This little boy was born and in that year has turned into this
I can’t believe the difference that having him around has made to our family.
This little boy was born and in that year has turned into this
I can’t believe the difference that having him around has made to our family.
Ben had a birthday last week. I said last week that for at least the first 25 years I wanted to be an only child, in the last 10-ish, I’ve changed my mind and decided that’s it’s nice to have him in my life. I don’t want to be an only child anymore. (And I’m not the reason that he has no hair!!)

Anna at Little Red Boat was going on a trip, she had an idea and Snailr was born.
My postcard arrived on 25th Sept, I got back from Belfast and was ridiculously happy to get it. I was also very tired and very hungover so haven’t got around to putting up photos of it. It’s been sitting on my kitchen table and it was starting to look a bit cross, ’cause I wasn’t doing what I said I’d do. (I live alone inanimate objects do talk to me…) So I’m not going to work early and I’m doing it now!!
Back of the postcard says:
We are reliably informed by the onboard trails and rails guy (a volunteer from the national parks service telling us what we’re looking at) that the tunnel we’re going through is the second largest in the USA, and moreover, that it was built (?) by men tunnelling from both ends inward, as well as from right in the middle outward, yet somehow, they still managed to end up with a tunnel like this: ________________
I think that If I had been invovled it would have ended up more like this (see drawing!) so it’s probably good that I wasn’t a railway engineer of the 1800’s. Phew, eh?
I need to say it again, although I don’t actually know Anna in real life, I think she is brilliant. And I will be writing more postcards in future….
I’ve been back a week and the hangover lasted 3 days.

Good to see everyone and I really enjoyed hanging around with Ryan and Ruth (and on Sunday all Ruth and I were doing was hanging!!)

Ryan now has proper glasses for manhattans (eventually all my godchildren will learn to make one and then my work is done!!) and we had many…

Chelsea won the Premiership. Like Waterloo it was a ‘damned close run thing’
And it makes me happy
That is all
I have now been unemployed since September. I’m still me, I still listen to Radio 4, I still take photos, I still love to read, I still want to see my friends and family.
Some things have changed, I have a nephew and and a god-daughter that I didn’t have in September, I have a much cleaner house, I have less money and more time.
My life is gradually shrinking. I can’t commit to doing things because I don’t know if I can afford them. For instance this week I can’t go and visit Jo and Tabitha (friend and god-daughter) in Putney, because I don’t have the £2.30 to get there.
You see, my rent goes out on the 20th of each month, all my other bills are set to be paid around the 26th, which is when I used to get paid. JSA goes in twice monthly and Housing Benefit…well Housing Benefit goes in whenever the hell Ealing Council fancies. The last week in Dec they paid Dec and January’s all together. This February’s they haven’t actually processed yet, so it won’t be in my bank account until 1st March. I’m lucky, my mother will lend me the money so I won’t go overdrawn and get charged fees. Ealing Council’s erratic payment schedule for Housing Benefit won’t plunge me further into debt.
What if I didn’t have a safety net?
This is the problem, the benefits I receive (and yes I am very grateful for them) don’t cover my living expenses. Not my credit card payments, not my nights out, not my mobile, not my internet. They don’t cover my rent, gas, electric, water, food. I live in London, in a one bedroom flat, it’s a lovely flat, but it’s not expensive for the area. Housing Benefit doesn’t cover the rent, bills don’t go down, even on benefit you have to pay some Council Tax, the only variable are the misc expenses, food, travel, clothes, toiletries (for which I budget £20 a week). So every month I am in debt and on a knife’s edge. (To add insult to injury the £64.50 a week, JSA is taxable!) I am constantly worried about whether the bills will get paid on time and trying to keep the bank account running. So it would be really useful if I could have a definite date that my Housing Benefit will be paid. Because that’s the way most of the world works, my landlord wants paying on the same time each month, utilities companies want paying on the same time each month (and paying bill to bill is more expensive.) Why is it different if you are unemployed?
The major problem with being unemployed isn’t the lack of money, it’s the sense of hopelessness. I spend time applying for jobs and hearing nothing back. The benefits system adds to that hopelessness. I can’t get a part time or lower paying job to tide me over because then I lose all benefits and if I can’t cover my rent, I’ll be homeless (as a single childless adult, my chances of getting social housing is mimimal and how am I going to get a job if I don’t have an address?) . When I go to sign on, I turn up on time but have to wait 30 minutes, I never know when housing benefit is going to be in my bank account, so am constantly on edge about money. I’ve worked full time since I was 19, I want to work, God knows I’ve applied for enough jobs, but I’m treated as if I’m not trying, as though I deserve nothing. I listen to the radio and hear that people on benefits don’t want to work and have unrealistic expectations (thanks Frank Field) but I don’t think that it’s unrealistic to want a job that pays enough to cover my rent and bills, is it?
I’m really trying here, but the world I used to live in is getting further and further away and I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever get back.
Reading Christina‘s lastest blog post has got me thinking about how we (and I view beauty). This is her quote:
“It’s not like we don’t have beauty in the UK. Whenever, if ever, I escape the city, I’m invariably surprised and mildly distressed to be reminded of the glorious countryside that is apparently going on all the time while Londoners fight over seats on the tube.”
Ok so fighting for a seat on the Tube is never fun or beautiful and yes the countryside is often beautiful. I do resent the majority view that seems to say that all cities are ugly and London is more so.
I find London to be beautiful all the bloody time. And I’ve never been in a city that I couldn’t find some beauty in (even Belfast!)
Is is easy to live in? Not always.

Is it full of people who act like dicks? There are a fair number of them but with an estimated population of 7,512,400 not all of them can be rubbish human beings either. Anyway, these are not arguments about whether somewhere is beautiful, they are arguments about quality of life. (My view is that London and cities in general are a damn sight easier to live in than small country towns but that is a matter of personal choice)

So I’m going to say it again, London is beautiful…

This is me and my newest godchild. She doesn’t have a name yet, but she it lovely and she and her mum are well. Unless something drastic happens, this is my last godchild. I now have six: Ryan, Helene and Luc, Elise and Josh and this little girl who as yet, has no name. She will also be the fifth English and French speaking godchild. I have to learn to speak French!
Updated to add that her parents have finally decided and 9 days later, she is going to be Tabitha.