The New Normal

Posted on January 6, 2016 by nicdempsey

Last week, I started to wear trainers on both feet. I was hoping that it would be time to say goodbye to the special boot, sock and crutch!IMG_3572I didn’t expect that it would take so long to recover from the osteotomy or that even though I am back at work and the swelling has gone down that ‘normal’ after the surgery would be so different to ‘normal’ after.

The first and biggest difference is just how much of a change it’s been. Recovery doesn’t look anything like I thought it would. I need to remind myself that it’s only been 10 weeks, the surprise shouldn’t be that I’m not as mobile as I was before the operation but that I’m as recovered as I am!IMG_3494Other changes are all around how slow I am. I can walk in shoes, unassisted but I’m much slower than I used to. I feel sure that I’ll build up to it again but for now, I have to plan that walking anywhere will take more time that it used to, I find myself being earlier than expected and have been joking that I’m turning into my Grandad who was always early for everything! It’s really strange to be so slow though, I’m was pretty fast walker, so it’s weird to be asking people to slow down…

The next big change has been my attitude to stairs. I’ll be the first to admit that I am not keen on stairs at the best of times, but nowadays, I’m a bit scared of them because they hurt, mostly going downstairs, going up is much easier than down, I’m now the person who will walk up the stairs (very slowly) and take the lift down, I don’t know who I am anymore! It’s also worth pointing out that the pain is not from my foot but from my right knee which has been doing most of the work over the last 10 weeks and is suffering somewhat. It had a massive flare up before Christmas and is better but I do think I have a steroid injection in my knee in the next year because it’s still swollen and sore!IMG_3537I have really soft feet nowadays! Once the scab came off, I started to oil and moisturise it and it seemed wrong to neglect the right foot, so both feet are much less scaly than they used to be. Overall the scar looks good and seems to be healing well but the sole of my foot just under the toes still feels tender and puffy, I’m guessing that is the tendon repairing itself. The other marvellous thing is the contraption I have to wear on my foot at night.IMG_3548I really, really don’t like having things on my feet if I can help it and it drives me nuts, I think the idea is that it’ll help my foot heal properly and keep the toe straighter.

In general, I’m more aware of the impact of physical activity and I think more about what I can and can’t do. This has been a major adjustment because I don’t really know how much I can do, I try to be reasonable, so I’ll walk to the library but get the bus back. Having said that I did overdo it on Saturday and have paid for it this week and had to start wearing the boot again over the last couple of days. I did ask Ma to come and help me take the tree down yesterday as I really didn’t think I would be up to the job of taking it down the stairs and then hoovering the pine needles by myself! I can’t say I wasn’t warned, but it’s been difficult to accept that I can’t do everything I used to do and that an operation on one foot would have such an impact.

Having said all of that, I’m still glad I had it done, it hurts less than it used to and this time next year when I’m back to my walking ways, I’m sure that it’ll have been worth it!

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Food and Budget Update – 26/12/2015 to 02/01/2016

Posted on January 5, 2016 by nicdempsey

Technically, my January budget for food started in December because I go payday to payday and work out how much money I have for the month from there. It’s going to be five weeks until my next payday so the total for the month is £75. January is a miserable month because Christmas is over and its dark and horrible, it doesn’t help that everyone is on a health kick or going dry for January, no-one has any money and nothing is happening. So the 5 people I know with January birthdays do suffer a bit!

However, the upside for me is that the first couple of weeks of January are usually filled with leftover Christmas food especially, cheese, cake and potatoes. So it’s a weird limbo-ish time all round..

After Christmas Day’s feast, we were out for the Kenny Boxing Day drinks. Breakfast on Boxing Day was the traditional post Christmas breakfast of champions, cold roast beef and Yorkshire puddings.


In the evening we worked on the cheese mountain….IMG_3653On Sunday we were in Watford with the family. And spag bol was cooked by Ben, which was lovely…

Ma went home on Monday morning, and although I sent her home with food, my fridge was full. In fairness, I don’t think that Ma and I bought a massive amount for Christmas and we didn’t eat loads more than usual but it did feel like a lot. I was ready to get back to normal.  I did shopping on Tuesday

IMG_3672 My plan was to make granola and use up the leftovers.I checked the cupboards before I shopped and discovered that I didn’t need the peanut butter for the granola because I already had some.

IMG_3680IMG_3681

I spent £14.91.

I made a salmon and potato tart, which used up pastry, salmon, some of the potatoes, and all of the cream, which I consider to be efficient leftover usage. Ma, Sarah and I had it for lunch, with enough leftover to do me for a lunch later on.DSCF5111 New Year’s Eve is for me a very traditional affair, I eat steak and salad and drink fizz, the only change this year was the addition of chips because I had potatoes in the house for the next planned meal.

Cottage pie with the leftover beef. This was a first, I have never used cooked beef in a cottage pie before (there’s never been enough beef left). I used Delia’s recipe as a rough guide and was impressed with it. I like dinner on New Year’s Day to feel like it’s setting a theme for the year, so making dinner out of the leftover Christmas roast felt appropriate for the first meal of 2016, zero waste, frugal and delicious! IMG_3688

 

 

 

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Life Happened – Christmas Mayhem

Posted on January 4, 2016 by nicdempsey

I didn’t have a life happened post last week so I’m just going to catch you up on Christmas… 

  The tree and manhattans before and after..
 Sparkly nailsIMG_3625Ma going nuts with the lametta (of which you can NEVER have too much)IMG_3633Beautiful treeIMG_3643Perfect yorkshires puddings (which I am always proud of and amazed by!)IMG_3657Cute nephew 2, the only extrovert in the family…IMG_3665and cute nephew 1   Ms T (and Jo, not pictured)  New Year’s Eve
  Instagram best nine photos in 2015 (according to what got favourited!) Annual viewing!

Not pictured is all the other stuff, reading, catching up with people and generally having fun. Now it’s properly a new year because it’s back to work and routine!

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Sunday Music: Outdoor Type

Posted on January 3, 2016 by nicdempsey

It was rainy and horrible yesterday and this popped up on shuffle, and I was wishing I was indoors and warm and dry, not out in the rain waiting for the bus. Also, I’d rather read than go for a walk generally!

 

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New Year, New Plans 2016

Posted on January 2, 2016 by nicdempsey

I spent a lot December reflecting on my year. You can see the Advent posts here, here and here and you can see how I felt I did with my 2015 goals here.

It’s easy to get caught up in January in setting unrealistic goals and there’s loads of advice out there talking about how to set realistic goals or about setting them at time when they are easier to stick to than January, which along with November is an unsweetened rice pudding of a month!

I get all of that but I’m a firm believer in setting goals and trying to learn from the missed AND achieved goals. I find that the review process teaches me about the difference between what I think I should care about and what I actually care about and helps me understand how to live with that difference. All that to say that I am setting goals this year and I will try to maintain a monthly recap about how I’m doing but I’m not going to beat myself up, if that doesn’t happen. Last year, splitting the goals up into categories really helped but I think I tried too hard to have concrete SMART goals and didn’t pay enough attention to the emotion or feeling that I was trying to get to with the goal, so this year will be more of a hybrid and some of the goals will go across categories. So, if you’re still reading this, I apologise for the wordiness that is about to hit you.20140327-131500.jpgHOME

I love my living space and I want to continue to feel as comfortable in it as I do now but I want to love it a bit more too, some of it needs some attention.

  • Decoration. In 2016, I need to paint the bathroom, bedroom and living room again. I’d like to tackle the bathroom before June but the other rooms will have to wait until I have full use of my foot again!
  • De-clutter. I want to have another clear out of the cupboard of doom and have a serious look at what’s in the kitchen.
  • Deep cleaning. I will assign a weekend every three months to deep clean the flat. In this weekend I will scrub the floors, clean the oven and windows and all that stuff I’m not good at remembering to do!

DSCF5044FINANCE

I’ve written extensively about this but it’s worth a brief recap. Money is a big control trigger for me (I have a thing about control it’s going to come up a lot this year!). For years, my finances have been like maths, mention it and the shutters come down as I panic about my lack of ability to deal with it. It’s a place where I apply emotion, most often fear, where emotion is not useful or necessary. So this year, I want not to be fearful about my finances or financial situation, I want to be in control. This is going to break down into goals like this:

  • Tracking. I’ve been using a spreadsheet, that Ma (the queen of the spreadsheets!) helped me set up. It tracks what goes in and out of my bank account and what’s left. It also helps me plan for the year. In 2016, I will be consistent about using it.
  • Food Budget. This one is already in play, in 2016 I will set a food budget of £15 a week and I will record my spending and eating on this blog each Tuesday. Any money I don’t spend each week will go into the change jar, which is sealed and won’t be opened until 1st December 2016.
  • Overdraft. I have one and I want it gone, so I will pay it off in 2016.
  • Credit Cards. I won’t use them in 2016. I reserve the right to use them in an emergency but I can’t plan for those…

IMG_3249BODY AND MIND

Home and finance all contribute to how I feel about myself but the focus of this category is on health, exercise, mental well being and ease of living.

  •  Walking. Walking more was a game changer for me in 2015 and I want to get back to that, obviously that will depend on how my foot recovery goes. So I need to have small, long term goals for this, a) by the end of March 2016, I would like to be walking either to work from Paddington Station OR from work to Paddington Station, that’s about 35 minutes a day. b) by the end of June 2016 I would like to be walking both ways and getting my 10,000 steps a day.
  • Body Balance. I love doing this when I do and my work gym membership resumes in July. So I’d like to go to one class a week in July and August and then resume 2 classes a week from September.
  • Yoga. The evening routine is good for me so by the end of February, I want to be doing this at least twice a week.
  • Volunteering. I want to start attending the volunteer allotment days in June and this year use the two CSR days work gives me. I’m sure that my Mum can find a use for me either at the foodbank or the homeless project!
  • Books. The 12 book target was good but restrictive last year, I’m going to give myself a bit more leeway and have 24 books this year.
  • Work Uniform. This year I want to have a work uniform, but not use it as an excuse for buying more stuff. I need to wear office clothes 4 days a week so I will create 6 outfits for work make sure that 4 of them are clean and ready to go for Monday morning.

20140521-092208.jpgWord for the year

This year has been harder and easier to pick a word. If there’s a theme this year, it’s about being true to myself without stepping on others. So the word that I chose straight away was authentic. This year, I want to work on honesty being who I am, which means being open with others about where I am and knowing my value, I know that the whole world doesn’t revolve around me but I am worth the time and attention of the people in my life, in 2015, I didn’t own that and this year I’m going to.

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Friday Links – 1 January 2016

Posted on January 1, 2016 by nicdempsey

Happy New Year, Happy Friday and so on…

David Cameron’s Britain is profoundly unchristian. That Christmas message is the best example of rank hypocrisy I have come across.

Given that the north of the country is mostly underwater at the moment, this seems like a good time to re-post this article from last year. Drowning in money: the untold story of the crazy public spending that makes flooding inevitable

This review of Sexy Fish. It’s just perfect, the restaurant, not so much….

 

 

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2015 in Pictures

Posted on December 31, 2015 by nicdempsey

JanuaryIMG_2718StrasbourgIMG_2683Ms TIMG_2699More Ms T!

FebruaryIMG_2738Team building cocktailsIMG_2760A walkIMG_2778Coffee, getting me through the month!

MarchIMG_2807 Being really illIMG_2825 Warm enough for flip flopsIMG_2821New glasses

AprilIMG_2984Sunny DaysIMG_2939Easter with the familyIMG_2927Martini time

MayIMG_3035ElectionIMG_3064Helping at the food bank

JuneIMG_3141 Flying visit from JohnIMG_3150Quiet timeIMG_3153New washing machine

JulyIMG_3164Fierce nephewIMG_3237 Flicky fringeIMG_0039Hospital

AugustIMG_3269Birthday AdviceIMG_3261 Birthday slidesIMG_3321 Wedding

SeptemberIMG_3373-0Nephew no. twoIMG_3367Cake making

OctoberDSCF4976Family TimeIMG_3443OperationIMG_3465Jelly Babies

NovemberIMG_3494RecoveryIMG_3453View from the sofaIMG_3522Birthday boy

DecemberIMG_3557Birthday MumIMG_3572Back to WorkIMG_3580Haircut

I think that basically sums up the year!

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What I’ve Read – December 2015

Posted on December 30, 2015 by nicdempsey

I fell into a book slump at the beginning of December, I think going back to work was just so tiring, I just didn’t have the energy. Eventually, I just read a bunch of easy to read romance and that restored my reading ways!

The Last Kingdom – Bernard Cornwall (library e-book)

The Pale Horseman – Bernard Cornwall (library e-book)

I have a vague recollection of reading The Last Kingdom years ago, I’d been watching it on the TV and so thought I’d read these two which the series is based on. Bernard Cornwall is just so readable and at some point, I’ll be catching up on the others (I think there are 9!)

Getting to the Church On Time: a Sapphire Falls novella – Erin Nichols (borrowed)

I’m a completist, don’t start with this one but if you’ve read the others, this is a lovely finish (I assume that’s it!). This was the start of me climbing out of the slump…

Secrets of a Scandalous Heiress – Theresa Romain (borrowed)

Again lots of handwaving required but I liked that both hero and heroine were on the edge of respectability, her because she was a heiress and vulgar, he because of birth and Indian descent (also props to pointing out Lord Liverpool’s origins!). I liked the realisation that both had that everyone suffers and the recitation of things about their situation was good. It felt like both characters grew and that it was the growth that allowed them to be together.

When the Duke was Wicked – Lorraine Heath (library e-book)

I read this in an evening, so it wasn’t awful but when I was reading it I was clear that the author was an American, (actually I looked her up and she was born in Watford and raised in Texas) because the language was wrong and I felt beaten over the head with references to ‘Bertie’ and the ‘Marlborough House set’ with clumsy explanations that ‘Bertie’ was the Duke of Wales and the characters kept referring to other gentleman as ‘gents’ and no, no, no. I found myself wishing that she’d set this in America which would make the extreme social mobility and freedom given to the heroine in this story more believable (or maybe I would be able to handwave it away better) but this is supposed to be 1872 and it was a bit jarring. It’s a bit like Grace Burrowes historicals, sometimes it’s fine and I can suspend disbelief and sometimes I just can’t. And I struggled with this one, especially the constant use of ‘gent’. It’s one of those tiny US/UK language differences, I get that to American ears it sounds English and it does but it’s working class cor’ blimey Victorian English not upper class aristocratic English and it jarred, really jarred. Having said that I read it in an evening, instead of making mince pies and marking the ending of December’s slump so there’s that.

Tremaine’s True Love – Grace Burrowes (library e-book)

Burrowes is rapidly becoming an easy comfort read, when I want something new but can’t engage my brain. Don’t read them if historical inaccuracies drive you insane but if you need something undemanding she’s great, she’s also prolific so there’s always new ones to read.

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Food and Budget: 19/12 to 25/12/2015

Posted on December 29, 2015 by nicdempsey

Christmas week!

I didn’t shop on the 19th because I had so much food left over from last week, we were in Watford at the weekend babysitting the nephews and I knew that Ma and I would get the final things for Christmas dinner on the 23rd, so I just went with what I had. The only thing I did need to buy was more coffee, Ma is a coffee hog and in November and December I went through 3 packets of coffee. Our current favourite is the M&S Rwandan coffee so I bought that and the rest of money from this week’s food budget went into that shop.

I spent £12.25 in Sainsburys and Ma spent £17 in Lidl (we had already bought the booze and the meat…). There was so much food…

I only really had Monday to Wednesday to feed myself and it consisted of food from the freezer, egg sandwiches and stir fries…

Ma and I are creatures of habit so I knew what we were eating over Christmas.

Christmas Eve dinner is Fish Pie (which we buy – I’ve never made a fish pie in my life!) and peas.  Christmas Day is smoked salmon sandwiches in the afternoon   and roast beef, roast potatoes, roast parsnips, brussels sprouts and yorkshire puddings for dinner. 

This was the last week of budget (I got paid on Christmas Eve) and because it’s the first month of the new budget plan, I thought that I’d talk a bit about how it went. In summary, really well, I was happy with the amount of food I bought and ate, going forward I need to incorporate healthy protein into the plan because cheese is delicious but not necessarily healthy in the quantities I would like to eat it! (Having said that, there is a cheese mountain in my fridge right now even though I sent Ma home with half of it!) Looking back, I was surprised that some weeks, there seemed to be loads of food and others not so much and realised that entertaining seemed to be the key factor here, which makes total sense but I didn’t realise the impact it would have. I will also need to be more organised in how I use my freezer but I’m pleased with the plan so far and am looking forward to seeing how it plays out in January, which confusingly started on 26 December!

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2015 Goals Round Up

Posted on December 28, 2015 by nicdempsey

At the beginning of 2015, I set some goals. Because missing or deciding not to complete goals is as important in understanding yourself as achieving them, this is the recap of the goals and how I feel it went.IMG_3580BODY 

  • 2 gym classes a week
  • 15 minutes of yoga every day.

This was a partial success. The gym going was great when I was feeling well and rubbish when I was sick and I was full of cold/cough and chest infection quite a bit this year. The yoga was sporadic for the same reason. There was definitely something going on with my gym attendance around embarrassment and shame. I was doing really well and then the routine changed and I couldn’t ‘get it’ and I felt fat and clumsy and all of a sudden there were lots of work people at those classes and I didn’t want to go. Which wasn’t good and I need to work on how to overcome that issue.

I managed the yoga for 50% of the year and once the foot is better, I want to make that consistent because it helped me relax AND it helped my knees!

There were other non goal successes this year, I increased my walking (thanks to the Fitbit I got as a Christmas present!), and I’d like to take that into 2016 because that had the most positive impact on my mental and physical health. I was so happy when I got a well done from the consultant on my walking before my osteotomy because he was impressed at how much I was able to do with my gimpy foot. I think it also had a lot to do with my low blood pressure and more cheerful demeanour at the end of the year.IMG_2646HOME 

  • To only buy 12 new to me books.

I did well on this one. I bought 11 books this year, I borrowed books from friends and used the library more, I learnt patience and waited for books that I wanted to read. What I didn’t do was make as much of a dent on the TBR pile as I wanted, but there’s always next year.

  • Work on deep cleaning the flat more.
  • Declutter and organise

Again a partial success, the house is tidy, I’ve even cleaned the oven a couple of times and I did have a massive declutter of my wardrobe but I can’t say I’ve had a massive declutter Marie Kondo style! It’s a work in progress but I like the space I live in, it works for me and it reflects who I am more than any space I’ve lived in, often this year I made the choice just to be in the space and enjoy it rather than clean it and I’m ok with that!20140914-204723-74843564.jpgSPIRIT

The word for the year was peaceful which I described like this

 It also means feeling calm and secure and content and trusting and joyous about God’s plan for my life and it’s also the place where I accept that I don’t understand or control all of it, which a big deal for me..

I feel that this year has been peaceful. I feel good about where I am and where I’m headed and I feel that I’ve got the balance between what I need to change and learning to live with what I can’t.

So 2015 is done. Time to think about 2016.

How was your year?

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