Happy Monday!

1. I took an unexpected extra three days off work last week. Or at least the work that pays me. Ma had a series of falls over the weekend that she couldn’t get up from. I’ve spent every day at hers, or on a bus (except for Tuesday night when I had to come over in a cab and I stayed over Thursday and Friday night because of a bus strike). We have carers coming in twice a day at the minute and I went home on Saturday and was home on Sunday. I’m back to work today and I’m working on being less anxious, that will take some time but work.

2. I don’t qualify for carers allowance because I earn too much but travel last week cost me over £100. This week there are bus and train strikes further complicating my life. I’ve said before that the problem with social care isn’t just the cost of it to the State, it’s the burden they put on people who do the right thing. I’m now one of those people.

3. We have an OT and maybe physio visit on Wednesday and an appointment at the NHS Neurology appointment the week after so maybe things are moving. However, we have a possible diagnosis of small vessel disease and Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP). Which to be frank, sucks all round.

4. When I worry, I can get completely overbearing. Right now, I’m really trying not to boss every inch of Mum’s existence because autonomy is important (that’s what she keeps telling me!) However, even though, I am worried and tired and really fucking scared for Mum, she is still one of my favourite people and stress aside, it’s been quite lovely to hang out with her this week.

5. One of the things that happens when I’m very stressed or unhappy is that I don’t feel hungry. My work clothes are definitely feeling looser this week.