When my Oli wants to draw your attention to something that he thinks that you ought to have done but he doesn’t want to outright ask and appear rude, he starts a sentence with “Do you remember…..”. So at lunch for Ma’s birthday last year, he started with “Aunty Nic, do you remember that the last time we were here, you made lovely garlic bread?” (I did, I hadn’t made it that time, I will make sure there’s some for Mother’s Day lunch in a couple of weeks!)
Anyway in the spirit of that, I’m going to re-start this post with a question. Do you remember that I finished January feeling that I was in a really good place (despite the mouse and the Januaryness of January? That I’d achieved things and was ready to move into a positive February?And I’m going to tell you that I feel nothing like that about February, which frankly felt like a struggle. I’m not sure why but if I had to pin it on anything, I’d blame the ‘back to the grindstone’ feeling of this February. At the end of last year, I had a new nephew to coo over, six weeks off work and therefore not being terribly SAD because I could sleep in more, I also saw more of my friends, then there were reduced hours at work and the need to be really careful of my foot, the excitement of Christmas and then thinking about what I wanted to do in 2016 and challenge of making it through January with my brain intact.
This February has been much more dreary by comparison. My foot is better more or less but I can’t do everything I used to, I’m back to the grindstone of work and home and laundry and sleep. It is getting lighter in the morning but it’s still too damn dark for my liking. You know you can make all the plans, dream all the dreams but eventually, you just have to buckle down and do what you’d said you’d do or wouldn’t do. And it’s boring.Until I sat down to write this post I was pretty sure that February had been an abject failure but that isn’t entirely the case. My focus on the goals for the year has been strong, I’m on track financially, the house is clean and under control, I’m gradually increasing my walking.
But the little goals, I have almost completely flunked them. I remembered to stretch, but the exercise and the yoga, nope, nada, zilch. I have cut down on my drinking and been under my 14 unit limit every week but one, when I went right up to it but not over. The cupboard did not get sorted nor the freezer defrosted.
I managed to get to the Grace big service but so far none of the weekday evening stuff and I managed the first seven days of daily reflection on 40 Temptations (one of which aptly was called ‘You will fail’)
It doesn’t feel like February was a successful month at all. However, Monday is the last day of February and therefore I have a couple of days to re-frame my perspective, February was not a disaster, I’m still on track and I have two days in which I can finish strong and ready for the challenges of March!