It’s a truth universally acknowledged that the world is currently a bin fire of epic proportions. If we ignore things that are actually on fire. There’s Palestine/Israel/Lebanon, in fact none of the Middle East feels stable, there’s Ukraine and Russia, there’s China and Trump blundering about with all the subtlety of a bullying diseased mentally impaired elephant (although that is almost certainly an insult to elephants!), there’s climate change, the cost of living, the state of services in the UK, the state of the Tory Party – well all political parties really but especially the Tories, the rise of the far right and in the UK that oik Farage.

It’s all horrible and it’s hard to feel optimistic personally when the world in general and the UK in particular is such a state.

I don’t have many friends who aren’t coping with caring for elderly parents, children with special needs or ill partners. I’m in pain (thank you continued peri menopausal issues), I’m tired and in my 50’s, I’m worried about my mum and the rest of the world. I feel like I’m on the verge of a mental health crisis and I know I’m not the only one feeling like this.

I’m no stranger to this feeling, I’ve experienced mild depression before and I have the tools to deal with it these are some of the things that are helping.

Gratitude for the ‘First World Problem’ nature of my woes

I’m taking some time to recognise that most of what ails me, can also be looked on as privilege. Care for the aged parent – it’s not actually that much care and I’m lucky to have her still alive, it’s not something either of my parents had in their 50’s. Work difficulties – again it’s 100% better than having no job. The work to keep the house tidy and feed myself? It is tiring but I have a place to rest, clothes to wear and food and the means to pay for it, they are privileges. Bottom line, some things in my life suck but I can guarantee I have it better than a lot of people. It’s important to remember that and be grounded in the good things in my life.

Therapy

Another thing I’m incredibly lucky for is the ability to have therapy on a regular basis, we’re working on a monthly check-in at the moment. People do therapy different ways and for different reasons, but mine helps me keep my ‘bad’ reactions in check and helps me to acknowledge what I’m feeling, why I’m feeling it, helps me decide what to do about it and then develop strategies for doing it. It’s not perfect but it does help.

Distraction

For me that’s generally books. Pick your poison, know it’s distraction and boundary it. In the last few weeks, it’s also been a comedy gig. (Jarlath Regan, who was very funny and it was a perfect middle aged gig, started at 7pm done by 9pm, I was home by 10pm!) This year I’ve already read over 50 books, it’s a wonder I’ve got anything else done!

Tidy up

When I feel out of control, controlling the things I can control really helps. For me that looks like food prep and housework. I’m writing this on Friday night, I’ve just done a bunch of food prep, the flat is really clean and the laundry basket is pretty empty. All this means is that over the weekend and next week, I’m not going to worry about what I’m wearing or what to eat and it’ll be better for me and I won’t be tripping over anything. There’s been loads of studies about mental health and cleaning, it really helps me make my life calmer. Knowing I can change the state of the flat, if not the world does help some.

Small things that make me happy

Flowers, the fairy lights on the bookshelves in the living room, a long bath with a book, a walk, an occasional perfect manhattan, regular clean sheets (seriously getting into a newly changed bed with fresh pyjamas is a really cheap gift to yourself bonus points if you do it before 9:30pm!). I’ve also brought lipstick back into my life because if I’m going to be miserable, it’s going to be with a fantastic bright lip!

People

I am probably more anti social than the average bear but make the effort to stay in touch with the people you love/like. If you’re thinking about someone, call them. If you make a plan to see a friend stick with it. Turn up for celebrations. Go to church if church is your thing. As an introvert, I need time by myself more than others but I also need my community, so be a person that’s interested in others. I’ve had a really good example in this from my friend, Sue. Her life would exhaust me (she’s so busy) but her interest in the world and in the people she cares about is inspiring!

Rest and exercise

Last week I didn’t want to go outside for a walk, so I did 30 minutes on a treadmill. I felt better for it. Try and get some gentle exercise into your life, for me that’s some yoga, some stretching, a walk. Doesn’t have to be punishing but it’s a good thing. The other side of that coin is sleep. Try and get a consistent amount of sleep, for me that looks like 7-8 hours and if I go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time every day, my body sorts the rest out. Honestly, everything is better if you’re rested!

The plot

This is niche but the allotment is a combination of all these things. A distraction, exercise, time outside and with community and you have to hope for things with a garden and it helps

So that’s my list. What’s yours?