There were good things this weekend.
The theatre, haircuts, shopping, time with friends, tiding up. It was a full weekend.
All of it was overshadowed by the news late on Saturday night that Tina had died earlier in the day.
I feel that I’m treading a fine line here because although I knew it was coming and I’m sad about it, at the same time I’m very aware that my grief is nothing compared to what Charles, Christina and Tom are going through.
The last time I saw T was just after her birthday, I dropped in to deliver a card and a cake. Tina commented how much my writing of her name was like hers and I reminded her of an afternoon I spent when I was 17, signing her company Christmas cards for her. Having spent 4 hours writing ‘from Tina’ and trying to get it so it was just like hers, I couldn’t get out of the habit and now I write her name almost like she did. Until T pointed it out, I had stopped noticing.
The people we love have the ability to do that, to change us in ways so deep that we don’t notice we didn’t used to do that or be that way.
I was very lucky to have known Tina and I could make a list a mile long of the things she taught me. The most important thing that she taught me was just to get on with life and be as kind as you can, something she did by example and with energy and enthusiasm. I don’t know anyone that knew her that didn’t feel glad to know her and I know that my life is richer for having had her in it.
On Sunday night, Kathy and Adam came for dinner, a dinner that made easier because of my magimix, the magimix that T bought me as a thank you for making cakes for a party. Eating and friendship, seemed like the best tribute I could come up with.
I’ll miss her.