For 3 days in a row, I’ve worn flipflops and sunglasses. On Monday, I wore a summer dress to work rather than a dress I can adapt for cold or warm weather! Unsurprisingly, I feel much happier and energetic, the way that I was expecting to feel in April, I don’t really need hot weather but light and sunshine make a huge difference, I don’t do well in gloom!
I don’t think that this new, sunnier Nic is entirely due to the weather, though it helps. Some of it because of decisions I’ve been making recently. Re-enforcing bedtimes, making an effort to reach out to friends and do stuff, limiting my computer and screen time, focussing a bit more on looking after myself.
I know that it’s early days, I only got to the point I realised I was slipping two weeks ago and I know I’ll slip again before I’m done but for the first time in a couple of months, I’m doing things because I want to rather than because I should.
I’m a huge believer in attitude following action. Over this weekend it happened, the sun came out and because for the last two weeks my actions had been different, my attitude finally flipped around.
Last January, I wrote that “Sometimes you have to do the thing, even if you don’t feel the thing and the feeling will follow. Treat yourself like you matter and eventually, you will feel like you matter. It’s a lesson that I constantly have to re-learn.”
Six months later, here I am again, accepting that I have to live where I am rather than waiting for a mythical perfect time, when I’ll have the attitude/money/clothes/fitness/figure to do it justice.
On Monday, I got out of bed (I wasn’t enthusiastic about it but I can’t wish for impossible things), did my stretching, took my vitamins, did some exercise (getting points for the Super Summer Challenge in the process), I did the same again this morning. I avoided the office sweetie table, I added a little bit more walking to my life by getting off the train a stop earlier than usual. All of those little things are making a difference to my health and my attitude. It’s nice to be here.