It’s Blue Monday today, the point at which the New Year stops being full of optimism and starts to feel like a grind! It’s fair to say that I’ve been feeling like that for at least a week! I’ve been in the office more and the commute and the dark is a grind but it’s also the time of the year where the only way out is through and I’m channelling that energy for the next six weeks or so.
Last week really felt like the beginning of the year. Work got serious and quite busy as I’m covering my old boss as well as my current one and the team and home got busy as we started to pack up the flat. The contents of cupboard of doom are now in the living room, all of the pictures in the kitchen, bedroom and hall are down. This week my friend Richard is going to do a trip to the dump for me, so I need to clear the chest of drawers in the bedroom this week and at the weekend I can start to sort clothes out into donate, storage, or I’ll need them in the next 6 weeks. Then I have to start to pack up the kitchen.
Yes, I am feeling very discombobulated but there were good things last week too. We managed a short and rainy trip to the plot, I got to Grace on Saturday night, on Sunday I went to lunch at Tom and Yoey’s, with both of the utterly delightful Kenny grandchildren. Watching Christina put herself in baby jail to read to them was highlight (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to put Christina and Tom in baby jail – thankfully not in the last 20 years or so!)
This week is all about work and packing and in amongst that trying to find some mental calm. Because the weekend was busier than usual, I’m struggling to catch up on mundane things like laundry! I also hate change and while I could probably cope fine with just moving out for a couple of weeks it’s all the other stuff. It’s the two weeks I need to spend packing everything up and having my space all messed up while trying to do normal life, then the two to three weeks I’ll be at Mum’s without knowing when I can move back and then the probable two weeks to sort it all out before the flat is sorted and I can actually enjoy the new kitchen and bedroom.
I know it will happen and barring disaster, by March it should all be back to normal but better because new kitchen, painted bedroom and new furniture. However, it’s all the things, I don’t cope with, lots of transition, uncertainty and lack of control. Also, my therapist is away for all of February so I’m going to have process myself out of this mood! One of my saving graces will be that once everything has been packed I’ll be at Ma’s and I’ll revert to doing what I’m told (early training kicks back in!).
Have a good week!