Books read in January

1. Shades of Grey – Jasper Fforde
2.
The Demon’s Lexicon – Sarah Rees Brennan

Loved this, loved it so much I went straight out and bought the next one. YA and urban fantasy and full of great lines ‘Of course Nick was expected to get rid of the body.’
3. The Compleat Rifleman Harris – Benjamin Harris
I reckon Benjamin Harris may not have been entirely truthful about how much everyone loved and respected him and how honourable he was at all times. However, I figure that having been through some of the battles he did, he’s entitled to a little padding. This book also led to someone on the train telling me about his great grandfather who fought in the Peninsular Wars though not in the 95th!
4. Grace – Elizabeth Scott
This is a novella, I read it in one sitting and it was disturbing. Elizabeth Scott writes witty, lovely engaging teenager romances and then stuff like this and Living Dead Girl that haunt you, leave you with more questions than answers and are quite horrifying. I would recommend it, but not to anyone that has nightmares.
5. Anna and the French Kiss – Stephanie Perkins
This is a really sweet book. Characters are as believable as an American going to high school in Paris would be, they felt real. One thing, the love interest is half French, half American raised in London. He would not say ‘me Mum’ when referring to her. This maybe, is one of those turns of phrase an American heard and loved, no, no, no, it’s wrong and pulled me right out of the story. He wouldn’t use it, what kind of Londoners does Stephanie Perkins know and are they having fun with her? (Yep it really got to me!) Other than that, it was great and I intend to give it to my friend Jane’s daughter for her next birthday.
6. The Demon’s Covenant – Sarah Rees Brennan
Also loved, annoyed I have to wait until the summer for the third, favourite lines, “I wasn’t threatening you I was menacing you” and “Friends don’t menace friends with giant terrifying swords”
7. True Grit – Charles Portis
I need to read this one again. I have a feeling I will hear layers of meaning from Mattie when I read it again. That will have to wait until I see the film and my mother has read the book.
8. Never Let Me Go – Kazuo Ishiguro
This book was annoying and haunting at the same time. The matter of factness that our narrator had about her situation, almost the lack of feeling. The 3 characters were childlike and I did wonder if perhaps they were cloned to be stupid. Underneath the story was this sick version of the world and I was more and more horrified by the world Kathy, Ruth and Tommy lived in and at the same time more and more horrified by their total acceptance of their fate.
9. One Day – David Nicholls
I wish this had come with a warning. It was great, I loved the concept, I wanted to know what happened to them, I read some of it wanting to know what was coming but really not wanting either of them to make idiots of themselves. The last part of the book just reminded me so much of the days after Stef died, I almost couldn’t continue. Lovely, sad, hopeful
10. The Queen of Attolia – Megan Whalen Turner
I loved The Thief and I loved these. Beautiful writing, twisty plot, I was convinced it would all come right but had no idea how. I loved it so much, I finished it last night and picked up the next one..
11. The King of Attolia – Megan Whalen Turner
..which I read in one sitting this morning. I feel exactly the same way about this and I did about the other two.

So eleven books in thirty days. Not sure want I’m going to pick up next though. That’s 7 of the books that were on the list I made at the beginning of the month so not too bad.

Posted in Books, reading in 2011 | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Other People’s Children

just got home from a night at my neighbours. Petra and Tony have just had baby no. 2 and I said before Christmas that if needed I’d come down and watch baby no. 1, Liam, if they needed.

Last night, Petra went into labour and I went downstairs. Liam woke up in the middle of the night and started crying for his Mum. He was quite when he saw me but cried as soon as I left the room. Well it must be a bit of shock waking up and seeing your upstairs neighbour in your room and no sign of your parents! So I slept on the day bed in Liam’s room. d

On Tuesday, I’m going to have dinner with Jo and see ‘godchild’ 6.

Next weekend, I’m spending Saturday in Watford looking after Oliver.
At some point this week, I need to spend some time with godchildren 2 to 4 (fortunately they are all under one roof), Luc and I have a new book to start and Helene has something she wants to tell only me. who knows what Elise and Josh will want when I get there.

It’s a staple of chick lit that single people get asked to godparent because they are single and we are supposed to resent it. In truth, sometimes I am so sad that I don’t have children and that I probably won’t now. Harder than that is the way, my singleness is considered by society to be less valuable, less important than that of ‘hardworking’ families.

I work hard and I do contribute and last night Tony was able to be at the hospital, with his wife because I could just go downstairs and sleep in Liam’s room. Ben and Laura can go out and have some time by themselves because I’m having Oliver. Ryan (who is now 26) had a place to go when he was a stroppy teenager, because I had a space he could stay and didn’t have to worry about putting the kids to bed. My godchildren have a space in me that isn’t their parents but is a safe space. It does take more than parents to raise a child, it takes a whole heap of family and friends and even society and I’m a big part of that. So there.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Books…

It’s been said that I have too many books. I maintain there is no such thing…

This year though what I do have is too many books that I haven’t read or haven’t finished. This needs to change. For 2011, I’m going to list them here and mark off when I’ve read them. Please bear in mind that I don’t own all of them!

1. The Compleat Rifleman Harris – Benjamin Harris read
2. Tales from the Rifle Brigade – Captain Sir John Kincaid
(both of these are the books that I bought Ma and are doing the rounds of the family, we’ve finally got Ben interested in the Peninsular Wars so now we’ll all obsessed! And I need to grab the Harry Smith memoirs whilst we’ll at it!)
3. Shades of Grey – Jasper Fforde read
4. One Day – David Nicholls read
5. A Week in December – Sebastian Faulks
6. A Gambling Man – Jenny Uglow
7. The American Civil War – John Keegan
8. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks – Rebecca Skloot read
9. A History of Christianity – Diarmaid MacCulloch
10. The Last Dragonslayer – Jasper Fforde read
11. Homicide, A Year on the Killing Streets – David Simon (I have started it, but it’s a very big book and hard to carry on my morning commute!)
12. Linger – Maggie Stiefvater read
13. True Grit – Charles Portis read
14. The Return of the Prodigal Son – Henri J. M. Nouwen
15. South Riding – Winfred Holtby read
16. Skulduggery Pleasant: The Faceless Ones – Derek Landy
17. Skulduggery Pleasant: Dark Days – Derek Landy
18. Skulduggery Pleasant: Mortal Coil – Derek Landy
(all to be read with godchild no.3 – who loves them also because I like children’s and YA fiction and the godkids are a great excuse!)
19. Safeguard of the Sea – N. A. M. Rodger
20. Battle Cry of Freedom – James McPherson
21. A Brief History of Medieval Warfare – Peter Reid
22. Ellis Island – Kate Kerrigan
23. American Wife – Curtis Sittenfeld
24. Shirley – Charlotte Bronte
25. War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy (yeah I have friends who read this as summer projects when they were 13, I was reading trash, what can you do?)
26. Middlesex – Jeffrey Eugenides
27. The Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
28. The Red and the Black – Stendahl
29. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay – Michael Chabon
30. The Macmillan Diaries: Cabinet Years 1950 – 1957 – Peter Catterall
31. Last Train from Liguria – Christine Dwyer Hickey
32. Macmillan: The Official Biography, Part One – Alistair Horne
33. Macmillan: The Official Biography, Part Two – Alistair Horne
34. The Knife of Never Letting Go – Patrick Ness
35. Aristocrats – Stella Tillyard read
36. The Queen of Attolia – Megan Whalen Turner read
37. The King of Attolia – Megan Whalen Turner read
38. Rifleman Costello – Edward Costello
39. The Demon’s Lexicon – Sarah Rees Brennan read

So nearly 40 books. That probably tell you an awful lot about me and my reading habits. There will be other things I read in 2011. At some point, I’ll re-read a Georgette Heyer or two, there’s a biography of Wellington I’m waiting to come out in paperback, two Cassandra Claire books and a Melissa Marr (more YA).

So I’m going to spend the rest of the night reading…

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Cold and Christmas

Today I left work early, bringing work home, only to find I have forgotten to email the document I was working on. I should have known it was going to go like this. At 6.30am, I opened my fridge to get the milk and found that last night I put three glasses (the ones that you drink out of) in the fridge, instead of the cupboard. I blame the cold and the stress it is putting on my limited usable brain cells.

Speaking of the cold, it’s nasty and renders me bunged up, croaky, unable to think straight and extremely grumpy. I mostly spent the weekend in bed, except for the couple of hours that Ma came over yesterday and we went out to buy a Christmas tree. So at least the tree is up.

The grumpy mostly comes (I think) from the growing sense of panic I feel that it’s 4 days from Christmas and I have bought a grand total of 4 Christmas presents. Two of those are for Olly. Although I am aware that I need to get a move on and buy the damn things, I can’t really summon the energy or enthusiasm for any of it.

So it’s going on the list of things to do tomorrow and I’m going to bed!!

Posted in Christmas, Sick, work | Leave a comment

A year ago

2 days old

This little boy was born and in that year has turned into this

At his 1st birthday party

I can’t believe the difference that having him around has made to our family.

Posted in Family | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Brother

Ben had a birthday last week. I said last week that for at least the first 25 years I wanted to be an only child, in the last 10-ish, I’ve changed my mind and decided that’s it’s nice to have him in my life. I don’t want to be an only child anymore. (And I’m not the reason that he has no hair!!)

Posted in Family | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

In which Anna is made of awesome

Anna at Little Red Boat was going on a trip, she had an idea and Snailr was born.

My postcard arrived on 25th Sept, I got back from Belfast and was ridiculously happy to get it.  I was also very tired and very hungover so haven’t got around to putting up photos of it.  It’s been sitting on my kitchen table and it was starting to look a bit cross, ’cause I wasn’t doing what I said I’d do. (I live alone inanimate objects do talk to me…)  So I’m not going to work early and I’m doing it now!!

Back of the postcard says:

We are reliably informed by the onboard trails and rails guy (a volunteer from the national parks service telling us what we’re looking at) that the tunnel we’re going through is the second largest in the USA, and moreover, that it was built (?) by men tunnelling from both ends inward, as well as from right in the middle outward, yet somehow, they still managed to end up with a tunnel like this: ________________

I think that If I had been invovled it would have ended up more like this (see drawing!) so it’s probably good that I wasn’t a railway engineer of the 1800’s. Phew, eh?

I need to say it again, although I don’t actually know Anna in real life, I think she is brilliant.  And I will be writing more postcards in future….

Posted in Travel | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Belfast

I’ve been back a week and the hangover lasted 3 days.

Good to see everyone and I really enjoyed hanging around with Ryan and Ruth (and on Sunday all Ruth and I were doing was hanging!!) 

Ryan now has proper glasses for manhattans (eventually all my godchildren will learn to make one and then my work is done!!) and we had many…

Posted in Booze, Family, Friends, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Champions

Chelsea won the Premiership.  Like Waterloo it was a ‘damned close run thing’

And it makes me happy

That is all

Posted in Chelsea | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Detatched from the world…

I have now been unemployed since September.  I’m still me, I still listen to Radio 4, I still take photos, I still love to read, I still want to see my friends and family.

Some things have changed, I have a nephew and and a god-daughter that I didn’t have in September, I have a much cleaner house, I have less money and more time.

My life is gradually shrinking.  I can’t commit to doing things because I don’t know if I can afford them.  For instance this week I can’t go and visit Jo and Tabitha (friend and god-daughter) in Putney, because I don’t have the £2.30 to get there.

You see, my rent goes out on the 20th of each month, all my other bills are set to be paid around the 26th, which is when I used to get paid.  JSA goes in twice monthly and Housing Benefit…well Housing Benefit goes in whenever the hell Ealing Council fancies.  The last week in Dec they paid Dec and January’s all together.  This February’s they haven’t actually processed yet, so it won’t be in my bank account until 1st March. I’m lucky, my mother will lend me the money so I won’t go overdrawn and get charged fees.  Ealing Council’s erratic payment schedule for Housing Benefit won’t plunge me further into debt.

What if I didn’t have a safety net?

This is the problem, the benefits I receive (and yes I am very grateful for them) don’t cover my living expenses.  Not my credit card payments, not my nights out, not my mobile, not my internet.  They don’t cover my rent, gas, electric, water, food.  I live in London, in a one bedroom flat, it’s a lovely flat, but it’s not expensive for the area.  Housing Benefit doesn’t cover the rent, bills don’t go down, even on benefit you have to pay some Council Tax, the only variable are the misc expenses, food, travel, clothes, toiletries (for which I budget £20 a week). So every month I am in debt and on a knife’s edge. (To add insult to injury the £64.50 a week, JSA is taxable!) I am constantly worried about whether the bills will get paid on time and trying to keep the bank account running.  So it would be really useful if I could have a definite date that my Housing Benefit will be paid.  Because that’s the way most of the world works, my landlord wants paying on the same time each month, utilities companies want paying on the same time each month (and paying bill to bill is more expensive.) Why is it different if you are unemployed?

The major problem with being unemployed isn’t the lack of money, it’s the sense of hopelessness.  I spend time applying for jobs and hearing nothing back. The benefits system adds to that hopelessness.  I can’t get a part time or lower paying job to tide me over because then I lose all benefits and if I can’t cover my rent, I’ll be homeless (as a single childless adult, my chances of getting social housing is mimimal and how am I going to get a job if I don’t have an address?) .  When I go to sign on, I turn up on time but have to wait 30 minutes, I never know when housing benefit is going to be in my bank account, so am constantly on edge about money.  I’ve worked full time since I was 19, I want to work, God knows I’ve applied for enough jobs, but I’m treated as if I’m not trying, as though I deserve nothing.  I listen to the radio and hear that people on benefits don’t want to work and have unrealistic expectations (thanks Frank Field) but I don’t think that it’s unrealistic to want a job that pays enough to cover my rent and bills, is it?

I’m really trying here, but the world I used to live in is getting further and further away and I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever get back.

Posted in Work or not | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments