Food Prep: Caring for Mum Edition

My mum has stopped being able to cook, it’s a combination of osteoarthritis in her hands and the increasing frailty, she currently has carers come in twice a day but they will only microwave meals. Ma’s preferred food solutions to her non cooking issues has been things that she can heat in her air fryer which we bought when we were worried about oven use. (It’s this one and it’s great.)

Hot stew and brown rice

My real difficult is that Ma has lost all appetite and hasn’t been eating, which can’t help, I spent last week making sure she ate and we came up with a menu plan of things she would eat that could be microwaved and I cooked and froze a bunch of them. We did have a bit of a fight about amounts of food and so we compromised, she eats 4 times a day but small portions.

Dinners were: Lentil Bolognese and Pasta, Hot Stew and Rice, Pesto Pasta, Mint and Courgette Soup, Tomato and Feta Pasta, Cheesy Lentil Muffins.

Lentil muffins

Everything else can be eaten cold but is organised so the carers can help her find it.

Breakfasts are easy because Ma has the same thing everyday anyway. Toast and jam at the weekends and yoghurt and fruit during the week. So I’ve portioned that up.

Lunches are a cooked chicken thigh with tomatoes and cucumbers and there is an afternoon snack of a muffin and a banana.

My current working plan is that I do the meal prep on Saturdays and cook one thing for the freezer so that we can rotate them in.

Any suggestions of food that can be cooked ahead and frozen that aren’t pasta based can be microwaved and taste good would be appreciated!

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Allotment Adventures: In which I take time off to sort out the plot and don’t

I really don’t want this space to be all about what is going on with my mum, although obviously, it is a huge thing in my life right now and potentially for a while to come. I have been saying that I have to have some kind of life outside of caring for Ma and work and usually the plot is part of that, but I’m struggling with it right now.

My plan last week had been to take Friday to do my things, Saturday for Ma and then have three whole days to work on the plot and go back to work on Wednesday.

None of that happened and by the weekend I was just too tired to do anything at the plot. Fortunately for me, so far this week it has rained…lots.

For the rest of the month, I’m in adjust mode so it’ll be a Sunday thing and I’ll just do what I can. First up for this week is a tidy at the front and to plant up the green stalk I got for my birthday!

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Monday Miscellany: Carers Edition

Happy Monday!

1. I took an unexpected extra three days off work last week. Or at least the work that pays me. Ma had a series of falls over the weekend that she couldn’t get up from. I’ve spent every day at hers, or on a bus (except for Tuesday night when I had to come over in a cab and I stayed over Thursday and Friday night because of a bus strike). We have carers coming in twice a day at the minute and I went home on Saturday and was home on Sunday. I’m back to work today and I’m working on being less anxious, that will take some time but work.

2. I don’t qualify for carers allowance because I earn too much but travel last week cost me over £100. This week there are bus and train strikes further complicating my life. I’ve said before that the problem with social care isn’t just the cost of it to the State, it’s the burden they put on people who do the right thing. I’m now one of those people.

3. We have an OT and maybe physio visit on Wednesday and an appointment at the NHS Neurology appointment the week after so maybe things are moving. However, we have a possible diagnosis of small vessel disease and Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP). Which to be frank, sucks all round.

Meal prep for Mum

4. When I worry, I can get completely overbearing. Right now, I’m really trying not to boss every inch of Mum’s existence because autonomy is important (that’s what she keeps telling me!) However, even though, I am worried and tired and really fucking scared for Mum, she is still one of my favourite people and stress aside, it’s been quite lovely to hang out with her this week.

Watching The Thursday Murder Club on Friday night

5. One of the things that happens when I’m very stressed or unhappy is that I don’t feel hungry. My work clothes are definitely feeling looser this week.

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Friday Links: We Live in a Broken World

I’ve spent most of the week at Mum’s, it’s been a tricky week and the news in the world hasn’t got much better, so this is just going to be ‘nice’ links, because I need all the joy I can get at the moment.

A ‘Third Way’ Between Buying or Renting? Swiss Co-ops Say They’ve Found It. (NYT gift link) This sounds so sensible and so Swiss….

‘The whole town was out after’: Grimsby fans still in disbelief after beating Manchester United. Who doesn’t like to see Man U suffer?

My favourite childhood outfit: ‘The coat I inherited from Grandpa became my teenage refuge’. I still have the brown jumper that my Grandad gave me. I had another jumper knitted along the same lines. They are my favourite clothes and in winter I wear them all the time, they are the oldest clothes I own.

You be the judge: should my girlfriend stop buying kitchen appliances? Ma says that this is me, the woman with two instant pots but I do use all my gadgets and crucially, I’ve not bought a new gadget this year. Also Paul is wrong about the air fryer. Ma has this one and I covet it, it’s so handy.

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Monday Miscellany: The Last Bank Holiday of the Summer

Happy Monday (and happy day off to those of you in the UK who can celebrate, sorry Scotland, you’ve had your day!)

So we’re here, end of August, no more Bank Holidays until Christmas (unless the King dies!) and I plan to spend today and tomorrow on the plot. Here’s last week’s miscellany:

1. Dahlias unfurling. I can not express now happy I am that gamble worked, the next gamble will be seeing if I can mulch them thorough winter so they flower again next year!

 2. I don’t have a massive social circle but I’m so glad to have the friends I do. This week I’m very grateful for them. Sarah who while in the middle of so much other stuff she has going on, has talked me off a very irritable ledge twice this week and Jo who I met for dinner this week. We swapped very belated presents and apparently my loves are well known and have made their way to my Christmas Tree! And Christelle and Sue who have both checked up on me this week. We are all dealing with a lot of other stuff but I’m lucky to have these people in my life.

Christmas decorations

3. I’ve lived in West London for most of my 50-ish years on the planet so why is it always a surprise to me when TfL send out it’s emails about Carnival? If you asked when it was, I would tell you it’s the August Bank Holiday but every year that email comes and I’m like ‘oh it’s Carnival’ and make a note not to use the Tube this weekend. I know why, because it’s not really my thing, but I have fond memories of several older ladies at church who needed to take the week to recover after….they always blamed the dancing and never the punch!

4. It’s been a really bad week for allergies, I’ve been taking my anti-histamines but up until this week I had it under control but this week I’m reacting to something and for the life of me I can’t work out what it is, but I’ve been a snotty, eye watering mess this week! I’ve had to deploy the eye drops in the hope that it’ll help.

View from a bus

5. I spend a lot of time on buses and when I am queen of the world there will be a law banning people who take calls longer than 2 minutes or who use their phones to play games or watch videos without headphones. I don’t want to hear your music. If you have lost of forgotten your headphones, you just don’t use your phone. I’m considering buying g ear defenders because it’s driving me to fucking distraction.

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Friday Links: At Least We Have Football….

Happy Friday!

The world is in no better shape but the football season has begun so that’s some consolation, although Chelsea drew to Crystal Palace at home in their first game of the season….so it may not bring me actual joy this season!

Here are some links…

A Brief Note on the Difference Between Negotiation and Extortion

Why have we let side-hustle private landlords seize control of our housing – and our politics?

Paris Braces for a Future of Possibly Paralyzing Heat. One area that London does do better with is green space, but I’d love to see parks with more paddling pools. The summers that I looked after Ryan, we spent so much time at the paddling pool at Bishops Park. But they seem to figure less in parks nowadays.

I thought we’d entered the age of body positivity. Then came ‘shrinking girl summer’ – is everyone getting smaller except me? It does seem like everyone is on them, I know a couple of people of them, and they are very happy with them and the results and if it works for them, great. I don’t think it’s the lazy way out but if I had a spare £360 a month for weight loss drugs, I think I’d spend it on personal training, because I know that works in terms of making me healthier. I can always think of something I would rather do than go to the gym which is why I loved personal training way back when I did it because all I had to do was turn up and do what I was told. It didn’t make me skinny, I lost some weight and because I was more toned, I dropped a couple of dress sizes, and I did feel healthier. It did not fix my feet or my knees as they are issues, I would have if I was lighter. Right now, I’m overweight but all my health markers (the ones that doctors tell you come with obesity) are in the normal range, I’m not pre-diabetic, my blood pressure is good etc, which I think has more to do with my diet than anything else. I eat a much less processed diet than most people and I love vegetables, I have no problems with 5 a day and I tracked thirty plants a week and usually hit that target in four days!  I’m working right now on trying to be more active generally because I know that I feel better when I am but I’m also very, very tired all the time because I’m a menopausal, middle aged woman with a full time job and a parent to care for so I do what I can and don’t stress about it too much however, I do notice that there is a shift in how we talk about weight and it does worry me.

And then I came across this…..How Weight-Loss Drugs Can Upend a Marriage…which is interesting and sad at the same time

A moment that changed me: I resolved to reduce my screen time – and it was a big mistake

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Allotment Adventures: August

As I write this we are in our third or fourth heatwave. It was 33c yesterday and every time I check the weather the days that are going to be above 25c stretch a bit further out.

So I’m back to daily watering and there is a lot more to water.

All of the plot is overgrown so I’m just doing was I can. Last week that was weeding at the back. I weeded, cardboarded and wood chipped the main path by the squash bed and around the raspberries and the bed next to it.

Some parts of the plot are tidy

I set up my lingonberry bed and I’ve also cleared the bed next to it and planted the leeks. The next thing to do is clear the paths around the next bed down and mulch and to clear the bed and plant the kale.

A fig tree and a lingonberry bed

I also planted up my birthday presents, a fig tree and a small bay tree.

Lettuce, chard and rocket have been planted in the square beds near the asparagus bed, the weeds are many but I’m just doing the best I can and tying not to get heatstroke!

Yep I need to do some weeding up by the asparagus too!

While the strawberries in the pots are really struggling, the ones in the ground are doing well and I’m taking the runners as another birthday present was a green stalk which I’m hoping will make watering them easier! I’ll set it up at the weekend and if it’s good, then guess what my Christmas present will be?

I have so much to do but full watering takes over an hour and right now I just do what I can.

The dahlias have started to flower, which pleases me.

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Get A Grip: Clean and Tidy Flat

2025 has been full of challenge. I’ve been doing more for Mum and while my definition and threshold of a messy house may not look messy to others, I feel like it need to get a grip on it because I’m uncomfortable.

I know what’s going on. When I feel emotionally rocky, I need to assert control over my surroundings and there’s a lot going on and winter is coming so for the rest of the month and most of September, I’m going to be working on my spaces and routine so that I can push through the next bit.

I’m pretty good at the small stuff in the flat, I wash up every night, I make my bed every day, the laundry is on a regular schedule, I clean my bathroom sink and toilet every night. I’m more or less tidy but there are a couple of things that I need to do more often because they are beginning to drive me insane. My things in the house are the floors (especially in the kitchen), hoovering and ironing. I actually do more of that for my mum than at my own house, which is ridiculous.

There are a couple of other things, so two new daily tasks need to be habit of sweeping or hoovering the kitchen floor every day after I’ve done the washing up. I really don’t understand how it gets so dusty but it really does and for the moment, I need to empty the food waste every day too because it’s warm and I hate fruit flies.

New weekly tasks also about floors, are hoovering and mopping the other rooms in the flat and getting to the ironing once a week instead of letting it build up and doing it when I have no more ironed clothes.

That’s the cleaning routine but I also need to have a declutter of the flat, because the flat feels more crowded than I am comfortable with, I’m just going to go through the cupboards in the house one at a time and hopefully by Christmas, it’ll feel better.

I just need to push through and pay attention at home for a couple of months and it’ll become second nature!

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Monday Miscellany: August and Everything After

Happy Monday!

  • Heatwave Again. This is getting silly but it’s been really warm again we’ve been somewhere between 33C and 26C for the last week. According to the BBC we go back to a more workable temperatures this week. Thank goodness.
  • Bread. I’m not making bread every week at the moment, and the last couple of attempts have not been my best work. So I was relived on Friday to discover that I could still make a decent loaf of bread. This is the bread I make.
Baked and cooling
  • It’s August and sunset is currently 8.20pm. It’s time to remind myself and anyone else that suffers from SAD that it’s time to start Autumn/Winter prep. I have also written about this on and off (and will again in the next couple of weeks) I’m starting a bit earlier this year because life is…interesting at the moment.
  • There was drama this week with the downstairs neighbours who I thought were on holiday but only one of them was and the other seemed to be missing and there was a leak. It was a very intense 2 hours where I spoke to the police I have officially entered the age where policemen and women look really young!), the downstairs neighbours estate agent, the downstairs neighbours landlord who used to live downstairs and my landlord. That day, I also spoke to my brother about mum and mum about her next appointment with the doctor to discuss her MRI results. It was a very emotional day.
  • Finally, this week I’ve also reached the age where drinking a bottle of wine over the course of 5 hours and dinner leaves me hungover. It’s worth pointing out that this year I’ve drunk a lot less. But my tolerance to alcohol is shot to pieces…

My plans for this week involve working for 3 and half days this week, seeing Jo for belated birthday (hers and mine!), taking Ma out for another appointment where we hopefully will get an idea of what’s happening with her brain, and trying to work on the plot and keep the house tidy!

I hope we all have the best week we can!

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Miscellany: Five Things

  1. I had a birthday, it was quiet and I had to make my birthday cake (nothing new there!) it was the birthday custard sponge from Feast by Nigella Lawson (here’s the recipe in the Guardian), instead of her filling suggestion mine had cream and blackcurrant jam.

2. I grew a dahlia. This was a bit of a longshot, I planted these bulbs in June and hoped and here I am with a dahlia

3. I left some courgettes too late, witness the literal fruit of my neglect

4. Birthday plants. A new orchid and a fig tree

Fig tree
The orchid

5. Mum. Ma was supposed to have an appointment with the neurologist at Kingston Hospital this week – 13 weeks after the initial referral, but they cancelled and rearranged for October! So Ma decided to find out how much it would cost to go private, the appointment was last week and it was the most informative 40 minutes we’ve had with regards to her health, suffice to say it’s not just old age and the MRI we wanted her to have in 2024 would have confirmed that. We’re going for the MRI today to confirm a diagnosis. This week I’ve heard so many people talk about the NHS and how great it is but it’s not been great with Ma over the last year and while I’m happy to get answers, what Mum didn’t have the money to do this bit privately? I’m so bloody cross because no-one deserves the complete lack of curiosity and concern about someone falling over at least once a week, I sort of feel like they wouldn’t have taken her seriously until she broke something and ended up in hospital. It’s appalling.

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