Let’s catch up…

Posted on January 12, 2012 by nicdempsey

I’ve been missing in action this week not really for any reason other than the need to sleep, work and generally have a life getting in the way.

So in list form:

I’ve had a really sore back for the last couple of weeks, it only hurts if I stand up, sit down or move. Not fun and making me quite grumpy.

Now have some over the counter pain killers that make my face go numb and make me slightly manic. Not sure if they help my back at all

Job is getting busy, the one person in our team of three is leaving tomorrow, she is going onto bigger and better things, leaving me as the most experienced person in the team with all of 6 weeks in the job. My new mantra is ‘this is an opportunity, not a problem’

I survived my first major meeting – go me…

John and Matt are coming to London, finally! They are staying with Jo so I will get to see her and Ms T too, this is the definition of a win/win.

Matt in Cote D'Ivoire


In fact this weekend is a bit of an American adventure, John and Matt on Saturday and lunch with Maxanne, Danielle and Murphy, with Max’s parents who are visiting from Boston. It will be nice to meet them but honestly, I’m really looking forward to some Murphy time!!

Murphy and her Mommy

This of course does mean that I’ll miss Grace. Which is sad because it looks interesting and I don’t feel like I’ve seen anyone since the Christmas party. This is one of the drawbacks of worship being monthly rather than weekly..hey ho..

Having nice clothes is expensive. This week, I’ve spent a lot of money (for me) on clothing maintenance and adjustment. Not complaining or boasting, just pointing out that life was cheaper when I didn’t care so much about how I looked.

I got to the gym this week, bad back not withstanding. Which is good because I’ve had mad chocolate cravings this week, I haven’t really resisted them and the fact that it’s nice dark chocolate doesn’t make it good for me.

I made grenadine this week, which is amazing in a Ward Eight. Both recipes can be found on Domestic Sluttery and are very good.

In two weeks time I’m spending the day with Oli – so Ben and Lu can celebrate their 8th year together as grown ups.

And in the same weekend seeing Ryan…’cause he’s 27 this month, yep I feel old but at least he’s useful nowadays, he puts up pictures and everything.

Right time for bed….one more day and it’s the weekend.

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Saturday

Posted on January 7, 2012 by nicdempsey

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I seem to spend so much time on the 65 bus. Men, flats and jobs come and go but the 65 bus seems to be a constant. I can’t read on buses without getting sick and it always feels like wasted time. Today I looked out of the window. The sky is blue the sun is shining and maybe looking at the sky isn’t wasted time after all.

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Epiphany…

Posted on January 6, 2012 by nicdempsey

Twelfth Night was yesterday, so I took my lovely tree down.

My tree goes up earlier than I’d like, if I spent Christmas at home, I wouldn’t decorate the tree until Christmas Eve and the tree doesn’t come down until Twelfth Night. My Christmas season ends with Epiphany. I love that, not only to feel that I’m doing something my grandparents did, following a tradition, but that Christmas ends with Epiphany. The idea that Christmas is a time when you find out something that changes your world and begin something new. For me and every other Christian, it does. We feel the joy of Jesus’ birth and over the 12 days discover what that means about how our life is going to change in light of that. I’m always sad to take the tree down, it’s gone from being vibrant and green to wilted and sad. It’s time for it to come out of the house and for life to return to normal, but life won’t be the same, Christmas happened and you are changed. I’m going to be changed because I’ll have straighter hair and will read new books (thanks to brilliant Christmas presents) and because I’ve had a job for over a month. I’ve also had I’ve had time to think about how I want my year to be, about what I want to be in the New Year.

During Christmas, there were family, friends, presents, food, warmth and time to rejoice in all the good things in our life. Hopefully there was time for reflection, thankfulness and epiphany.

Time to take the love and the joy we have and make that real for other people. Jonny has written about this, about how we can use the New Year to change the world.

My epiphany comes about my attitude, that sometimes, I’m so busy thinking about me and the people I’m close to, I forget the wider world. It’s easy to spend time with Ma,Christelle, Max and by myself reading books, I forget that I’m also called to change the world. So I need to make my 12 in 12, 13. I walked past a homeless person last week and I was so aware that if not for my mother (and the welfare state) I could have ended up there this year.  Given that and that now I have a job I’m in the top 10% of earners in the world I need to do something to help the people who aren’t as lucky as me.  I do have a long road to recover financial stability and it will be hard to find something I can do, but I need to do it.

That’s my challenge, so as a challenge for the 4 or 5 people who read this, tell me about an epiphany they might have had over Christmas?

 

 

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More than 5 a day

Posted on January 5, 2012 by nicdempsey

This week in the post Christmas, back to work madness, I have craved green things….today I ate: 4 carrots, a pepper, 3 mushrooms, 2 sticks of celery, 2 clementines, 1 leek, 1 courgette and a big pile of green beans.

Anyone else finding they need to eat green stuff after Christmas?

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The morning sky

Posted on January 4, 2012 by nicdempsey

This morning was cold and dark, then unexpectedly beautiful..

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What I’ve Read – October, November and December 2011

Posted on January 4, 2012 by nicdempsey

I didn’t post about the books I read for the last quarter of the year. I was reading and I was keeping the list. As I’m about to finish my first book of 2012, I thought I’d update about the last books of 2011! Keen eyed people will notice that’s 71 books read in a year and that I didn’t really achieve reading the books on the to be read pile! Bad Nic…

October
60. Living Dead in Dallas – Charlene Harris

I finished the omnibus I bought and that’s me done. The concept is great and but not a lot happens and I got bored, prefer the TV show..
61. Son of Neptune – Rick Riordan

Luc and I read this together and talked about it a lot. He has lots of theories about what is going to happen and I really need to find him something to read to take the edge off the wait for the next book! We liked this…
62. Club Dead – Charlene Harris

See above and now I’m done.
63. Sisters of Fortune: The First American Heiresses to Take England by Storm – Jehanne Wake

This was really fascinating. I learnt a lot about the early years of the USA (not something that you learn in the UK!!) and when the sisters got to the UK, I knew quite a bit about the people that the sisters met and married (Duke of Wellington and his ‘family’) so it filled some gaps in my knowledge. Really enjoyed this.
November
64. The Chalet Girls Grow Up – Merryn Williams

This was a re-read, borrowed from my mother and I now remember why I didn’t like it the first time. I accept that there are lots of things that aren’t quite right about the Chalet School series, but I got the feeling that Merryn Williams just didn’t like the books or the main characters of the series. If you loved the Chalet School, you probably won’t like this and if you don’t know what the hell the Chalet School is, the book is very depressing, no-one in the book is very nice and the bad things happen to them.
65. A Close Run Thing – Allan Mallinson

I stole this from Charles’ throw away pile during their house move in September. I really enjoyed it, put my in mind of the Sharpe novels. Allan Mallinson trained as an Anglican priest (I would imagine he was a bit Anglo-Catholic!) and served in the Guards. These things show. Other that that, our hero is thoroughly honourable and an excellent guards officer, you want good things to happen to him and eventually they do.
66. Lock and Key – Sarah Dessen

The first of three in a row. I like Sarah Dessen novels, but this was another one where the mother was useless. I worry about that. Fathers don’t seem to feature much and mothers are always rubbish. Love that you got to see characters from her other books really briefly too. It’s Sarah Dessen, you can’t go wrong but I would make sure that any teenager of mine had access to books with nice mothers in them.
67. This Lullaby – Sarah Dessen

This one had a useless father too and the mother made mistakes but was ultimately all right. Again enjoyed, will reread but could we have a Sarah Dessan character who doesn’t have useless parents? Why does Remy need to look after her mother? I know that children can and do feel protective of parents but arranging her mother’s wedding, really?
68. Last Chance – Sarah Dessen

I really liked this. That Colie had done the thing that she was supposed to do to be happy and successful, lost weight but she was still herself and how she works that out. But again with the mother issues…

December
69. The Passage – Justin Cronin

Loved this. Lots of people saw I was reading this and told me that they didn’t like it or couldn’t finish it. It is a long book, but I loved the way Cronin showed us a world slightly in the future (Jenna Bush as governor of Texas, New Orleans destroyed) and then tore that world apart and rather than tell us about how it fell apart jumped forward 100 years. It doesn’t tell you, this happens, it shows you and you have to work it out.
70. Friday Night Lights – H. G Bissinger

I loved this for totally different reasons to why I loved The Passage. I know nothing about Texas and less about American football or padded rugby as I always thought of it. I have now learned that it’s not at all like rugby and I also learnt about the republican heartland, something I shall think about as the US elections kick into gear. What comes across is how Bissinger feels for, likes and maybe admires these people even though he can see what they’re doing to themselves, their children and their town. I also was aware of the different styles of writing between US and UK journalism. Worth reading.
71. Crossed – Allie Condie

I know, I said no more dystopia but I’d started and I had to carry on. I have a horrible feeling that the Society is about to go all ‘Matrix’ on me, but we’ll see.

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January Goals

Posted on January 2, 2012 by nicdempsey

So this month is a getting back on track month. It’s easy after Christmas to carry on with bad habits and I need to use this month to consolidate December’s progress and prepare for February and bootcamp! Therefore January has to be about work and fitness and good habits.

Exercise
Three fitness things a week. That can be going for a long walk (as I did today, up a lot of hills!) or going to the gym but at least three times, no excuses.
100km walking or running. It’s a repeat but I really want to make sure that I track this

Other stuff
Sleep. December was a bit of a slog because I wasn’t getting enough sleep, sleep is my general cure all and I’m pretty sure that the migraine I had last week was in part due to not having regular hours for sleep. So 8 hours a night and in bed by 10pm on schoolnights.

Take proper care of my nails. In December, I broke every single one of my nails. I think it was because I wasn’t painting them and therefore wasn’t oiling them etc. So this month I want to make doing both a priority, I know it’s vain but it makes me feel better and that’s a good thing.

Have a sort out of my clothes. I have too many clothes that are taking up too much room. This month I need to go through them and decide what I’m keeping and throwing away. (Except for the blue jumper and the brown one that belonged to my Grandad…they’re staying!!)

That’s it for January. Just in case you missed it here’s the recap for the 2012 goals.

1) Make exercise part of my life again.

2) Eat mindfully.

3) Set monthly goals.

4) Get to 12st (that’s 168lb or 76kg to everyone else).

5) Take more photos and learn how to use my camera properly.

6) Go on holiday.

7) Buy a new wardrobe.

8) Go to the cinema once a month.

9) Learn to crochet.

10) Have a clear out. Look at the things I have,  clear out the things I don’t need and use and organise the things I have better.

11) Clear down the ‘To Be Read’ list.

12) I will do another bootcamp.

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Dog Days are Over

Posted on January 1, 2012 by nicdempsey

During #resound11, we were asked what our theme sound for 2011 was and I chose ‘A Little Bit of Feelgood” by Jamie Lidell.

I stand by that, it’s totally where I was in 2011.

Krissie from Questions for Dessert chose “Dog Days Are Over’ and man that’s a great song and I can see why it’s a brilliant running song.

Currently my favourite running songs are ‘Tell It To Me’ and ‘Cocaine Habit’, which work brilliantly but I sing along and I’m pretty sure that the guys in the gym think that I’m exercising to get over a drug habit, which I’m not!  Dog Days Are Over is a slightly faster tempo and I’d love that to be next year’s theme song.  The Dog Days Are Over….but I can’t make it my song because of the lyrics.

A long time ago someone I thought a lot of told me that I thought too much about the lyrics of songs..he may have been right about this but he was wrong about so much else and I kind of dismissed his observation.  But this song has these lyrics…….

Run fast for your mother run fast for your father
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind you
Can’t carry it with you if you want to survive

And they’re great lyrics but I can never leave my love and my longing behind. They make me..Nic. They’re the things that make me want to survive. After Stef died, I thought I would, but my love for him  and my longing to be the person he saw in me kept me going. As did living with Sarah for 18 months and then my uncle for another 18 months. I speak to Mum every day and it was only last year, when she told me she got her girl back (an Ma B and I only came back because of the steel/love/bottom* that we got from you!). All of that gave me family and just simple acceptance when everything else was a mess, when friendships that were supposed to sustain me fell apart because of my need, the black hole of loss within me and that simple fact that I chose badly,  my uncle provided disinterested support, he and his kids are so close and they made me part of that, without actually making me part of it, which is just what I needed. My family, the people I was lumped with at birth (Ma & Ben) and the people I chose and who chose me – Sarah, Ryan, Christelle, Tina & Charles, Jo, Jane, Ruth, Kathy & Adam, Gill, Max and even the people I didn’t chose, who didn’t chose me but are family all the same – Lu, Oli, Michael, Tabs, Helene, Luc, Elly, Josh, Jane’s kids, Danielle, Murphy (anyone else, I might be missing…) they’re why I survived those years. My dog days  are finally over (I hope).  I’m ready to face the new world God created for me, but I survived the destruction of the old worlds because of my love and my longing, for Stef and for connection, for the hope that I might feel like that about someone else, for the hope that someone else might feel that for me, for the hope that I would find the life that God intended me to find, even if it wasn’t the life I had in mind. That love and that longing led me to hang on when I really wasn’t sure that I could, when not hanging on felt like it might be the easier option. Because of that, I feel like a person worth love, worth everything life can offer and I need new lyrics to that song if I want to run to it because me love and my longing are probably the only things I can’t leave behind…..

I need new lyrics…any suggestions?

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2012

Posted on January 1, 2012 by nicdempsey

This morning a small child told me that 2012 was going to be epic..

As it is…

To the New Year may you have an epic year and if it’s not as epic as you think it should be, may you be supported by the love of the people that love you…that makes even disaster joyful and small things and achievements epic!!

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December Goals Recap..

Posted on December 31, 2011 by nicdempsey

December was interesting, I had to re-adjust to full time work, deal with being the new girl and I’d committed to doing things through December assuming that I wouldn’t be working (bootcamp, cooking for Jonny’s resource weekend, having Oli overnight). It was a bit busier than I expected. Despite that, I feel that this has been a calm month with very little drama and with lots of good stuff – this is a bit of a miracle for me in winter, so all good. Right the goals..

Exercise 3 times a week

Pass-ish. I was doing really well with this until this week, when Christmas and a migraine just wiped me out. I did my first body pump class in three years and it felt really good and I’m looking forward to getting back to the gym next week.

Get to a 1.5 minute plank, from my toes

Pass. In fact done on 3rd December. I still don’t like them though!!

Walk 100k in the month

Fail due to lack of measurement. I was doing alright and there were some notable days, like the day I walked 7k without leaving Ealing, this was also the same day I didn’t sit down from 7.30am to 5pm!! Then I stopped to measuring my walking and have no idea how I finished. I’m going to attempt this again next month maybe using a pedometer.

No coffee until 15th Dec and no more than twice a week for the rest of the month

Pass. It may not seem like a big thing to others, but coffee was the thing that I WOULD NOT give up, so to be in a place where I don’t require a vat of coffee every morning to function feels like an achievement. This won’t to be a goal anymore, although I will keep an eye on it because there’s more bootcamp in February and I will have to forgo it entirely for 6 weeks.

Drink 2 litres of water a day

Pass. I do really well when I’m at work but had to be mindful of it when I wasn’t at work. Lesson is to make sure that I have my water bottle with me at the weekends.

Spend 21 days or more without drinking alcohol

Fail by 2 days. Still it was Christmas and I drank way less than usual for December, so I feel good about this.

Continue to eat mindfully

Pass. I think I did pretty well, I didn’t have a Christmas weight gain so all good

Take lunch to work every day

Pass. This really helped keep me on the straight and narrow in terms of my eating and spending too.

Have a clear out of my books

Pass and fail. I took a loads of them off the shelves, gave a heap of them to Max and have a bagful of them in the cupboard but I haven’t got around to giving them away or blogging about them though.

Sew for 25 hours

Big fat fail. I don’t think I did any sewing this month, adjusting to working full time again and just being really busy this month meant that I didn’t get around to it.

Commit to housework spreadsheet

Again with a pass and fail. Did really well in the first half of the month and failed in the run up to Christmas and the flat, whilst not actually a pit, is in need of some attention. Which is how I intend to spend at least some of today!

Did anyone else have goals for Dec? For 2011? How did you do?

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