette’ is a decent kitchen. Also worth pointing out that Sarah Vine, who’s article in the Mail kicked this off, is married to Michael Gove and here is an article (from the Torygraph) about his expenses claims. Over 3 years, his claims came to more than his annual pay. Mmmm…

2) I’m a bit late with this but it’s fascinating. What is blue and how do we see colour?

3) If bankers want the gain, they should feel the pain.

At present the financial uber-class expect to have the best of both worlds – all the rewards of being in charge without paying the price of responsibility. It’s an individual version of the injustice laid bare during the great crash: that while gains are privatised, losses are socialised. The bankers get the big bonuses when things go right, the taxpayers bail them out when things go wrong.

This is why people don’t vote, they feel that no-one in power is ever called to account but that ordinary people always are. Get your benefit claim wrong, be sanctioned or worse sent to prison, but avoid tax and nothing happens.

4) The rise of Wetherspoons. My first thought when reading this was ‘ it’s Boston, of course it is’ but where do people go when they can’t afford heating and the libraries, community centre and other public spaces are gone?

The chain is now the nation’s fifth-most-popular place to have breakfast. Its accessibility in terms of price makes the march of ’Spoons’ seem inevitable, particularly in a world in which public space is ever-shrinking: it lines its pubs with books while libraries are closing, and competes with supermarket beer prices while offering more company than a living room or kitchen.

5) The ideas that define Benjamin Netanyahu. Doesn’t make his thinking right but makes it understandable.

6) I didn’t leave Labour, they left me. That’s been true for a while now. Labour didn’t start talking about a cost of living crisis or about ‘generation rent’ until it was a problem for their middle class children. It’s been a problem for working class kids for a while longer than that and we won’t inherit property from our parents and access to social housing has dried up and the Shadow Work and Pensions Secretary doesn’t want to represent people who claim benefits, who are unemployed. Five years ago, I’d been unemployed for 9 months. Yes, I do go on about it quite a bit, because it was an awful time and the horror of it (and it was fucking awful) has stayed with me. Even with state support, without my mother’s financial and emotional support, it would have been a lot worse. 5 years later, I’ve not financially recovered, I don’t as much, I can’t save, my rent has increased £100 a month. Being unemployed now is much, much harder. Being in work now is much harder, 1.03 million people who have work are claiming benefits to make ends meet. She might have chosen her words poorly but that she can even say that horrifies me.

7) I’m puzzled by this. Israel must pay a price, but that price is not sanctions, or cuts to military aid, or subjecting Israel to prosecution under the International Criminal Court, or supporting a Palestinian-backed United Nations resolution that would demand the establishment of a Palestinian state within a year, with no corresponding promises to Israel. Gaza and the West Bank are currently subject to sanctions, and cuts to aid even though they’re trying to rebuild Gaza after the Israelis bombed the shit out of it. In February Israeli settlers backed by soldiers walked into Abed’s Shop in Hebron destroyed it. Why, seems because they can and no-one is going to stop them. (Pictures from Rafat Shomali via Jenny Baker)

Look, I’m not arguing that Arabs are good and Israelis are bad. I think there are decades of hatred and conflict on both sides. However, what you HAVE to start doing is calling out both sides for bad behaviour, you can’t apply sanctions on the Palestinians for rockets and let Israel do what it wants with no reference to international law or censure. There are great honking sanctions on Iran ’cause they might be trying to develop nuclear weapons but  Israel as had nuclear weapons for years with nothing done. Unless and until the US starts actually holding Israel accountable (and Israel’s argument often boils down to it being civilised and Western) for it’s behaviour behaving accordingly, then Israel is going to continue to do what it likes. Meanwhile, Palestinians will continue to support Hamas because being moderate doesn’t work, Israel just takes more.

 

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