I hate November. Not as much as I used to but it’s not my favourite month, it’s dark and cold (although the weather is not at all cold yet!) and generally I don’t enjoy it.
Krissie doesn’t have my issues with November not being a happy, fun time, but she spends November remembering to be thankful for the life she has and what’s in it. For the last couple of years I’ve joined in! Last year she did ‘Thankful in November’ through Committed Coaching, which was a free offering, I don’t know if she’s doing anything this year but I’ve found it was really useful and it’s part of the reason I’m feeling much more optimistic this autumn, I’m still grumpy but much of it is surface grump as opposed to the deep despair I was rocking about 5 years ago.
So every day in November I’m going to take a photo to help dispel my November gloom. I honestly don’t expect them to be much different from most of my photos either on here or on Instagram. I’m pretty sure that, knowing me, the things that I’m grateful for will not be that much different from the things I’m always grateful for, family, friends, a place to live, literacy, whiskey….
That’s not the important part of the exercise. The way I experience depression* is that it throws everything good in my life into the shade where it’s hard to see and then all of my focus is on what’s wrong with me. During the winter I find that I spend more time feeling that I’m not enough, that I’m not clever, rich, successful or pretty enough and that no one loves me and no one ever will and that every good thing I’ve ever had I’ve lost, either because God just doesn’t want me to be happy and I’m not allowed to have good things or because I’ve broken it and the more I feel like that the worse it is. So the point of this is to help me quiet the negative noise that my brain defaults to and to shine a light of the good parts of my life that are harder for me to see but are still exactly where I left them.
Rather than posting one a day, I’ll post them here on a Tuesday for the week.
Saturday 1st November
A quiet day doing things at home and decanting the plum gin.
Sunday 2nd November
The amazing sunset after a pretty rainy and miserable November day.
Monday 3rd November
My lovely bed and a day done and a the chance to sleep.
*standard disclaimer – I don’t have a serious depression, I have mild Seasonal Effective Disorder and a history of bad things happening in November. If you do, being thankful for your life in November is unlikely to help unless you also have a good therapist and some anti depressants and if you don’t have those things, go and see your doctor, they can help