Choose Joy

Posted on February 15, 2012 by nicdempsey

warning – this post contains God and Christianity. It’s ok if you don’t believe in it but you have been warned!!

This post started in my head when the snow started. After that and through last week, I couldn’t get over how miserable everyone seemed to be in public. On the train, in shops and all the pushing and shoving and not smiling or apologising and generally things that hurt my very British sense of order and civility. Then over the span of the weekend it all came together in my head. If I was a Christian, I would almost say that God put it there, hang on I am, He probably did!

So people moaning about the weather, the Tube and so on. God knows I’m guilty of this on occasion but in person, I do try not to whine and I’m a fairly smiley person and the grimness of this has been getting me down, especially given that I’m not having a great week, but I’m trying.

So after a fairly sucky week, on Saturday, it was Grace and it’s Candlemas. In part of the service, we reflected on Jesus’ presentation at the Temple. (Luke 2:22-40).

In that passage, Simeon says to Mary,

“This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35 so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

We did talk for a bit about how this is a great prophesy, it’s all, fantastic things will happen but it’s really gonna hurt. Then on Sunday, I was awake early and listening to Radio 4  (as I do all the time!) 8am on Sunday is the Sunday Service. It was from a Salvation Army corp and started with ‘And Can It Be’ which reminded me of my Grandad. The theme of the service was ‘Choose Joy’. The preacher was very clear about this, life wasn’t always happy, grief and pain happen, but for Christians knowing that God is with us and loves us brings us peace and hope and joy. She also talked about joyfulness being choice and a practice.

This stuff came together on Monday morning as I got on the bus and someone shoved in front of me. That same person bashed another with their bag and generally spread discomfort. I had a choice, I could react like them, because it’s Monday and it’s cold and I’m tired and I have a lot to do at work and I would have really liked to be in bed rather than being on the receiving end of someone else’s attitude. Or I could practice joyfulness.

It’s cheesy, it’s all of the cheeses but I chose to try and practice joyfulness. To remember that it was Monday, which is a fresh start, that it was going to be warmer this week, that although work can be a chore, it’s better than being unemployed as I was 3 months ago, that I got to listen to my friend Sue on the radio for 5 minutes this morning. Commuting is never fun but it’s a First World Problem.  We could spend time Mary worrying about the pain we are going to have in our life, we could be miserable because life is not perfect, however, all life has miserable, painful bits but Imam a Christian and I know that God is with me, so really I need to learn to be joyful..

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Reasons

Posted on February 13, 2012 by nicdempsey

Last week, the delightful dfordalrymple also known as Christina (I wanted to use delightful and dfordalrymple in the same sentence and I can if I want!) came for dinner. We talked about cocktails, flats, cold flats, cycling, blogs (if you haven’t already you should read Christina’s, she’s clever, articulate and very funny), singing, why casual dating is too much admin (her words) and lots of other things.

I’ve been reflecting on our conversation about bootcamp and my ‘Don’t be a fat bridesmaid’ plan. Christina has written about her struggles with disordered eating and I’m not going to rehash them here. However, Christina said that she could understand the bootcamp from the point of view of wanting to be fitter and truely healthier but not to be a size 14, (or whatever your chosen ideal is) and I agree healthy is a different thing from thin. I am roughly a stone heavier now that I was 6 years ago but I still fit into a lot of the clothes that fit then because of all the strength training I’ve done with Jem, my muscles are more pulled in than they used to be.

It’s almost become an article of faith, healthy is better than thin and be honest, how many times have you heard a friend say that they just want to be healthy and known that what they really mean is thin. Because eating clean is only about 40% of being healthy.

I should clarify that I don’t think that Christina is doing this, but the conversation just got me thinking because although I don’t want to be a size 10 I do want to be thinner as well as healthier.

There you go I said it. Although I’m pretty happy with the person I am, I want to be thinner, it’s one of my aims for the year after all.

Here’s the thing. I’m overweight, mostly because when I’m sad or bored or I want to treat myself, I eat. Destructive eating. Eating because I don’t value myself.

When I’m happy and feel in control, i.e when I’m working towards healthy by exercising, I don’t eat like this.

When Stef died, every time I wanted to sit on the sofa and cry and eat and drink, I got up and went to the gym. I spent hours on the treadmill and I lost 3 st. Looking at the time, I can identify why I could do that, it was because Stef wasn’t there to do it for me, without Stef to show and tell me I was valuable, I had to do it myself. Then other stuff got in the way and made me feel worthless and I slipped back into my old feelings about myself and my old ways.

So much of my struggle with my weight and fitness has been about my struggle to feel deserving of good things and to feel that my life has value in and of itself.

This is a very long winded and confusing way of saying that for me, deciding to eat well, going to bootcamp, exercising more and making the decision to try and lose weight, is about deciding that I am a person deserving of good things. Not because I’ve been nice to others, not because of anything I do but just because. That decision changes the destructive patterns of my behaviour.

It may be that in the course of treating my body better, my goals change. I get to a weight that isn’t my goal and I’m happy with it but given the weight I am now, eating clean and exercising regularly will lead to weight loss because it always does.

When I say I want to be thinner that’s what I mean. I want to be at a stage where I treat my body with the respect it deserves and I’m working on it.

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Friday Night Cocktail

Posted on February 10, 2012 by nicdempsey

The Sidecar

The trick to making cocktails at home is to keep it simple. I’m never going to be as good as someone who makes them all day, every day and I’m never going to have as many ingredients as a properly stocked bar. So simple is good. It also means that if you want to make cocktails at a party you can offer a choice of 4 or 5 and it’s not going to be a faff to remember the ingredients…

There are a lot of fabulous tasting drinks based on the magic combination of lemon juice, Cointreau and a base spirit. There’s the Kamikaze, the Japanese Slipper, the White Lady and the Sidecar.

The sidecar is a classic and deservedly so. Depending on your taste you can make it equal parts, brandy, Cointreau, lemon juice (French) or up the brandy and lower the other ingredients (English). As with all things, it’s about what you like. If you find this version not to your taste or the taste of the person you’re making them for, then adjust the amounts to suit your taste, you are making something to drink, it should be enjoyable in both the making and the drinking, right in this context is what tastes good.

What

ice cubes

45ml (1.5oz) brandy

30ml (1oz) Cointreau

30ml (1oz) lemon juice

lemon twist

How

1. Half fill a shaker with ice, and pour the brandy, Cointreau and lemon juice into it.

2. Shake hard and pour into a chilled cocktail glass

3. Garnish with a lemon twist.

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Dressing right..

Posted on February 7, 2012 by nicdempsey

Last year, Ma took me to Sweaty Betty and bought me an exercise outfit (trousers and top).

Before that I’d exercised in cheap (read cotton) track suit bottoms and cotton tops, there was nothing wrong with this, it was what I could afford and I wasn’t at all ashamed of it, I still got in shape. However, the Sweaty Betty stuff was amazing, it was sweat wicking, it fitted properly and I didn’t spend all of the exercise sessions I did pulling them up or down. More than the practical, they were flattering, they made me look, if not good, better than I felt.

They also washed well, dried quickly and after 6 months of quite a lot of use still look really good. I know, I really do how bad things are at the moment and I’m well aware that things are going to get a lot worse (in the UK they are anyway) and I am aware that spending money on fancy workout gear is the last thing that most people can do. If you have money to spare (I’m not advocating getting into debt) and you are exercising, the money should be spent on decent trainers. However, if you have decent trainers and you can afford it, decent workout clothes are worth it, for what they do for the workout (I know it sounds precious). They’re worth it, you’re worth it.

Anyway, I love my workout gear and for Christmas, I was given some vouchers for Sweaty Betty,  on Saturday, I used them and bought another pair of workout trousers and a top. As I was unpacking them I noticed this in the bottom of the bag…

Now I love Sweaty Betty even more….

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Snow, Snow, Snow

Posted on February 6, 2012 by nicdempsey

In England, we’ve had a really mild winter. Then last week it got cold. Actually, it just got normal for the winter in England. On Friday, there was snow predicted and everyone got panicky in the way that only the British really do (ok, only really the English do). I’ve spend the week saying “but it’s winter, what did you expect?”.

We’re not exactly living in the frozen tundra, in Central and Eastern Europe it’s been really cold. In the Ukraine, over 100 people died due to the weather (it’s minus 19C), in Bosnia, a place where they’re used to snow, they’ve just declared a state of emergency and Sarajevo is at a standstill due to the snow. In Venice, the canals are beginning to freeze over and in the Netherlands the lowest recorded temp in 27 years of -21.8C has been recorded. On Saturday, Russians were protesting about the upcoming presidential elections in temperatures of -15C.

In the UK, it’s colder than it’s been so far this year.  We’re on an amber alert for weather. In London, it started to snow at about 6pm on Saturday night, was still snowing at 11pm and overall we got about 4 inches and it settled. However, as I have been saying all this week, it’s not that cold. Yes, it’s cold but the Thames isn’t frozen over and it we have had snow like this for the last 3 or 4 years. Seriously, it’s time we learned to deal with it or at the very least stopped moaning about it. Yeah, I know I’m moaning about the moaning but my point remains.

Meanwhile, pretty pictures, even though I managed to leave the house without my camera..

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Sunday Music

Posted on February 5, 2012 by nicdempsey

I’ve done Little Barrie before. However, I always wanted Sunday Music to reflect what I’ve been listening to and this week I’ve been listening to King of the Waves a lot. So we have Surf Hell..

Tip It Over

 

 

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Yep, it’s snowing

Posted on February 5, 2012 by nicdempsey

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Friday Night Cocktail

Posted on February 3, 2012 by nicdempsey

Ryan came to visit last weekend and we made cocktails. Ryan’s cocktail of choice is an Old Fashioned, so this is for him!

Generally I find them to be too sweet so I don’t order them when I’m out but but made properly they don’t taste sweet and they are very easy to make (it’s a one glass drink which I’m keen on). Also this is a drink that’s about the balance and good booze, the sugar and the bitters should balance out and add something extra to the bourbon. We used Four Roses Small Batch (Ryan’s birthday present) and I didn’t have any sugar cubes so Ryan used a teaspoon of sugar instead and that seemed to work. At this point I need to plug the LCS bitters, I used them instead of the Angostura and liked the Old Fashioned much better..

What
1 sugar cube or teaspoon of sugar
Angostura bitters (or LCS or whatever bitters you like)
soda water
ice cubes
60ml (2oz) bourbon (I prefer rye but either’s fine)
orange twist
cocktail cherry (optional)

How
1. Place the sugar cube or teaspoon of sugar into the glass
2. Add bitters and let it soak into the sugar
3. Add a splash of soda water and stir a bit to mash up the sugar
4. Half fill the glass with ice.
5. Add the bourbon
6. Stir to dissolve the sugar a bit more
7. Garnish with a twist of orange and/or a cocktail cherry (Ryan hates the cherries, I don’t, do what you like!)

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February Goals

Posted on February 3, 2012 by nicdempsey

I’m sitting here thinking about what I want to do in February and all I can really think of is survive it. It’s going to be a busy month, work is going to be full on and there’s bootcamp, which I will love but it does involve a fair amount of sitting on a bus! So I’m going easy this month.

1 gym thing a week. That and 2 bootcamps a week meets the 3 times a week goal and I can make one class a week!

Photoaday. This looks like fun and committing to trying to be creative is good for me. (This doesn’t mean that my instagram feed won’t still be full of pretty pictures of the sky though!)

Housework. I know I go on about this but I need the house to be tidy in order to function and I need it more when life is stressy. So I’m going to commit having a tidy house, which means coming home and getting it done not sitting down and reading or surfing!

Marmalade. I have never made this from stratch, you know when you cook the oranges and slice them before you turn them into tasty marmalade. So this month (as it’s the season) I’m going to make marmalade. I want to try this one and normal orange with ginger marmalade.

There it is, four weeks, easy goals. From the big 2012 list, I’m going to see some films, clean up my eating a bit more (less sugar, carbs and booze) and start working my way through the TBR pile of books!

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January Goals round up

Posted on February 2, 2012 by nicdempsey

Here were the goals:

Three fitness things a week.

Fail, fail, big fat fail. I started well, then work went mental (three person team went to one person) and I hurt my back. I haven’t gained any weight but I am starting to feel out of shape, bootcamp starts next week and will sort that out.

100km walking or running.

Fail. I walked 72k in January. It’s clearly not enough and I need to do more!

Sleep.

So 8 hours a night and in bed by 10pm on schoolnights. Done. It’s made being at my desk by 8am every morning much easier.

Take proper care of my nails.

They were painted and oiled but they still broke! They look pretty though, so I’m happy.

Have a sort out of my clothes.

Done. I had a sort out some of them at the beginning of the month and got rid of a bin bag full of clothes and shoes. Then Ma came over a couple of weeks ago to help me assess the wardrobe and I gave away 2 bags of clothes to the charity shop.

Not so great this month. In terms of my goals in 2012. In January, I booked bootcamp which starts next week, I’m going on holiday in May (that’s all booked, though I didn’t do it – thanks Mum!) and I’ve cleared out my wardrobe. So I reckon I’m doing alright..

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