Tina and Charles are moving and I spent a large part of Friday walking up and down stairs with stuff from the loft in hand.

It’s a very strange feeling, helping them move out of that house. I met Tina and Charles when I was 15, they were friends of someone I babysat for. The first time I babysat for them, Tina gave me Christina’s favourite book to read to her, the delightfully titled ‘Knickerless Nicola’ the story of a little girl who refuses to wear pants. Despite this slightly rocky start, the arrangement stuck and I continued to babysit and sometimes sub during the holidays for Sue the nanny.

As a teenager, I house sat when T & C were on holiday. When I was in my early 20’s and Craig and I were looking for somewhere to live, Tina was diagnosed with breast cancer. I can’t remember how it came about but Craig and I ended up living in the nanny flat, while Tina had chemo. I think the idea was that if Charles needed to take Tina to the hospital, then Craig (who could drive and was insured on their ‘little’ car) and I could take care of the kids because they knew us and wouldn’t be too alarmed and Craig and I got somewhere to live that was cheap and nice. When T & C were away, we looked after various pets (and their untimely demises).

Even after I lived there, the house has been part of my life. Christelle and I chaperoned a party of Tom’s. There are the Boxing Day parties that I’ve taken my family to (Ma, Ben and even Lu) and summer garden parties for which I made cake.

Of course, it’s easy for me. For Tina, Charles, Christina and Tom, it’s probably far more of a wrench.

On Friday, when I came home, I found myself wanting to talk to Craig. Strange and bizarre. I don’t regret that we don’t talk anymore. We have very different lives and I genuinely wish him happy and I don’t really miss him or wish him back in my life. Mostly, I regret the time I spent with him, not the time without him, I am a much nicer, saner person without that drama in my life.

However, on Friday, I finally understood what my mum feels about my dad. I have this memory of lying with Craig, on the sofa in Tina’s study talking nonsense, when we were happy. It wasn’t a perfect relationship, I remember how bad it was and the girl I became and I don’t ever want to go back there. There was this golden moment though when Craig and I were perfect and most of it happened at Tina and Charles’ house.

I’ll always be sad that it’s just me that can remember that.