Sunday Music

Posted on September 8, 2013 by nicdempsey

JJ Grey & Mofro – Somebody Else

No story, just ’cause…

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Things are not bad, they’re just not going exactly to plan

Posted on September 7, 2013 by nicdempsey

So it’s not been the most fantastic happy few weeks in my house.

Mostly because I’ve been gearing myself up for a holiday that isn’t going to happen this month and I want a holiday! I am completely aware that this is a first world problem and really isn’t the worst thing that could happen. So I made a Plan B, then I found out that Plan B was a bust and I’m currently trying to implement Plan C.

It will be fine and really the worst thing that can happen is that I don’t get to Washington at all and I’ve wasted £600, which sucks, but it won’t kill me.  However, somewhere in the back of my head is this little voice telling me that this is happening because I don’t deserve good things, because I’m a disaster and useless and I’m going to die alone and I won’t even be the mad cat lady because even cats hate me. It’s stupid and it’s magnified by PMT and I’m just so sick of myself because really I’m 40 and I’m not supposed to still be doing this.

Sometimes though I still am. Over the last week, I felt rubbish and I listened to the voice more than I should have. I knew I needed a good talking to and I was about to ring T for the scolding I needed, then I remembered I can’t do that any more. As I was about to go into the self pity spiral, I could hear T, I know what she would have said and she’d have been right. “That is a nuisance?”, “terrible isn’t it?”, “well what are you going to do instead?”

It is a first world problem and I am lucky and life isn’t terrible, it’s just not behaving as I would like it to. There are worse things at sea and next week will be better.

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Friday Links

Posted on September 6, 2013 by nicdempsey

Happy Friday! I realised this morning, or should it be re-realised?, that of all the things I love about England, its weather is not on that list. Yes, after a week of nice weather, we are back to rain and greyness and I am for the first time since May wearing closed in shoes, my feet are very upset by this! Anyway the weather related rant has very little to do with this weeks links and the unusual lack of them. That’s down to a very tired and distracted week.

1) Politicians and the dangers of the ipad.

2) Why you’re not dead yet.  Actually why more Americans aren’t dead yet, but it’s fascinating, and I learnt that quinsy is tonsillitis, so that’s another bit of knowledge I’ve acquired!

3) The lost cookies! I used to have this recipe from a Guardian magazine, they were my go to cookies, then I lost the magazine and started using another recipe that was good but not as easy as these. This week I found them again, yay for useful blogs! I would encourage you to replace the chocolate with 200g of sultanas which are my favourite!

4) I have to confess that I am not keen on the work of Seamus Heaney, GCSE English Literature retake over 20 years ago, I did alright (B) but I didn’t enjoy it and it left me with an aversion to the works of Heaney and Ted Hughes and Ray Bradbury, I know, my loss. Anyway, Seamus Heaney died last week and Sarah Rees Brennan wrote this and it’s lovely

And that folks is your lot. Have a good weekend.

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The Weekend

Posted on September 2, 2013 by nicdempsey

I can’t believe that it’s September already, schools start to go back this week and summer is over! That really went quickly!

Friday afternoon was team building, we all went off to cook at Recipease, it was fun but I’m still not a fan of Thai Green Curry but I got to bash things with a pestle and mortar!

I opted out of evening drinks and Michael came round and we caught up on the last couple of weeks and listened to Any Questions! (it’s old lady behaviour but I am an old lady!)

Saturday was a bit of a running around day, I went to the gym, did shopping and made Kathy a birthday cake and some soup. I also caught up with the godchildren, and was bullied into wearing red lipstick by Helene, and I quote “if you are going to a party, then you should look prettier than usual”, wise words from the children, but no decent photos! Saturday evening was spent celebrating Kathy’s birthday. I can’t believe how fantastic the garden is looking now and it was nice to catch up with everyone!

However, on Sunday I didn’t feel great and was a bit migraine-y, yes that is a proper description, it’s that feeling that the migraine is coming for you, it can sometimes be avoided by sleep, so I had a very quiet day with frequent nappping. I did catch up with Ryan and spoke to my mum so I wasn’t a complete lock in but as I didn’t leave the house at all, the end of the weekend ended on a rubbish note. This morning, I am feeling marginally better but I it’s going to be a very quiet week as I am not feeling epic!

I do have some things that I need to do this week, like change the dates on my Washington tickets for sometime next year. I’m sad that we can’t make it work but as I keep saying, it’s delayed not cancelled and it’ll just happen next year. I also need to get to grips with the ironing which is taking over the house!

What about you? Any major events or disappointments this weekend? Any grand plans for the week?

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What I’ve Read – August 2013

Posted on August 31, 2013 by nicdempsey

Feed – Mira Grant

I finished this and I’m still not quite sure what I think about it. As I said last month, while I was reading it, it was fine but once I put it down, I wasn’t that interested in picking it up again. I understand that it’s part of a trilogy (because they always are) but I didn’t feel that the story was resolved well enough and the end seemed rushed. I don’t think that I enjoyed enough to read the other books but I’ve said that before and read on so I guess I’ll see how I feel about it in a couple of months.

The False Prince – Jennifer A. Nielsen

I would have loved this far more if I hadn’t already read The Thief.

Far Far Away – Tom McNeal

There are not words to describe how much I loved this. The narration was great and the story did feel like a fairy tale.

Paper Towns – John Green

I’ve had this book for ages and I finally got around to reading it, all in one go on a Saturday. I know that the teenagers in John Green’s books don’t talk like real teenagers or indeed real adults but I love the wordiness of them. This book has the best example of drunk logic, I’ve seen, involving superglueing beer can swords onto hands ‘so no one will steal it’.

The Bane Chronicles 1 to 5 – Cassandra Clare et al

This is a series of short stories about a Magnus Bane, a character from the Mortal Instruments series. There will be about 10 of them I think and they’re being e-published across the year, when I think they’ll be collected into an actual book. They were short, funny and easy to read when I was in a bit of a reading funk. If you’ve enjoyed the TMI books, odds are you’ll enjoy these.

Son of Sobek – Rick Riordan

Clearly short stories were my thing this month! I also read another Percy Jackson book with Luc and Helene, this was his pick for summer reading although I’m surprised he didn’t get around to it sooner! It was very Rick Riordan and I wonder if this is going to be joining up the Percy Jackson and Carter Kane (Greek, Roman and Egyptian mythologies) together in another series of books.

Goddess – Josephine Angelini

I have read the first two of these last year and I said at the time that I would read the third and I did. There are a lot of ‘Twilight-y’ elements in it and this would appeal to fans of those books but Helen is a person in her own right and the most powerful person in this story. All three of these books are like crack and you just don’t want to stop reading them, but like fast food because you see why you shouldn’t of done it after you’ve eaten the fatty deliciousness! Things I liked, it didn’t have a totally happy ending and made a stab at shades of grey, that you can love and forgive someone who doesn’t agree with you, even while you are disagreeing with them and that you can love someone without thinking they’re perfect. I really didn’t like the emphasis on ‘true love forever’ because I don’t especially where teenagers are involved, all of the ‘they’re it for me’ drove me nuts, because eternity is a long time even if we’re supposed to be dealing with mythical love and the Fates. I guess I want to see them in 50 years time, when they’ve been together every day and she’s still all powerful and then what?

Shadow and Bone – Leigh Bardugo

You know what I’d really like? A book that isn’t part of a trilogy or series, I get why it’s done but I’m currently waiting for the end of too many of the suckers. Allegiant, The Bitter Kingdom, Shades of London 3, Shadowscale, the next one in A Song of Fire and Ice (and who know’s when that’s coming!), The Mirror and the Light (and if you haven’t already read Wolf Hall and Bring Up the Bodies – why on earth not?). I would have included Untold but that came out this month. There are just so many stories I am waiting for the end of. Yes, I know that authors owe me nothing and they will get around to it as their real lives, muse and publishing contracts dictate but it’s frustrating. So what did I do, I started another one, which I really enjoyed and I want more, I’m hopeless.

Anyway, the world is a sort of fantasy Russia before the Revolution, the girl is stronger than she thinks and in love with a childhood friend, the friend is mostly not aware and the villain is compelling and villainous. All good stuff.

Siege and Storm – Leigh Bardugo

I still really enjoyed this but for the love of God, with everything that’s at stake why can’t any of the characters actually talk to one another? Half of the issues that Alina and Mal are having could have been solved with conversation. Having said that, Alina’s reasons for not talking are well founded in her character and in the roles that Mal and Alina have played all their lives. I’m anxious to find out how this is going to resolve and I’m not going to find out until next year!

Heroes of Olympus: The Mark of Athena -Rick Riordan

Although the Percy Jackson films aren’t great, I like the books and this one is no different, I read it in a day (during part of that day, a dramatisation of The Aeneid was on the radio which was a little surreal). However, they are great stories and as the characters get older so do the emotions that they deal with. Luc is eagerly awaiting the next one, which is due next month and that’s their strength, kids want to read them and are interested in them.

I read The Thief, The Queen of Attolia, The King of Attolia and A Conspiracy of Kings again. I think I was put in mind of them by The False Prince and once you start the first it’s difficult to stop.

I also re-read Unspoken and finished it the day before it’s sequel was published

Untold – Sarah Rees Brennan

I really enjoyed this (except for the end, which I did not enjoy because someone is in a box!) Sarah Rees Brennan always makes me laugh even when I’m anxious for the health and well being of the characters. What I appreciated most was that even though half of the leads in this story are supposed to be powerless, they keep trying and they stand up for themselves and each other. Despite some themes that could be a bit ‘Twilight-y’ and although Jared is seriously screwed up, he  recognises that Kami is her own person and has her own agency.

“I don’t think you’re weak,” Jared said. “I want to guard you because you are important to me. Because you are – God, this is going to sound so stupid, I can never think of a way to say it – you are precious. I can never think of how to describe the value you have to me, because all the words for value suggest that you belong to me, and you don’t”

Angie and Holly have a complicated relationship and but it’s not all about them being gay, it’s about how being open with new people and learning to trust them is hard. So it reflects the themes of the books. I also like Kami turns the boys thinking that ‘two girls together is hot’ on it’s head for them without being too preachy and righteous about it. Basically, I like it a whole lot and I’m going to be recommending it left, right and centre.

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Friday Links

Posted on August 30, 2013 by nicdempsey

Happy Friday, despite a mid week wobble, it’s been a pretty good week. Although it’s getting a bit darker and chillier in the morning, they sun has been shining and today is a half day as we’re off for more team building this afternoon. I’m not objecting but we have got to be the best built team in Christendom by now!

So it’s been bad week for news, in that the news has been bad, however, my faith in the parliamentary system has been restored and I’m glad that MP’s listened to their constituents and not their party leaders. Also Ed Milliband, if David Cameron thinks you’re a f**king c**t you’re doing something right, finally.

1) Tourism in Washington DC.  I was going to be a tourist in Washington in September, now I’m not but this is interesting nevertheless and the same applies to London, sometimes it’s easy to forget how different your city is for others. Though I would never have any problem with ‘the stand on the right, walk on the left’ rule on the metro, I am tickled that the Washington Metro offers how to cope lessons, I wish TfL did too!

Washington, D.C., is in the heat of tourist season. The metro is packed with bored children whose dads are enthusiastically preparing them for the wonders of the National Museum of American History’s Conestoga wagon exhibition. Tourists idle on the left side of the escalator, one hand on a fanny pack-laden hip.

2) Jamie Oliver – opens his mouth, has have a go at poor people. It was judgemental but some of the comments on the Guardian’s reply are even worse.

“I’m not judgmental, but I’ve spent a lot of time in poor communities, and I find it quite hard to talk about modern-day poverty. You might remember that scene in [a previous series] Ministry of Food, with the mum and the kid eating chips and cheese out of Styrofoam containers, and behind them is a massive fucking TV. It just didn’t weigh up.

“The fascinating thing for me is that seven times out of 10, the poorest families in this country choose the most expensive way to hydrate and feed their families. The ready meals, the convenience foods.”

3) Miss South replies to that statement.

In this piece, you skirt very close to blaming poor people for just not trying hard enough. Now, I think I’ve covered this before here and I have no great urge to rehash the points (although I’m poor and I do know that a hash makes an inexpensive meal at least), but I’m staggered by your lack of responsibility here Jamie.

4) Pensioner parkour. One for my mother to try!

George Jackson, 84, who was suffering from a bad knee, joined the class in the hope of easing his discomfort. While he admits he also struggled with the balancing exercise, he has practised the activity since, turning his regular stroll through the park into a parkour workout. It’s a skill which George hopes will help him stay upright on the pavement during the icy winter months.

5) How to cook the perfect Cherry Clafoutis. I can’t express how much I want one of these right now!

6) Why you are a bad person if your child goes to a private school. Some of the people I love best in the world sent their kids to private school, I was most cross with the ones that voted Labour. This is why.

Many of my (morally bankrupt) colleagues send their children to private schools. I asked them to tell me why. Here is the response that most stuck with me: “In our upper-middle-class world, it is hard not to pay for something if you can and you think it will be good for your kid.” I get it: You want an exceptional arts program and computer animation and maybe even Mandarin. You want a cohesive educational philosophy. You want creativity, not teaching to the test. You want great outdoor space and small classrooms and personal attention. You know who else wants those things? Everyone.

Whatever you think your children need—deserve—from their school experience, assume that the parents at the nearby public housing complex want the same. No, don’t just assume it. Do something about it. Send your kids to school with their kids. Use the energy you have otherwise directed at fighting to get your daughter a slot at the competitive private school to fight for more computers at the public school. Use your connections to power and money and innovation to make your local school—the one you are now sending your child to—better. Don’t just acknowledge your liberal guilt—listen to it.

7) Why America (and the UK) shouldn’t be bombing Syria. I know that the idea of doing nothing seems horrific but if 1 million child refugees isn’t a red line, then neither is a chemical weapons attack on civilians. What we could and should be doing is trying to persuade China, Russia and the Arab League to apply some pressure. Or making sure that the countries taking in those refugees have the money and workers that they need. The list of countries where there is a civil war and there’s been minimal or no intervention is a mile long. The time when British forces could go in, knock Johnny Foreigner on the head and teach them cricket and fair play, if it ever existed, is long gone. Cameron, Hague and co should look to the history of British involvement in the Middle East and try and learn the lesson. Maybe the US and the French could do the same

It’s completely unclear how much military strikes will weaken Bashar al-Assad’s regime and also completely unclear to what extent a weaker Syrian regime serves American or humanitarian interests. Military engagement has potentially large downsides and essentially no upsides. But we can brush that all under the table with the thought that there are no good options, which makes it OK to endorse some shoddy ones.

Except, in this case, it’s total nonsense. Obama has an excellent option. It’s called “don’t bomb Syria.” Don’t fire cruise missiles at Syria either. Or in any other way conduct acts of war. Condemn Assad’s violations of international humanitarian law. If rebels violate international humanitarian law, condemn them, too.

8) It takes more courage to say that we can’t do anything about this. Simon Jenkins is sadly right, I wish we could solve it, but we can’t.

The Syrian civil war is awful to witness but not exceptional. The Lebanese civil war next door claimed 120,000 lives and created millions of refugees. The Iraq war, a similar sectarian conflict, claimed even more lives and continues to do so.

Sometimes it takes courage to conclude of foreign conflicts that we can only do more harm than good by meddling in them. But the idea that not meddling constitutes “allowing them” to continue is a short route to madness. The logic of most civil wars is that they end either when the combatants fight each other to exhaustion, or when some neighbouring power invades and quashes them. Dropping a few bombs would have been the nearest the British government got to Cameron’s own charge of “standing idly by”. It would have been careless of outcome, halfhearted intervention, intervention-lite.

In Syria the human misery is intense and agonising to watch. It merits extremes of diplomatic engagement and humanitarian relief, to which outside attention and expense should surely be directed. Bombs are irrelevant. They make a bang and hit a headline. They puff up the political chest and dust their advocates in glory. They are the dumbest manifestation of modern politics

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Want

Posted on August 29, 2013 by nicdempsey

I think, given how much I drop and generally damage my phone, this could be more of a need!

Lifeproof for iPhone 5, which I saw here.

scale/functionality

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Winter is Coming

Posted on August 29, 2013 by nicdempsey

I know that it’s not quite the end of August but the nights are drawing in and this week in the office we’ve been talking about having to put the lights on in the morning to get dressed and put make up on (obviously that’s just the girls, the boys won’t admit to make up usage but I have my suspicions!).

Every year, I have a sense of dread about the coming season and the gloom that accompanies it. I’ve read a couple of blog posts recently about SAD and oncoming winter and it occured to me that I’ve spent time this month preparing myself for the onslaught (go me!). Although I’ve written about this before, I thought it might be a good time to go over the things that work for me and ask others for any tips they have before it gets really dark.

1) Wake up lamp.

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This helps, no you don’t want to leap out of a cozy, warm bed into the cold full of the joys of spring but it makes getting up in the morning easier and helps with the transition to awake.

2) Sleeping Routine

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This is one of the ways that I try and keep my migraines in check but it does help with SAD too when the urge to stay in bed for the entire weekend is upon me. Getting up around the same time every morning helps and if you do it all the time you’re body adjusts your bedtime to ensure that you get the right amount of sleep for you.

3) Eat well

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It’s easy to say ‘eat better’ and leave it at that. Most people know what that means, fruit, vegetables, whole grains, not too processed. Easy right? Except we’ve talked about budget here before and in the winter when I’m tired, cold, hungry and sad, I just want to eat all the fat, all the sugar and everything else that is bad for me and then go to bed and sleep! I know what I should do but it’s harder in winter. It may be a poor excuse but it’s the truth as I live it so I need to find a way of making healthy choices about food when it’s hard. This is where menu planning  and food prep helps. If I’ve shopped for what’s on the plan and I know what I’m going to eat each day and it’s easy to cook when I get home, I’m less likely to binge on food that doesn’t do me any good.

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On that note, plan treats too. A cookie a day probably won’t kill you, put them in the freezer and take one out to defrost (this works much better now I don’t have a microwave to instantly defrost stuff!)

4) One drink might make me feel better, five won’t.

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Go easy on the booze. It’s good effects don’t last long and I think that all alcohol is a depressant if you have too much of it. Follow the 2:2 rule. No more than 2 drinks a day and 2 days off a week.

5) Vitamins

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I take a multi vitamin and a supplements for my joints (Jointassure) and the migraines (CoQ10, magnesium and B2). I know that my diet should cover it but I’m not convinced  and although I’ve heard the arguments against taking them, I notice the difference when I take them and I notice that difference more in the winter, if it’s a placebo so be it.

6) Knowing my limits and being honest

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I love my friends, when I’m feeling down, they cheer me up so I want to see them. However, the other side of that coin is that I really don’t have that much energy and I need to conserve it. I’ve got much better at saying no to everything because I know that I won’t be able to cope if I do everything. None of the people in my life will be offended if I tell them I can’t see them, especially if I’m upfront about the SAD.

7) Exercise and get out in the daylight.

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Go for a walk during lunchtime, you need as much light as you can get. Going to the gym a couple of times a week. These things affect mood and tired me out so my body and mind match!

8) Bargain

I know it’s silly but when it’s really bad, I make a deal. So if it’s Saturday and I really want to stay in bed all day, I convince myself that if I get up and shower and have breakfast and life is really unbearable after that, then I can go back to bed. Once I’ve had coffee and showered, I might as well do some washing or read that book or check the blog or something and although life doesn’t instantly feel like it’s full of puppies or rainbows, I feel able to cope with it a little better.

9) It’s not forever

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This one is the hardest because it feels like the way you feel is the way you ought to feel, like you deserve the depression and don’t deserve to be happy but the nicest thing about SAD, yes I try to be a fairly optimistic and positive person, is that it lasts for a season and then the sun comes out and you feel normal again. It’s hard to remember but if you can it helps with putting things in perspective.

Ok, other than a light lamp, what have I missed? Do any of you have SAD, what are your top tips?

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Bad day blues

Posted on August 28, 2013 by nicdempsey

It started off so well. Despite tiredness and yuck, it was an ok morning, I was up on time, I found a pound on the way into work, the sun shone, I had a successful meeting.

Then it all went wonky, just little things, minor irritants and I was ok with that because I knew I was grumpy and it would be home time soon.

And it was. Hometime came and as I walked out of the office, I checked my phone. There was a message from John, he won’t be in DC when I’m due to be there. Matt will super busy while I’m there. Can I change my tickets? I’m trying to find out if I can change my tickets but it sucks and I’d be sad not to see John.

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The Weekend

Posted on August 27, 2013 by nicdempsey

That’s the last Bank Holiday until Christmas done.

I decided on Friday Night that I wasn’t at all up for work drinks, I was really tired and I decided to go home and eat Friday Night Pizza (BBQ Chicken YUM!) and have an early night.

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On Saturday, despite the rain and the delayed train, Ma and I went to Broadstairs. It actually wasn’t too bad, it was warm and it only rained for about an hour, it was the right choice because it rained all day in London. We walked and had lunch and paddled a bit. It was the right thing to do.

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On Sunday, I did nothing. Well I read a book, tidied up the flat a bit but that was it!

On Monday, Ma came for lunch, actually, I think that she only came around to pick up S2 of The Wire, she’s racing through it! I shopped for food for the week and I read some more.

Today, it’s back to work, I need to fit five days work into three and half days! Friday afternoon we have team building, we’re heading off to Recipease to cook something, which should be fun!

What did you do?

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